Two guys' view of what really happened in heaven (a bit long, but bear with me)
He does not forgive everyones sin. The way i see it God was bored so he made humans.
God : Man those guys are something else. Let's give them a test, 'cause I'm bored. Those who pass the test, get to live with me. Those who fail will burn.
-creates test called 'life
God :Sigh... but those guys are really retarded. The only way some of them will trust me is if i make a sacrifice ... -looks at Jesus-
Jesus : oh hell no..
-sends Jesus to die-
Jesus : -_-
God : Take it easy, man. Hahahhaha. I'm sorry.
Satan : Imagine, you guys are so dumb. They will still follow me .. hahaha. All you have is boring church.. and songs.. and annoying people... lmfao. I have sex
drugs and money. Who will win
Jesus : I really hate that guy.
God : Don't worry, Jesus...
-2000 years later-
Jesus : Daddy.. I'm ready to go. Why are you wasting time?
God : Relax, I'm God, you're immortal.. time passes quickly for us.
Satan : But those guys are real idiots. I blew up the world towers, killed thousands of people. Where are you ? Hiding in heaven hahahahaha.
God : Ok Jesus. I'm tense. Go check on them.
-Jesus goes to earth-
Jesus : What's up? All my lovers put your hands in the air!
-x years later-
10 years later-
Obama: Raid that mansion
Satan: -having sex with wife- oh yeah oh yeah
US Soldier: DIE SATAN - shoot in head -
GUY #1 again:
Jesus' status: But why are those guys so stupid ? They have a denomination for everything.. religion this, religion that .. Who cares about all that? smh...
Satan's comment : Hey relax
-God likes this-
-Holy Spirit likes this-
GUY #2 again..
1,394,031 people like Satans Comment9 AnswersReligion & Spirituality10 years ago
'Father and teachers, what is hell? I think it is the suffering of one who can no longer love... Men speak of hell as a physical fire. I will not look into this mystery for I am afraid. But I believe if the fire was physical, sinners would be glad, for if they were subjected to a physical ordeal, they would forget for a brief moment the infinitely more fearful spiritual torment. But it is impossible for them to escape that torment because it is within, not outside them'.- Fyodor Dostoevsky4 AnswersReligion & Spirituality10 years ago