• Spiritually Speaking, here is an Atheist joke all in fun?

    No harm ment. Any opinions? Subject: An Atheist in the Woods... An atheist was walking through the woods. 'What majestic trees'! 'What powerful rivers'! 'What beautiful animals'! He said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge... show more
    No harm ment. Any opinions? Subject: An Atheist in the Woods... An atheist was walking through the woods. 'What majestic trees'! 'What powerful rivers'! 'What beautiful animals'! He said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!' Time Stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. 'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer'? The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian'? 'Very Well,' said the voice. The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw , brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke: 'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.'
    21 answers · Religion & Spirituality · 1 decade ago
  • Spiritually Seaking, A New Survivor Series, What would you call it?

    THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks. Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes . There is no fast food. Each man must take care of his 3 kids ; keep his assigned house clean , correct all homework , and complete... show more
    THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks. Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes . There is no fast food. Each man must take care of his 3 kids ; keep his assigned house clean , correct all homework , and complete science projects , cook , do laundry , and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money. In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week. Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives , and send cards out on time--no emailing . Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment , a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment . He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care. He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function. Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house , planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times. The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done . The men must shave their legs , wear makeup daily , adorn themselves with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes , keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed . During one of the six weeks , the men will have to endure severeabdominal cramps, backaches, and have extreme, unexplainedmood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties. They must attend weekly school meetings , church , and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting. They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:00am. A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up. The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if... he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice. If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right To be called....................
    4 answers · Religion & Spirituality · 1 decade ago
  • Politically Speaking, have you read this?

    'Twas the night before elections 'Twas the night before elections And all through the town Tempers were flaring Emotions all up and down! I, in my bathrobe With a cat in my lap Had cut off the TV Tired of political crap. When all of a sudden There arose such a noise I peered out of my window Saw Obama and his boys... show more
    'Twas the night before elections 'Twas the night before elections And all through the town Tempers were flaring Emotions all up and down! I, in my bathrobe With a cat in my lap Had cut off the TV Tired of political crap. When all of a sudden There arose such a noise I peered out of my window Saw Obama and his boys They had come for my wallet They wanted my pay To give to the others Who had not worked a day! He snatched up my money And quick as a wink Jumped back on his bandwagon As I gagged from the stink He then rallied his henchmen Who were pulling his cart I could tell they were out To tear my country apart! " On Fannie, on Freddie, On Biden and Ayers! On Acorn, On Pelosi" He screamed at the pairs! They took off for his cause And as he flew out of sight I heard him laugh at the nation Who wouldn't stand up and fight! So I leave you to think On this one final note- IF YOU DONT WANT SOCIALISM GET OUT AND VOTE!!!! (author unknown)
    4 answers · Government · 1 decade ago
  • Spiritually Speaking, which joke do you like A or B?

    A) Ha Ha that is funny B) IS A NONPARTISAN JOKE THAT CAN BE ENJOYED BY BOTH PARTIES! NOT ONLY THAT, it is POLITICALLY CORRECT!!.......and so timely! While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. 'Welcome to heaven,' says St.... show more
    A) Ha Ha that is funny B) IS A NONPARTISAN JOKE THAT CAN BE ENJOYED BY BOTH PARTIES! NOT ONLY THAT, it is POLITICALLY CORRECT!!.......and so timely! While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. 'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter. 'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts,you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.' 'No problem, just let me in,' says the senator. 'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.' 'Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,' says the senator. 'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.' And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises .. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. 'Now it's time to visit heaven. So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns. 'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.' The senator reflects for a minute, then answers: 'Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.' So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above... The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. 'I don't understand,' stammers the senator. 'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?' The devil looks at him, smiles and says....... 'Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted.'
    6 answers · Religion & Spirituality · 1 decade ago
  • Obamas citizenship has been questioned, should we know for sure?

    Obama has not produced a stamped copy of his citizenship. Do you agree? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyspCRmJv...
    Obama has not produced a stamped copy of his citizenship. Do you agree? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyspCRmJv...
    5 answers · Immigration · 1 decade ago
  • Christians? (or other) How does this clip of the life of Christ make you feel?

    Good or Bad and explain if you wish or just enjoy. http://mabrystudios.typepad.com/reflecti...
    Good or Bad and explain if you wish or just enjoy. http://mabrystudios.typepad.com/reflecti...
    5 answers · Religion & Spirituality · 1 decade ago