Add me :p firstname.lastname@example.org I love my boyfriend, Michael - been with him nearly two years (22/11/09) I cant wait to move in with him and start a life together
What has a mouth but can't chew
What can travel around the world while staying in a corner
Food can help me survive, but water will kill me. What am I
Take away the whole and some still remains. What is it
Paul’s height is six feet, he’s an assistant at a butcher’s shop, and wears size 9 shoes. What does he weigh
The person who makes it has no need for it. The person who purchases it does not use it. The person who does use it does not know he or she is. What is it?
You can hold it without using your hands or arms. What is it?
Complete this sequence of letters: o, t, t, f, f, s, s, _, _, _.11 AnswersJokes & Riddles1 decade ago
coz i do.. i had to sit next to this guy today that had extremely bad BO
he actualli made me vomit
haha i just told everyone it was something i ate
Society & Culture > Holidays > Christmas ??7 AnswersPolls & Surveys1 decade ago
did you already have your suspicions or were u just caught off gaurd?...
how did you find out?8 AnswersPolls & Surveys1 decade ago
Society & Culture > Cultures & Groups > Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered ??? wtf yahoo is going senile68 AnswersPolls & Surveys1 decade ago
i feel sorry for my brother (he is 16) coz our mum and stepdad have no faith in him..
they are always yelling at him.. picking on him and treating him like crap
and they think he is a failure and will go nowhere in life coz he isnt very bright
but they never try to encourage him with anything
we both hate our stepdad coz he treats us like crap and he is a total syco.. but i am scared for my brother coz they fight all the time and i know that one day one of them is going to kill the other
me and my brother arent very close but recently he started talking to me about the things that go on in his life.. he has nobody else to talk to so he came to me
well anyways he told me that he has cheated on all of his girlfriends.. including the ones he loved
and i am afraid that he will do the same to his new gf
i know he truly loves this girl but i know he is not smart enuf to stop from cheating
he also told me that he had sex with a 32y/o girl!! and he came home one day with hickys all over his neck.. he told my mum that his gf did it
his gf is of no help to him coz she doesnt understand what is going on in his life.. so i would just like to know how i can help him
any advice?3 AnswersFamily1 decade ago
mine would have to be =]
Arts & Humanities > Philosophy
bahaha wtf?? i think y/a is senile atm lol =]24 AnswersPolls & Surveys1 decade ago
where abouts in QLD do you live =D
i live in Townsville NQ10 AnswersQueensland (Brisbane)1 decade ago
Little Johnny likes to gamble.
One day his dad gets a new job so his family has to move to a new city.
Johnny's daddy thinks, "I'll get a head start on Johnny's gambling."
So he calls the teacher and says, "My son Johnny will be starting your class tomorrow but he likes to gamble so you'll have to keep an eye on him."
The teacher says OK, she can handle it.
The next day Johnny walks into class and hands the teacher an apple and says, "Hi, my name is Johnny."
She says yes I know who you are.
Johnny smiles and says, "I bet you ten dollars you've got a mole on your butt."
The teacher thinks that she will break his little gambling problem so she takes him up on the bet.
She pulls her pants down and shows him her butt and there was no mole.
That afternoon, Johnny goes home and tells his dad that he lost ten dollars to the teacher and why.
So his dad calls the teacher and says, "Johnny said that he bet you that you had a mole on your butt and he lost."
The teacher says, "Yeah, and I think I broke his gambling problem."
Johnny's dad laughs and says, "No you didn't, he bet me a hundred dollars this morning that he'd see your ass before the day was over."
One day a multi billionaire was board, so he asked his butler to get him 3 men.
A few hours later the butler comes back. The man says "OK I've a deal you can't refuse. Who can swim successfully across this pool filed with sharks, eels, and leaches. The winner may have whatever his heat desires."
No one replies so the man gives up.
All of a sudden the man hears a splash. One of the men is swimming as fast as he can, dodging all the sharks, eels, and leaches.
The billionaire was so impressed that someone had enough guts take up his challenge. He congratulates the man and asks him what he wants.
The man replies "I want the Sun of a B**ch who pushed me in"4 AnswersJokes & Riddles1 decade ago
A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt comes to his table and asks, "What would you like, sir?"
He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful frame top to bottom, then answers, "A quickie."
The waitress turns and walks away in disgust. After she regains her composure she returns and asks again, "What would you like, sir?" Again the man thoroughly checks her out and again answers, "A quickie, please."
This time her anger takes over, she reaches over and slaps him across the face with a resounding "SMACK!" and storms away.
A man sitting at the next table leans over and whispers, "Um, Pal, I think it's pronounced 'quiche'."7 AnswersJokes & Riddles1 decade ago
A 6-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6-year-old. "I think it's about time we start cussing." The 4-year-old nods his head in approval. The 6-year-old continues. "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm going to say hell and you say as$."
"OK!" The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
Their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6-year-old what he wants for breakfast. "Aw hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."
WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear every step. The mom locks him in his room and shouts "You can just stay there till I let you out!"
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4-year-old, and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast young man?
"I don't know," he blubbers, "But you can bet your as$ it won't be Cheerios!"
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman,"Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Is there another word for synonym?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
If a parsley farmer is sued can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?
Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?1 AnswerJokes & Riddles1 decade ago
A man was in his front yard mowing grass, when his attractive blonde female neighbor, Judy, came out of her house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.
A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box, and again opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, YOU'VE GOT MAIL."
A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science.
One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child. The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!"
The professor replied, "No, Chief. You're mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion."
The chief was silent for a moment, then said, "Tell you what. You don't say anything more about that sheep and I won't say anything more about that white child."11 AnswersJokes & Riddles1 decade ago
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"
"What dear?" She asked gently.
"I think you bring me bad luck."9 AnswersJokes & Riddles1 decade ago
One day a man was driving down the road in a hot red convertable.
He was driving 15 mph when a rabbit that hopped in front of his car.
As the man swerved the rabbit swerved also and was run over.
The man got out of the car and started crying "OH-MY-GOD... OH-MY-GOD!!!!"
Just then a blonde drives up and asks him what's wrong, when he tells her she says, "Oh I can fix that."
She goes to her car, pulls out a can and sprays the rabbit with it.
It instantly comes alive and hops off, but every five feet it turns back to wave, before finally dissappearing into the forrest.
The guy is amazed and says, "how did you do that?"
The blonde just tosses him the can and drives off.
The can says "Hair Spray: Guarenteed to bring your hair back to life and create a permanent wave."9 AnswersJokes & Riddles1 decade ago