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Godrek Godfreysson

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  • Am I being too controlling in my relationship?

    Alright, so here it goes. My girlfriend and I have been dating for just over two months. I am 17 and she is 14. She is really into the local band scene, and before she moved to my school, she got a punk band started with her friends (she didn't play, just organized). Anyway, she and the band are really close and she doesn't get to see them that often because she doesn't go to the same school as them anymore. That was about a year or so ago. Now, the band has gotten popular, and are headlining a local show with relatively "popular" bands playing. It's the biggest, best gig they've ever gotten. So, to celebrate, the band is getting hammered before the show and are going to a huge after-party which will have alcohol and may or may not also have pot. I, personally, don't have that much of a problem with adults smoking marijuana, as long as it is done responsibly. However, I do have a problem with teenagers drinking and smoking pot, even in a social setting.

    So here's my question. My girlfriend wants to tag along with the band all day and, quote, "not get drunk or stoned, just social drinking and smoking." However, I'm worried that someone might take advantage of her, or frankly, that she'll do something stupid while under the influence and get hurt.

    Would I be too controlling if I went with her to the concert to basically be a "designated driver" kinda guy? I mean, I want her to have a good time, and even if I disapprove of her approval of social drinking and smoking, I don't have a right to force her to not do it. I also don't want to get in between her and her punk band friends, although I am positive they are the reason she is considering this in the first place. I have told her my views on it all, and she has told me that although she would like me to go, she is worried I would feel out of place (I'm more of a metal-head or raver than a punk) or that I would get jealous of her hanging out with her best friends in the world that happen to be guys. However, I think this may just be her way of saying that she doesn't want me to go, because she doesn't want me to see her acting the way she will act at the concert and party.

    So what should I do? My high school experience was relatively sheltered. Is it possible she is just being immature, or am I the one being unrealistically cautious? Any advice is appreciated, and I thank you for your time and perspective.

    4 AnswersSingles & Dating9 years ago
  • Am I moving too fast in my relationship?

    So, hey. I'm a 17 year old guy and, three weeks ago, I asked a girl to prom. Well, at first we weren't dating, but eventually I decided to make it official and I asked her to be my girlfriend about a week before prom. So, then after prom, we went down to the local beach, held hands, started kissing, and eventually made out. Didn't take it any farther than that. However, the next week, I took her out on a date to the movies. We went to the park, started making out and all, and I got to second base. And I've only been seeing this girl for two weeks. Although that doesn't really sound like anything to complain about, here's the thing. This is only the second relationship I've been in, and the first one only lasted a month because it was shallow. And I don't want that to happen to this one. Although I really think I'm falling for this girl I'm dating now, I don't know if that's love or lust. I don't know if I like her for *her* or for *her body*. So, basically, what should I do? Should I tell her that we should slow down? Should I tell her all my feelings and concerns that I have listed above? Or if I am already falling for this girl, do I really need to change anything? Thanks for listening and for any advice you have to offer. :-)

    2 AnswersSingles & Dating9 years ago