I am a reclusive person with very keen need of privacy. My relatives are the type of people for whom “the more, the merrier” hence it always feels very stifling and stressful to be around them. Even my mother has that characteristic. My sibling is a little reclusive, but still enjoys the company of our cousins. I only enjoy the company of a select few, and in recent years, I only don’t mind the company of one (who is more reclusive like me, too), since the rest of the cousins always end up hanging out in cliques. So I only hang out with them one-on-one. So basically, I don’t really talk much to them (cousins and relatives), but I’m responsive. I know im not interesting to them at all.
But I feel as if they’re disappointed in me. I do feel disappointed with them. Where were they when I had breakdowns (I’m seeing a counselor, and I’ve been to a psych, a therapist)? Where were they when my mum was struggling to help me and help herself? They’re my mum’s siblings, and I don’t see them helping her. They always act as if they care about us (acting chummy when they see us, or using terms of endearment: “dear, how are you? How’s your job? Oh. Think positive!”), but I feel that they are shunning us, by leaving us out of the loop of happenings.
I really don’t care about that done to me, but they do that to my mum and sibling too. Which is not fair, and they’re feeling it, although they said they don’t. But I know what I see.
How do I handle relatives like that? It’s hurting. I’m sick of that. And I have to mention one thing, since my grandfather died in 2009, I stopped going for those family gathering things, because tbh, I only went for him. And now, I’m going again for my mum. Only these people…I absolutely hate these things cos I don’t do social gatherings.