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There is no remedy to love, but to love more... But don't be stupid

  • Do I have the right to ask for what I need from someone who is going through their own stuff?

    This woman is dealing with the death anniversary of her mother. Her brother is getting ready to throw away everything that matters because his opinions are warped with grief and anger. He doesn't see that his actions will destroy everything he worked to achieve for decades. I have to get him to see the truth before Friday, or all is lost. Do I have the right to ask his sister to help me help him? Or should I just leave them to their destruction? My destruction is assured if his happens as we are business partners.

    4 AnswersEtiquette10 years ago
  • Can one cat track another cat?

    Max, my 9 year old baby, has been missing for about a week. Today I found what looked to be his fur and some minor blood as if there had been a fight on my porch. I brought the fur in to the other cat, and Bam went nuts. If I put Bam on a leash and take him out, is he capable of tracking Max?

    2 AnswersCats1 decade ago
  • How to survive a suicide?

    I was just told my uncle committed suicide.

    He was in the middle of a divorce. His "wife" refuses to have a funeral. She said there is no God and she won't lie to their children. 7 and 9. These girls won't be attending their daddy's funeral, because there will not be one.

    He, my mom, and my aunt, just buried thier mother. This is two unexpected, violent deaths in less than 7 months. My Aunt and Mother are thrust into the middle of this horrendous mess.

    Please don't judge my uncle for what he did, it's done. No amount of yelling will bring him back so we can kick his butt for choosing the unthinkable.

    I live 600 miles away, I have offered to go there, but have been told it's not necessary because there will be no funeral.

    Two questions,

    How do I help my/his family?

    How do I wrap my head around this in the tiny dark hours of the night?

    11 AnswersMental Health1 decade ago
  • House condemned during lease? What is Landlord obligation to me?

    3 years ago I rented a little house. I've only had the company come and fix things twice. (Except for the roof, I was difficult about that for awhile, but I gave up. We'll get to that.) In spite of all that, and the fact that the first year I lived here I had a valid lawsuit, (loss of use) I've never been late or missed a payment.

    I told them when I moved in that the roof leaked. They "spackle" it yearly, but it's never been completely repaired. The soffet is bad now, full of holes. This is a recent thing, in the last month or two the boards (or parts of them) have begun appearing on my lawn, driveway and dented my car. I replaced the wall and ceiling at my expense after waiting 6 months for them to do it. I've done what I can to prevent further damage to my things, while telling the company that there is still a problem. I don't expect them to fix it anymore, even though they have been told.

    There have been some pretty bad rains here lately, and the house has shifted. My "waste water" pipe has cracked and separated and is spilling noxiousness (no solids thank heaven, but it's still really bad.) into my basement, rendering that part of the house off limits, I can't use my washer and dryer anymore, they sit very close to the "puddle". The bathroom wall caved in last night, and the floor is very, very "mushy". The front porch seperated from the house, and now a cat could fall through into the basement from outside. Yep.

    Here is the real problem. I can't afford to move. All of this damage (other than the original leak by the chimney) has only become evident in the last few weeks with the culmination of the caving in bathroom wall last night. I state again, I do not have the money to move. My lease is not over until January anyway. The landlord wants me to pay to fix the bathroom, pipes and porch. I am considering calling the housing dept and having them condemn the house. It is not safe, and I am not ok with staying here as is.

    I had the understanding that a landlord has to make the property safe and habitable.

    The rational side of me realizes that to save this house is madness for the owner as the property would be worth more WITHOUT the house. (Rapidly develping area, over an acre in land, major thru way, area is going commercial, you get the idea) I strongly suspect that the house will be razed to the ground when I move out.

    On top of all of this, the owner's company raised my rent a few months back. Rent goes up, amount of the house and yard that I can use went down.

    My intent upon moving in was to stay 4 to 5 years and save for a house. I feel I should not have to use my house downpayment money to move. I did not cause these issues that are making the house fall apart so suddenly, and had they fixed the roof, well, I'd not be in this mess.

    I have not called the landlord to tell him of the bathroom wall yet, I need to know my options first. I fully expect to be kicked out. I am recovering from surgery and this is NOT good timing for a move. I would have to hire someone to do it, that's $500 +.

    What are my legal options? I can't afford to move, this house is not safe, I am locked into a lease until Jan. Does the landlord's company have any obligation to help me relocate?

    2 AnswersRenting & Real Estate1 decade ago
  • I need help with my adult cats please, I am desperate!!!!?

    I have three adult cats, two males, one female. All are healthy, no UTI. Within the past few weeks, they have all started to go the the bathroom all over the house. They lurk to do it, I'll be watching one, turn my head, and then they go. It seems intentional. Anyone who has cats understands what I mean. They look at me like they know. One of the males (the baby at 4 years) is actually distressed as he goes, crying piteously while he poos on the dog bed or by the front door. The vet says there is nothing wrong with them. I'm having them go to a second vet on Monday, but until then, my cats have to be "quarantined" with a litter box, which they still refuse to use, preferring the floor of the room instead. Puppy pads you may think... nope, next to it. I've caught them each, at least once and set them in the litter box during the "act". This has no impression. The litterboxes have been washed and rinsed without chemicals, just a little dawn dishsoap. They are still pristine, untouched.

    There is nothing I can do about the things I can think might be upsetting them. I just need to fix the behavior.

    Cat stress that I can identify are that the 14 yr old labrador is on his last days. I can't do anything about the fact he is dying. The other thing that might be upsetting is one cat began darting out the door and has since completely disappeared (spayed female). This female started fighting with them all a few months before darting out the door and finally disappearing. There have been no changes in food, litter, people, etc. Everything else is status quo as far as they are concerned.

    I don't want to lose all of my animals because of this. Please, please, any ideas or suggestions are considered. Drag out your home remedies, I've tried Jean Nate cologne and foil, I'm willing to try some madness to save my sanity and my little family, furry and human.

    Thanks for reading. ;)

    5 AnswersCats1 decade ago
  • Why do landlords raise rent on good tenants?

    We have lived in this house for three years. The landlord raises the rent every year at lease renewal, even though we have never been late, and only had ONE service call in these three years.

    When I asked the office, this house is owned by the manager of a rent-to-own and long term lease property management office, the reply was "it is standard practice to raise rent 10% or more per year"

    Is this true all over, or just in her mind?

    Is there a legal reason that a landlord would want to force out a good tenant by repeatedly raising the rent? Eventually, two years exactly, if the rent is 10% per year, I will have to move out. Is there a squatter's issue or something?

    11 AnswersRenting & Real Estate1 decade ago
  • Flowering houseplant ivy?

    I've had this ivy for four or five years. I moved it to a new window in my house, and it now has pinkish petal type things coming off the base of almost every leaf.

    Is this flowering, or is it sick? It looks healthy, but I've been growing this type of ivy for almost 30 years and never seen this.

    If this is a healthy, normal thing for them to do, how can I get the others to do this? What caused it to finally flower? And, will it die after it's done flowering?

    2 AnswersBotany1 decade ago
  • house financing after foreclosure?

    We want to buy a foreclosure, small "investment" fixer, or build a small prefab.

    Three years ago, my husband broke his leg and we lost everything because we didn't have Aflac. We destroyed our savings, ate up our retirement, everything, trying to save what we had. Not so smart since we have to rebuild it all...

    We went through the foreclosure 3 years ago, but because of some screw ups at the bank, it wasn't recorded on the right date. Can't fix that, we've gone nuts trying, and we'd like to proceed anyway. No use whining over what can't be fixed.

    We will be recorded as foreclosed two years in July. Hubby has over 25 years in his field, only 3 jobs in the last 25 years. I collect a retirement disability for medical reasons. We make a modest, but acceptable living. We don't need cable or two cars. We have 10% of what we want to pay in the bank for the down.

    Since the foreclosure, We have both reestablished credit, mine over 600, his over 700. I know, not great, but we are looking for home loans less than some new cars cost for what we want to live in. We have also lived in only two places for the past 15 years. 12 years before the foreclosure, and 3 years since. We have a perfect rental history, since the foreclosure that is, and never pay anything late, ever anymore. Extra vigilant. ;) Our debt to income ratio will be less than 20% by July when the foreclosure is two years old according to the bank.

    Is there ANY financing out there we may be able to get? What is it called? Construction loans, Rehab loans, First time buyer (me), Disabled, even "improving area" loans would be ok for the right property, anything -- even websites where the owner offers to finance. The only offer we had, last year when my hubby asked this, was a blank signature page not attached to any document. Sure, I'm signing that. NOT. ;)

    I'm hoping for something real this time.

    2 AnswersPersonal Finance1 decade ago
  • Help settle something? What would you do?

    Today, I'm at a gas station, out in public, minding my own business, filling my gas tank. My teenage daughter was getting sodas. As she walks out, a car with three adult strangers pulls up less than 15 feet away. They are driving fast (it snowed 10 inches in this part of my city today, it's not safe yet), yelling, screaming, cursing, obviously emotional. A man, 25-30, jumps out, pulls a very young woman to the door by hair, she is holding a newborn, (not in a car safety seat, another issue, separate though) and he punches her. Dead on in the face. Like he was punching a man that messed with his mama. The baby fell. Everyone climbs back in car and rolls out. The third adult is a woman who appears to be an older relative of the younger woman. There is resemblance. This third woman was in the drivers seat. She never got out of the car.

    8 drivers were standing outside of their cars pumping gas during this incident. 6 were men. 5 were larger and in the same condition or better than the man who was doing the hitting.

    What do you do, a, in the parking lot while he's out of the car, and b, when she speeds off, and he's still hitting the woman?

    Please help settle this dispute. This happened today. I reacted. Some are mad, some are saying I did the right thing.

    I will post what I did after voters pick the best answer. As well as what my daughter thought of my reaction.


    6 AnswersSingles & Dating1 decade ago
  • Mountain Dew lids website?

    My daughter collected the caps for caps lids from Mountain Dew. We have 3 of the same team and I have no idea how or where to redeem them?

    Anyone know?

    1 AnswerNon-Alcoholic Drinks1 decade ago
  • What do you think of the name Koranet?

    It is of Hebrew/Jewish origin and means "to shine"

    12 AnswersBaby Names1 decade ago
  • Stove repair, How to do this safely?

    I am looking to replace a broken glass that goes behind the knobs on my 1950's era stove. The glass piece is approximately 5" wide and 17" or so long. It screws in place on the back splash of the stove having five metal rods poking through holes in the glass. These connect to the knobs for the ovens. This piece of glass that is badly cracked and jagged, is not part of a cook-top but it does get hot indirectly from the burners and the ovens.

    I have not been able to find the part. Is it safe to go to the hardware store and ask for them to cut a glass to my pattern? If so, what type of glass? If not, what can I do? And lastly, should I remove the glass that is in there now in the meantime?

    1 AnswerMaintenance & Repairs1 decade ago
  • Help! Old Dog Health Question?

    My old guy is 13. For the past several years he's been getting more and more digestive upsets. My poor old guy is vomiting and passing extreme amounts of really bad gas. I've put him on at least 30 different types of dog food, taken him to the vet, added and stopped medication and he continues to have the same problems. The vet continues to recommend medication and diet changes. Nothing is working and I am at my wit's end.

    I love my old guy. I'm willing to spend the money on the medication or the food if it works.

    My house smells horrible and I can't breathe. It just can't be healthy for anybody, human or canine.

    6 AnswersDogs1 decade ago
  • Proof of debt?

    Citibank student loans center refuses to prove to me that I borrowed money from them. I say I didn't, they say I did. I have called repeatedly to ask for proof, it's been at least 8 weeks since I have begun this campaign to have them prove I owe. It's my name, my social, my school, but my school says they never got any money from Citibank for me. I also NEVER signed any papers with this company. I honestly did not know they provided student loans until they billed me.

    What can I do to keep them from attaching my credit? How do I prove this is not my debt?

    6 AnswersCredit1 decade ago
  • 47% of income paid to Student Loans?

    I am paying almost HALF of my income out in student debt. No one can afford to do that. This is a new demand for payment. New debt. Do I have any options? My total bill is less than $5,000: so I haven't found a consolidation loan. I can give them 25% of my total income, but not 47%!

    Please read below and advise...

    I attended University of Phoenix, was assured that I would not incurr additional expenses outside of loan. Now I have original loan, citibank loan, and U of P is after me for additional money. The original loan company was applied to for U of P loan, they said they covered it, balance reflects change, but citibank is coming at me saying they paid! Citibank refuses to provide proof that I borrowed the money, but are attempting to attach to my credit. U of P will not accept lower payments, without attaching my credit. Original loan is the only one with a sane payment, and I am out of deferments, unless I go back to school and add MORE debt.

    6 AnswersFinancial Aid1 decade ago
  • Where can I find a download to the Internet explorer toolbar?

    I am looking for a link please.

    2 AnswersInternet1 decade ago
  • for grown ups only.... are you normally really tired and sore in the morning?

    When I was a kid I jumped out of bed and completed each day at a dead run. Now I am just tired. Can I ever hope to get back to that get up and go desire in the morning, or am I just stuck with having mornings get slower and slower as I get older...?

    5 AnswersOther - Society & Culture1 decade ago
  • What do you do with 18 year old child who is interfering in mama's life?

    I am divorced from B's, father. We will call him M, & her sister's, N, father,we'll call him E. B never lived with N's father.

    B had not seen E, since B was 9. Now, just lately, B is 18, & talks to E quite often on the cell. Note that E is currently in Iraq and can't keep his promises.

    E gave mama STD's in the marriage, B knows this, E is $15,000 behind in support for N, E has 3 kids by 3 mamas, 1 mama is dead, & boy lives with his paternal grandparents, support is owed, & has boy with now wife. For B, within the last few weeks, E's chats have taken priority in her life, they had not spoken for over 6 years. B is talking E into promising things for B that M, wants/wanted to do for B but doesn't have the money or time. Inclusive of making M wait while B chats with E on the cell.

    This is being kept a deliberate secret from M and N, E's natural child, B's father & all others. First, Do I ask her why? Second, Do I tell M and N? Third, Do I tell her how this hurts mama?

    8 AnswersParenting1 decade ago