Researching this question, I'm very familiar with this question in reverse. The church allows the marriage, but doesn't exactly encourage it. It's a very grey area in the Catholic Liturgy.
My concern is not, however, the opinions of Catholics in this matter; but the opinions of my fellow Pagans.
I grew up in the Protestant Church, and my entire family is more or less devotedly Protestant Christian. After High School, as I was prepping to enter the ministry, I began reading the apocrypha, catholic bible, Gnostic gospels, ect. The path led me down one of terrible disillusionment & a crashing loss of my own identity, as I had up to that point identified myself based largely on my faith and biblical knowledge. I eventually found solace in pagan ideology as a healthy alternative to what I've come to see as the poisonous & nonredeemable ideology of the Christian Church (Protestant & Catholic).
I'm not really a practicing Pagan any more, I'm busy with work & life. My fiance isn't a practicing Catholic, but her family is very devout. We've had many, many conversations about this; and it is frankly a much bigger issue in my mind than in hers. I'm much more mellow and reserved in my age than I was when I was younger; but I keep remembering long, angry debates & arguments with my family years ago. I fear there might be more to come with in-laws in the future. Is this marriage doomed?12 AnswersReligion & Spirituality3 years ago
I've been dating this girl for about 3 mo. and she's fantastic. We click and mesh on a level I've never experienced before, and we just seem to "get" each other. She's the kind of girl I could see myself settling down with. I'll admit that things have moved a little too fast, but we just get on so famously. I love her and she certainly seems to be in love with me.
Here's the problem. She's a senior in college. She's about 25 and I'm 30. She's getting ready to graduate with a degree that's going to require her to move at least 1-2 hours away. I'm about to buy my parents out of the family business. I don't really want the family business, but it would provide a decent income and a certain amount of security. Buying it would mean that I'm anchored in place though. So, in 6 mo this relationship either ends or one of us must compromise on our prospects. I don't want her to stay as I think eventually that'll cause some resentment on her part. I'm willing to go with her if things continue on the present track, but I'm not sure how wise it is to walk away from what would certainly provide some security and prosperity for myself and my future family. I'm in love with what seems to be my soulmate, but I'm not sure a good compromise exists. Do I pursue this with the hopes that the answer will become clearer as the date looms closer? Do I accept that the relationship has an expiration date? Or should I just end it now, before the parting becomes too difficult for both of us?1 AnswerSingles & Dating4 years ago
I'm still in love with the last girl. I don't want to be and I hate myself for being so. It's a long and complicated story, but suffice it to say: we aren't getting back together and don't need to. That doesn't change how I feel though. I poured myself into online dating and talking to every other female I encountered for a while and that helped. I've gotten positive responses and have even got a few numbers online. The thing is, I'm not really motivated to talk with these girls anymore. Where it once made me feel better, now it just makes me feel worse. Having them on the line is just adding to the inner turmoil. I don't really like them and I can't bring myself to speak to any of them right now. I'm sure they're all great girls, but they aren't really the kind of girl I want. I want a girl like my ex and she was really kind of a jewel in the desert. I feel like I can't find another girl like that.
Is it fair to talk to these other girls knowing I don't really like them and probably won't be that into them later? For me or them?
I really just want to give up right now, the difficulty of any relationship is daunting, and the difficulty of finding the kind of girl I'm interested in makes it triply so. It's so much easier just on my own and a relationship will just complicate my life. It's just after coming so close to someone I could see myself with, it rejuvenated a hope in me that is slowly dying again.
Am I just too particular? Should I give these girls a chance or just give up again until I meet someone else I actually like?
Because that could be a really, really long time. For all I know these other girls are really great. Two in particular seem fairly interested, but I keep putting off contacting them again. Plus I keep passing up opportunities to talk to attractive girls that are giving me signals because I'm so upset with the situation I don't feel like I can bring myself to be charming or friendly right now.
How do I get over all this and try to move on before I let the ember inside die completely and I just give up again? Because today, that's really all I want to do. Just crawl into a hole and give up till I graduate in May and move far away. Of course, I imagine I will just repeat this pattern there as well.
So... assuming I should just fake it till I make it. After all, if I pretend to like them I might actually grow to like them. It isn't like I don't enjoy their company or find them attractive, and it's possible the connection I'm looking for will develop over time. Is it fair to them though? And how do I overcome what I'm feeling? I can't just keep putting things off like this if I intend to follow through.
How do I put aside the uncertainty, the anxiety and depression, the fact I want to be there with someone else? How do I give them a chance? I'm really trying to find a way, but all I'm left with is staring at my phone wondering what to say. Half of me wants to tell them, "Look, you're great. I just don't think it's fair to let you develop feelings for me when I'm not really emotionally available." And the other half is saying, "Yeah, that's true, but if you don't try you'll never know and you'll just be stuck pining for the ex again. And who is that good for, really?"1 AnswerSingles & Dating8 years ago
A girl I study with seems to have taken a liking to me, & I think she's quite fit. She's a Chinese exchange student here in America. We exchange glances and she rubs against me quite a lot, even when it doesn't seem strictly necessary. Not sexually, but like holding her shoulder or knee against mine. She started doing this after I sort of started making sub-textual hints that I found her interesting; i.e. exaggerated eye contact and mild flirting. I know that Beijing girls are more western, but the culture is still very different. Also, as a country boy I'm very aware of personal space and touching, so I'm concerned I might be making more of it than is there. Is she interested and flirting back or just being friendly and perceiving that I am as well? Also, I worry about approaching her in a way that might be inappropriate from her culture, any tips there?1 AnswerSingles & Dating8 years ago
I theorize that if you could build a waterproof flat grill designed to withstand depth pressure it would function. Since the grill works through conduction heat instead of convection there's no reason it wouldn't work.
I ask this to settle an argument with my obnoxious brother who insisted that a flat grill could never work under water after I pooped on his underwater deep-fryer theorem. Even if you could get around the oil being lighter than water and convection issues the hot oil would react with the water. The only way around this would be to remove the fryer from under water every time you took anything out/ put anything in, thus derailing the whole underwater concept.
So please, help me bust this egotist's bubble. How can I build an underwater flat grill? Is it possible? What else needs to be accounted for? Also, is there any way around the fryer issues? I don't think so, but I'll gladly be proven wrong by anyone with a rational argument. My brother just thinks his arguments gets more valid the louder he yells. What can I say? Jock.1 AnswerEngineering9 years ago
I am an incel, or at least that's come to be my opinion. It isn't actually a recognized condition, but take it from me- it's real. I've spent years working on my condition. I've read all the right books, I've taken on a better wardrobe, and I've taken up exercise and the occasional martial arts class. As a result I'm healthier and more attractive than I've ever been and the female population has taken notice. I even had to look up the definition of what svelte means so that I could understand a few of the complements I've been getting. Let me tell you, it's a good word when you grew up the fat kid, lol.
My point being that I'm not an unattractive guy who can't get girls. I do, and that is why the problem is currently at a head. I've had several occasions recently, and not-so-recently, that I've offended a female, confounded my male counterparts, and severely disappointed myself. I can handle women with ease socially; I can talk, flirt, and tease with the best of them, but I cannot go kino, as the pickup community might calls it (I told you, I read all the books- even the morally ambiguous ones lol). That is, I cannot bring myself to make physical contact.
Whenever I'm with a women, even when she has made it more or less clear that she wants me to touch her, I can't. Not unless she actually initiates contact herself or actually asks me flatly to initiate sexual contact. To put this into perspective, I recently spent the night watching movies with a girl. She rested on my arm for a while and at one point she asked me to feel her breasts (in a mildly sexual way). I did so in a way that satisfied her request but wouldn't escalate contact or transmit my sexual interest, which was strong. I sat the whole night by her side straining against a mental barrier that held me in check. Another story puts me in a girls bedroom, her surprising me with lingerie and a candle, and my icing the situation within moments despite being highly attracted to the girl.
I've called myself a coward, half a man, impotent, and asexual. My friends and family have started calling me gay, mostly in jest but I know there is some question there. I'd wonder myself if I didn't feel what I felt. I'm attracted to women, I just can't do anything about it.
I think it all stems from a traumatic childhood incident wherein I gave a girl a flower and she made a scene. I was 6 and had to change schools afterwards. Additionally, the one relationship I've ever been in ended very painfully, thereby double reinforcing that little voice screaming no (not an actual voice...not that crazy... yet)
So what is a guy to do? When all he wants is a little intimacy, and there are girls willing to give it to him, but all he can do it stand in terror? How does one overcome PTSD (post traumatic sex disorder, lol)? Please guys, I'm at the end of my rope here I really need some constructive advice. This condition has caused me extreme depression and I've developed a pattern of alienating friends rather than have them realize I have this condition, whatever you want to call it.2 AnswersPsychology9 years ago
My female cat has decided to live under my parents bed & my dad is not agreable to the situation. Is there any way to discourage my cat from staying in my parents room?
I've tried putting catnip in other places to encourage her to use them, but she doesn't seem interested even though she has to go up a flight of stairs to get to her food water, & litterbox.6 AnswersCats1 decade ago