• I had a baby and my husband pushed sex on me a few days after I had the baby. It hurt a lot. What to do when he keeps pushing for sex?

    Hb wants sex every day and I only want it a few times a week. He watches porn and hides it from me. He googles other women in public in front of me even though I've told him this hurts me. He tells me "I'm a prude." I am not. Had several guys before we married and sex was good between us. Is he a sex addict or do you think... show more
    Hb wants sex every day and I only want it a few times a week. He watches porn and hides it from me. He googles other women in public in front of me even though I've told him this hurts me. He tells me "I'm a prude." I am not. Had several guys before we married and sex was good between us. Is he a sex addict or do you think this is normal for a man?
    9 answers · Marriage & Divorce · 3 years ago
  • What do buddhists say to those who die who are not buddhists?

    I have been sitting with the Buddhists in meditation and was wondering what they would say to me as my brother in law just died. What would they say to those families who have loved ones who die and aren't Buddhists?
    I have been sitting with the Buddhists in meditation and was wondering what they would say to me as my brother in law just died. What would they say to those families who have loved ones who die and aren't Buddhists?
    4 answers · Religion & Spirituality · 4 years ago
  • I have a really hard time opening up to anyone right now even my women friends.?

    I was married a long time and my then husband used to tell things I told him in confidence to other people including his ex wife and other women he flirted with. Eventually he moved in with a woman who kicked him out after 4 months and I did initiate divorce and divorced him as that was the final straw. We have 3 children but they are grown now... show more
    I was married a long time and my then husband used to tell things I told him in confidence to other people including his ex wife and other women he flirted with. Eventually he moved in with a woman who kicked him out after 4 months and I did initiate divorce and divorced him as that was the final straw. We have 3 children but they are grown now with their own families. I just work really long hours at a job that is very demanding. I go online to find someone to date but no one appeals to me. I went to a therapist but she only would schedule appointments every four or five weeks. I feel pretty lonely. I do go to a Zen meditation group and have made some superficial friends there. I have some work buddies. One of my best friends moved away. I feel stuck. Any thoughts on what to do?
    3 answers · Mental Health · 4 years ago
  • What's wrong with me?

    So I have sponsor in a 12 step food addiction program and she finds me "contentious" as I am a vegan and she is not so had questions around proteins in the diet. I also have had breast cancer so was worried about eating soy or milk products as I have heard some research findings that these are not good for people w breast cancer. I then... show more
    So I have sponsor in a 12 step food addiction program and she finds me "contentious" as I am a vegan and she is not so had questions around proteins in the diet. I also have had breast cancer so was worried about eating soy or milk products as I have heard some research findings that these are not good for people w breast cancer. I then missed going to a Saturday retreat I had signed up for and the leaders took me to task for being selfish and not being virtuous or disciplined. I told them the day before. This was a Zen retreat. They ended scheduling it for Friday (a day I have to work) and Sat a day I go to the 12 step program. I should have told them earlier I couldn't come but kept having hopes I could get the days away from these other commitments. I do accept responsibility for that-for not telling them soon enough. I thought the "lacking responsibility and virtue" and being "selfish" charges were a bit harsh. But given these two things happened within days of each other I began to wonder if I am deeply flawed and have a lot of work to do on myself still. I started to feel like a bad person, or that the charges were true. Would like some feedback.
    2 answers · Friends · 5 years ago
  • I feel like my life is falling apart.?

    I got divorced now 8 years ago and never had another relationship. I'm very ambivalent about a relationship. I used to be religious, even got ordained and was a minister for awhile. I got a Ph.D. in that but now, to be honest, my faith is practically nil. I just have no interest in the Bible or God or Jesus. I then started sitting with the... show more
    I got divorced now 8 years ago and never had another relationship. I'm very ambivalent about a relationship. I used to be religious, even got ordained and was a minister for awhile. I got a Ph.D. in that but now, to be honest, my faith is practically nil. I just have no interest in the Bible or God or Jesus. I then started sitting with the Buddhists and that was helpful too except I am not sure about the karma and and rebirth or other aspects of the religion. For now I've lost interest in most things. I have two best friends and one of them is moving away. My work is long hours and tiring but I do like the work. I work as a consultant psychiatric nurse practitioner to medically ill hospitalized patients.It is emotionally demanding and stressful at times. Since I work 10 hours a day it's hard to do other things during the week. I have a hard time focusing. I spend too much time watching Netflix. My circle of friends is small. I fell like I am falling apart. I have very little motivation to do much. Any help out there? I am open to suggestions.
    5 answers · Mental Health · 6 years ago
  • Is 5.6% a good return on investments?

    I have a balanced portfolio of moderate risk mutual funds and bonds. Over the past five year the return was 5.6%. Is that good or should I be looking for another broker? How can you compare different brokerage houses? I have a broker at Morgan Stanley DW and my broker moved to Wells Fargo. How can I tell which is better and who to go with?
    I have a balanced portfolio of moderate risk mutual funds and bonds. Over the past five year the return was 5.6%. Is that good or should I be looking for another broker? How can you compare different brokerage houses? I have a broker at Morgan Stanley DW and my broker moved to Wells Fargo. How can I tell which is better and who to go with?
    4 answers · Investing · 6 years ago
  • How to deal with my husband's girlfriend at our daughter's wedding?

    So my daughter is getting married in a destination wedding and my ex husband is attending with his live in girl friend. She had a very high profile approach at the event. Asking everyone to be with her and him. She kept asking me to join them and i felt awkward joining them or refusing to join them. She seemed to be trying very hard to get... show more
    So my daughter is getting married in a destination wedding and my ex husband is attending with his live in girl friend. She had a very high profile approach at the event. Asking everyone to be with her and him. She kept asking me to join them and i felt awkward joining them or refusing to join them. She seemed to be trying very hard to get everyone to like her and better than they liked me. I really didn't know how to handle it. I tried to be cordial but not spend a lot of time with them. She was often with my children and arranged adventure trips with them and breakfasts etc. Am I a bad person not to like this? I wish she hadn't come to the wedding but she is my husband's partner so my daughter felt she had to invite her. Any thoughts on this?
    10 answers · Weddings · 7 years ago
  • Does anyone use Dr. Fuhrman's Eat to Live eating style and nutritarian plan?

    I have been following the Eat to Live Nutritarian eating style and I really love it but haven't lost as much weight as others seem to to . Are any of you trying this? It is a whole food plant based diet that moves away from the standard American diet which is making so many obese and sick. What do you think? What is your experience?
    I have been following the Eat to Live Nutritarian eating style and I really love it but haven't lost as much weight as others seem to to . Are any of you trying this? It is a whole food plant based diet that moves away from the standard American diet which is making so many obese and sick. What do you think? What is your experience?
    2 answers · Diet & Fitness · 8 years ago
  • My adult daughter borrowed my car to visit a friend on Mother's Day but won't take me out. Is that ok?

    So overall my daughter is a great woman. She is an intern MD ans working really hard. This weekend she asked to borrow my car to go to her friend's bacherlorette party and is returning my car on Mother's Day at 1 pm then has to go to the hospital to work at 5 pm. She isn't going to take me out on Mother's Day although every other... show more
    So overall my daughter is a great woman. She is an intern MD ans working really hard. This weekend she asked to borrow my car to go to her friend's bacherlorette party and is returning my car on Mother's Day at 1 pm then has to go to the hospital to work at 5 pm. She isn't going to take me out on Mother's Day although every other year she has. She didn't even mention it is Mother's Day. My other daughter is taking me out. I feel like she just wants to use my car and doesn't really care about me, but then I think maybe this shouldn't bother me. Do you think I should say something or just let it go?
    1 answer · Friends · 8 years ago
  • Is tea better for you than coffee and why?

    I have heard both tea and coffee have caffeine like substances but that tea is better for you. Why is that? Would drinking caffeine free tea or coffee make both harmless? Please let me know your sources of information to distinguish opinions from authority. Thanks.
    I have heard both tea and coffee have caffeine like substances but that tea is better for you. Why is that? Would drinking caffeine free tea or coffee make both harmless? Please let me know your sources of information to distinguish opinions from authority. Thanks.
    9 answers · Non-Alcoholic Drinks · 8 years ago
  • Got divorced 6 years ago, now afraid to date. Any advice?

    Your Open QuestionShow me another » 6 years after my divorce I still haven't dated and I am terribly afraid to date.? My husband left me to sleep with and move in with his former secretary with whom he had been having an non-sexual emotional affair for several years which I felt threatened by. After 4 months of living together she threw him... show more
    Your Open QuestionShow me another » 6 years after my divorce I still haven't dated and I am terribly afraid to date.? My husband left me to sleep with and move in with his former secretary with whom he had been having an non-sexual emotional affair for several years which I felt threatened by. After 4 months of living together she threw him out, I don't know why but he did relate that she said she started feeling "like your wife felt." After a few months he found another woman and moved in with her. They are still living together now,but have not married. He tells me she hasn't said she loves him. I initiated the divorce after the second woman. He calls and says he loves me but I don't believe him because his actions don't match the words. He also says he loves this second woman, or rather third woman he is living with, he also says he loved the former secretary. I have moved on in most ways, have my own job and friends but find it really scary to think about dating. Sometimes I want the companionship and at other times I am afraid he or we will be like my former marriage. In my marriage (my first marriage and my ex husband's second marriage) he wanted sex every day and sometimes I didn't want it. Once he hit several times when I refused when I was pregnant and not feeling well. It got to be a big deal with him blaming me for my lack of interest. Tthe more he blamed me and I felt guilty the less interested I was. He left saying he wanted "wild passionate lovemaking every day." I didn't feel I could meet that standard. He critiqued me constantly in the sexual area and I felt less and less confidant in that area. Before I met him I had had two or three good sexual relationships with men or so they told me, and I had been satisfied too. My ex, when he was my husband, was not often satisfied. He would have an orgasm then say "let's do it again." That's ok once in awhile but not as frequently as he wanted. So this was our marriage-him pushing for sex more and more and me getting less and less interested. I do think we had to end it and I couldn't do it because I believed marriage was for life. However, eventually I could see it was over once he had those two sexual relationships with others. After all that I am afraid to get intimate with others, but I do miss having a man in my life as a companion, friend and lover. Should I start up a relationship now even though I am so afraid? I have been to counseling many times and it hasn't much helped with this. He and I went 8 times in couples counseling together and I went as an individual and in group counseling but it didn't change much. What do you all think?
    3 answers · Marriage & Divorce · 9 years ago
  • 6 years after my divorce I still haven't dated and I am terribly afraid to date.?

    I am older, 60 yo, and my husband of 28 years (3 grown wonderful children) left me to sleep with and move in with his former secretary with whom he had been having an non-sexual emotional affair for several years which I felt threatened by. After 4 months of living together she threw him out, I don't know why but he did relate that she said she... show more
    I am older, 60 yo, and my husband of 28 years (3 grown wonderful children) left me to sleep with and move in with his former secretary with whom he had been having an non-sexual emotional affair for several years which I felt threatened by. After 4 months of living together she threw him out, I don't know why but he did relate that she said she started feeling "like your wife felt." After a few months he found another woman and moved in with her. They are still living together now,but have not married. He tells me she hasn't said she loves him. I initiated the divorce after the second woman. He calls and says he loves me but I don't believe him because his actions don't match the words. He also says he loves this second woman, or rather third woman he is living with, he also says he loved the former secretary. I have moved on in most ways, have my own job and friends but find it really scary to think about dating. Sometimes I want the companionship and at other times I am afraid he or we will be like my former marriage. In my marriage (my first marriage and my ex husband's second marriage) he wanted sex every day and sometimes I didn't want it. Once he hit several times when I refused when I was pregnant and not feeling well. It got to be a big deal with him blaming me for my lack of interest. Tthe more he blamed me and I felt guilty the less interested I was. He left saying he wanted "wild passionate lovemaking every day." I didn't feel I could meet that standard. He critiqued me constantly in the sexual area and I felt less and less confidant in that area. Before I met him I had had two or three good sexual relationships with men or so they told me, and I had been satisfied too. My ex, when he was my husband, was not often satisfied. He would have an orgasm then say "let's do it again." That's ok once in awhile but not as frequently as he wanted. So this was our marriage-him pushing for sex more and more and me getting less and less interested. I do think we had to end it and I couldn't do it because I believed marriage was for life. However, eventually I could see it was over once he had those two sexual relationships with others. After all that I am afraid to get intimate with others, but I do miss having a man in my life as a companion, friend and lover. Should I start up a relationship now even though I am so afraid? I have been to counseling many times and it hasn't much helped with this. He and I went 8 times in couples counseling together and I went as an individual and in group counseling but it didn't change much. What do you all think?
    3 answers · Marriage & Divorce · 9 years ago
  • I have tried and tried to get over my former husband dumping me for another woman and tried to forgive.?

    So we were married for 28 years and had our problems. My then husband said he wanted to divorce me and move in with his secretary which he did. He lived with her for four months and then she threw him out. The divorce wheels were in motion and I didn't want to be his wife any more either. In another two months he moved in with another woman... show more
    So we were married for 28 years and had our problems. My then husband said he wanted to divorce me and move in with his secretary which he did. He lived with her for four months and then she threw him out. The divorce wheels were in motion and I didn't want to be his wife any more either. In another two months he moved in with another woman the divorce was finalized in two years after that. I think I should forgive him and I have tried to, but it doesn't seem to work. I says the words, I pray for him and them, I even tried the Buddhist practice of loving kindness or maitri. I tried writing out the feelings and then burning them up in a ritual. I am really stuck and it has been six years now. I have moved on with my life and he clearly moved on with his. How do I get free of these strong feelings of humiliation, anger, hurt, and feeling like I am no good. I have been to therapy and two divorce support groups. I have tried church and a Buddhist Sangha but the pain just sits there. I can function, have good friends and a good job. Any thoughts? Time doesn't seem to be healing this.
    10 answers · Marriage & Divorce · 9 years ago
  • Do you think it's ethical to declaw kittens?

    11 answers · Cats · 9 years ago