A woman and a man hard of hearing are getting ready to make love for the first time. The woman whispers to the guy "I put in a diaphragm so don't worry about getting me pregnant."
The guy then puts his face right next to her privates. Starting to get excited the woman tells him in a loud voice" If you're going to do what I think you are, go right ahead, honey."
"Not tonight, my dear. I really don't want to get you pregnant. I forgot my my glasses and I don't have a flashlight to look up there to read the directions."
By this time the woman is very frustrated so she shouts "What damn directions, you idiot? I just told you I put in my diaphragm so I couldn't get pregnant!"
"Diaphragm? Hell, I thought you said diagram!"5 AnswersJokes & Riddles5 years ago
Our parents will have been married for 65 years this month. They have about all the material things they need, but we know that they really appreciate getting cards and letters from relatives and friends. Would it be out of line to ask people we know to send them a card and a short note for their anniversary? We would emphasize not to send any gifts.2 AnswersWeddings6 years ago
My bf's son has just begun BMT at Lackland AFB and is scheduled to graduate on Friday November 1.
However, he told us before he left that there's always a chance that the class would not graduate on schedule. Does anyone know what the probability of a BMT class not graduating on time?
Wr need to know because we plan on purchasing airline tickets.from Columbus OH to San Antonio for the Thursday before graduation. We realize we could purchase refundable tickets but the cost of those is not within our budget. However we can't afford to buy nonrefundable tickets, have the graduation postponed, and have to buy two new tickets either.
When will the trainees have a definite confirmation of the date they're graduating? If we wait until then to book a flight to San Antonio, will we have difficulty getting seats?4 AnswersMilitary7 years ago
My niece is getting married next year and is registered at Williams Sonoma. I would like to purchase the Kitchen Aid mixer she wants but I know I can find the same exact model elsewhere for a lower price. She is requesting that the gifts be sent to her present address prior to the wedding so she'll know what she's getting ahead of time.
First of all is buying the exact same item elsewhere besides the store where the bride is registered considered proper etiquette? Secondly, will she be allowed by Williams Sonoma to remove that item from her wish list even though it won't be purchased there?. Unless she deletes it there may be a chance someone could buy her the same gift.8 AnswersWeddings7 years ago
The print comes out all bunched up. This just started happening today for no apparent reason. I reinstalled the latest version of ITunes but that did not solve the problem.
Also, could someone recommend a software program which I could use to create and print CD jewel case inserts in case I can't get ITunes to work in that regard? I don' t need anything with a lot of bells and whistles, just so I can copy and paste music folders with song files in them and be able to print out a cd jewel case insert listing the names of the tracks, artists, and times of the songs.
Thanks!2 AnswersMusic & Music Players8 years ago
Criteria: Songs should be romantic and positive, no breaking up songs or songs of unrequited love,1 AnswerValentine's Day8 years ago
Need ideas for a collection of Valentine songs. I have plently from the 50's - 80's. Now I'm looking for some from the 90's to the present. My criteria arw that they have to be positive about love and romance; no songs about breaking up or unrequited love. They can be in an upbeat tempo or slower. Please no bad language or overly sexual themes. I'd like to stay away from rap, hip hop, and metal. Thanks!5 AnswersOther - Music8 years ago
I have a limited data plan so I don't want to waste data trying to learn while connected to the internet on my cell phone.1 AnswerCell Phones & Plans8 years ago
Wouldn't it be wonderful that there could be numerous people out there who are now finding salvation in Jesus Christ because they felt compelled to tune in and watch Whitney Houston's funeral service yesterday? Just think of the millions of people yesterday afternoon who heard the testimonials about Whitney's relationship with her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We heard her friends, family, and clergy witness for the Lord and talk about their own personal relationship with Christ and what their Christian faith meant to them. The choir and some of the solo singers sang praises to God. I realize that Ms. Houston had her struggles with drugs and alcohol but I couldn't help thinking that maybe God is using her untimely death to bring more souls to Him.11 AnswersReligion & Spirituality9 years ago
Here's what I happens: I will rip some files from a cd (using WIndow Media Player)to a folder on my hard drive. I designate those by name of song and name of artist. Then at a later time, I will put in the same cd but check some different songs to be ripped to my hard drive. WMP shows which files have been previously ripped. Prior to ripping I only check the new files I want ripped to my hard drive. I DO NOT CHECK THE FILES THAT HAD BEEN RIPPED BEFORE.
What happens is not only are the new files ripped to my hard drive but the previously ripped files that I did not check are ripped again to my hard drive. It doesn't matter if I ripped the new files to another folder than I had ripped the previous files to, the files in the first folder are overridden.
This causes a multitude of problems that I don't have time to list.
So how do I prevent previously ripped files from being ripped again and overriding the original music files?1 AnswerOther - Computers9 years ago
One question about Barack Obama that receives very little attention is why did he change his name from Barry Soetoro back to Barack Obama Jr.? His adopted dad, Leo Soetoro, certainly would have had more of an influence on him growing up then his biological father, BHO Sr who abandoned him before the age of two. How common is it for an adopted person to desire to reclaim their original birth name especially when their birth father had little to do with them except being a sperm donor? Did Barry have a falling out with Soetoro and decide to cut him out of his life by repudiating his name? Was Barry/Barack an ungrateful son who spurned the man who was willing to take the responsibility of raising him? Although we're not clear if Obama actually bothered to legally change his name. can't it be interpreted as disrespect to Leo Soetoro? What was Obama's motivation? Does this give us more clues about Obama's true character? With the perfect storm conditions of 2008, he still could have been elected President under the name Barry Soetoro.4 AnswersGovernment9 years ago
I have been downloading and recording Youtube videos onto to blank dvds using my PC. I record them in the avi format. I use Realplayer to burn the files onto the dvds. When I play the dvd in my dvd player that is hooked up to my tv set (large screen 35") the video quality of most of the videos is quite poor. The videos appear to made up of hundreds of small squares on the tv screen. which obviously detract from the quality.
Is there a better way to record Youtube videos onto to dvds so that the video quality will be improved when played back on a televison? Any valid suggestions will be appreciated.4 AnswersYouTube1 decade ago
I'm thinking about getting an XM Satellite subscription for my parents as a combination Mother's and Father's Day gift. They received a free 3 month subscription when they bought a new car in Jan but now that's expired. They wouldn't have to buy a special radio for the car and I understand there would have to be a separate XM friendly radio for their apartment.
Would I have to pay for two separate subscriptions, one for the car radio and another one for the radio in the apartment? Is there any kind of combination subscription that's cheaper than two separate subscriptions?
Your help is much appreciated2 AnswersRadio1 decade ago
can be used at the same time. For example, someone calls me, I pick up one handset, and another person in my house can pick up another handset so we both can talk to the caller at the same time.
Is there such a system available with an answering machine feature? Please provide brands and model numbers if possible.
I presently have a Vtech 5877 and that feature is unavailable.2 AnswersLand Phones1 decade ago
(10) Your annual breast exam is done by a medical panel consisting of customers at Hooters.
(9) Directions to your doctor's office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park."
(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
(7) The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.
(6) The only item listed under Preventive Care Coverage is "an apple a day..."
(5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
(4) "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges," is not a typographical error.
(3) The only expense covered 100% is "embalming."
(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M's on them.
AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'VE JOINED AN OBAMA FREE HEALTH CARE PLAN:
(1) You ask for Viagra and they give you a Popsicle stick and Duct Tape.14 AnswersGovernment1 decade ago
software? I used to have the software but for reasons too numerous to go into, it's no longer on my hard drive The basic version Music Jukebox 10 is still available to download but I have not been able to find the Plus.
I need the Plus version so I can print out the titles and artists to make jewel case inserts for the cd's I burn. That feature is not available on the basic version.
If that is not available, can someone recommend a similar program that does what Musicmatch Jukebox 10 Plus did? I don't need anything really fancy, just something where I can import folders of music files into a program that will allow me to use my printer to print the titles of the songs and the artists as to make jewel case inserts.
Also, I don't want to make the jewel case labels with the adhesive on the back. I simply want to be able to print out the title names and artists on 8 1/2 " x 11" paper or cardboard.1 AnswerSoftware1 decade ago
I've downloaded Bittorrent and have been getting somewhat frustrated in trying to locate mp3 files. I'll type in a name of a specific song or artist and fail to get the specific results I'm looking for. It will take me to a long list of related web sites, some having to do nothing with the song I'm looking for.
How is using this system ( bit torrents) better then using something like Limewire when I have to shift through a bunch of websites just to find one song?
I've gone to some torrent websites llike Mininova to search for songs but the results are often nothing to do with what I'm looking for. Also, I search for a specific song title but get results for entire albums instead.
How do I make looking for torrents more "user friendly" for myself. In addition, do I have to subscribe to numerous torrents websites just to find what I want? (I/m mostly interested in pre 1990's music)
Thanks for any and all help.1 AnswerSoftware1 decade ago
First of all, it is always tragic when any young person dies from an overdose. I imagine his family and friends must be going through some immense pain. I would not wish this on anyone, no matter who they were.
Having said that, I have to wonder if this young man's father, Dr. Dre, is somewhat complicit in his son's death. Dr Dre's songs often glorified drug use and the "gangsta" life style, so would it not be surprising that his children would be exposed to this "thug life" philosphy..
Did his son, Andre Jr, grow up in an home atmosphere that condoned the use of illegal and potentially dangerous drugs? Was he exposed to seeing his father smoking marijuana or crack cocaine or abusing other substances, whether legal or illegal?
Was Dr. Dre's son taught, directly or indirectly, to disrespect or disobey any laws that he happened to disagree with.?Again, if you listen to the lyrics of the rap songs that Dr. Dre was involved with, there is a definite disdain for law and order.
Was Dr. Dre neglectful as a father by not counseling his son against abusing drug or instilling a respect( not necessarily agreeing with ) for the law? Only those who are relatives and intimate friends of the family may know the real truth. But if you know about Dr. Dre's background and listen to the music he's recorded, it makes you wonder if the attitudes that he professed in his music were the same attitudes that he exhibited in his personal life and conveyed to his children.
Were these attitudes partially responsible for Dr. Dre's son's tragic death? I do not profess to know the exact answer to any of the questions I've asked here nor do I believe coming from a substance abuse free, law abiding family makes a kid 100% immune from drug abuse or trouble with the law. I just have to wonder if Dr. Dre's personal life style adversedly impacted the unfortunate choices his now deceased son may have made.6 AnswersCelebrities1 decade ago
I have about a dozen soft sided cd cases with each case containing numerous music cd's of a certain genre or time period. I want to be able to easily label and identify what's in each of the the cd cases. The problem is that the labels I have affixed onto the cd cases shortly lose their adhesiveness and fall off.
What are some types of labels that will adhere to soft sided material without becoming loose and falling off ? I'm not looking for labels to put on the cds themselves, but on the soft sided cd storage cases. I've been to Staples, but what they recommended still fell off.
Certainly there are other cd collectors who have managed to solve this problem. I would appreciate any help.1 AnswerOther - Music1 decade ago
more of a sin than sex between two unmarried people(consenting adults) who do love each other? The Christian and other religions mandate that couples must be married or any sexual actitvity between them is sinful and lustful. For an unmarried couple, it doesn't matter how strong their love is, sex between them is still a sin.
How many married couples,who have fallen out of love with each other, continue to have sexual relations to satisfy one or the other's physical desires? One spouse might still be in love, but not the other spouse. A wife may continue to sleep with a husband who no longer loves her to keep her marriage together.
What about people who have married each other , not for love but for convience, economic reasons, or because of the woman was pregnant?
Why is sex between two unmarried people who are in love a sin, but not a sin for a married couple who are no longer in love or have never really loved each other? All thoughtful opinions are welcomed5 AnswersReligion & Spirituality1 decade ago