I have a sincere question I want to ask you all. I attend a University where our MSA is very important to me and so many others. Alhamdullilah I have changed a lot as a person and my faith has become stronger. I am finding the middle path. I see this life as nothing but a dream.
So here is the issue, bear with me:
Someone told me that people were telling a boy in the MSA that two other girls are telling people that he is into me and that we have a thing. This is false - there is nothing between us and it is a rumour. He is a very patient, very quiet, and very respectful individual mashAllah. A family man and appreciates sincerity. He sits for a long time after prayer - he sees this dunya s nothing but a dream. I've learned this through discussions at University with many other people while we were both there. I don't know how else to describe him. Basically, I respect him very much. He is always respectful around me and everyone else, picking up my books , frequently buying me things. He lowers his gaze and does not touch me or flirt with me at all.
So I felt bad about these 3 diffferent things he bought me over a span of a quarter so I decided I would buy him a thankyou gift because of this guilt. On the same day, right after I give him this thankyou gift, I found out about this rumour. When I was giving him the gift, he said Salaam prior to me saying anything as he saw me first. He was respectful and didn't say anything rude. He didn't seem bothered from me, but maybe he was embarassed about the rumour? (Reflecting on the situation) When I gave him the gift he said "I do not deserve this. But, he also smiled and laughed when he saw it as it was something from a book he really admires. He doesn't know that I know about the rumour, but I do think he has a feeling I know.
I don't want to embarass him, we are not close friends, we are just respectful towards eachother and I appreciate his kindness. I just feel really bad and I am afraid that he is bothered with me? Can someone give me feedback from their perspective? Is he angry with me? I know I didn't intend anything wrong but subhanAllah I feel terrible for some reason. When my female friend told me about the situation, I sincerely cried because I was worried that he felt upset, or uncomfortable because rumours were being spread about him. If you knew him, you would understand how much relationships with everyone mean to him. If you met this gentleman you would be in awe out of his respect for everyone.
Everyone respects him and he loves Allah so much he was so bothered when he found out someone was saying that he was immodest and 'going out with me'. I was uncomfortable too because I do not know how to act around him anymore. i don't want to act but I'm a little bit nervous because of the potential emotions.
I get the vibe that he admires me, but I don't believe in dating and relationships before marriage. I also don't believe in creating fitna. My intentions are clean alhamdullilah I am sure of this. But please tell me what is going on in his head because I am embarassed and I do not know how to react when I see the MSA again. I might break down for hurting him unintentionally. Even though my close female friend told me I was doing nothing wrong and same for him. Do you know what I mean? JAK. He is 2 years older than me. I do admire him but I pray every night to Allah to get him out of my head so that I can become a better Muslima. Please help me? JAK.