Hi. One of my closest friends is also my roommate, we've been roommates for 4 years. Over that time we have evolved to become best friends, almost like sisters. Partially due to the close proximity, and partially because we are opposites but found that to be what makes us compatible. We've had various issues that friends/roommates are expected to have and we've managed to get through them. We just moved into a new place together last month in fact. Here's what happened: She found a notebook that used to be my journal and she basically found the mother-load. All of my venting and ranting and complaining about her, all in one place, and she read it. I guess whether or not she was snooping through my stuff is besides the point, even though she claims she wasn't but I know that she was. The point is, she feels awful about what she read and she was crying and she told me she read it and I can't even say sorry about it because they were my own private thoughts and feelings that no one was supposed to see and they were true at the time. She basically feels a huge betrayal and I tried to explain to her (and she already knows) that I'm very paranoid and usually think the worst case scenario is the true one and I bottle things up and keep things to myself. Sometimes I get them out by journaling. This is they way we are opposites. Me:introvert, she: extrovert.
I still don't know all of what she read, she just told me about it this morning. But I'm sure it can't be good. In fact, every nasty thing I've ever thought about her and chose to keep to myself, she probably now knows. Do you think we can still be friends after this? Or will she always hold this against me even though she might not admit it. How can I fix or help the situation?? She claims to forgive me but she's so shocked about what she read...she said she thought I was the one person who didn't judge her or think awful things about her.
Am I crazy? I feel like we all hate things about our friends and choose not to tell them certain things to spare their feelings/spare our own sanity.