A month ago I was feeling neglected because my husband would sit up all night on the computer and was sparing me very little time. In the evening, he would come home late, doze off on the couch and despite all my best efforts he would not converse. At weekends he was too tired to give me any attention. He had always claimed to be sexually shy and pretended he had been a virgin when we met. He had also given me a very tough time for the first few years we were together, on the grounds that his ex gf had cheated on him, and telling me over and over that if I did the same, he would never forgive me, I felt he was punishing me for the experience he had had with his ex,
At the end of January, I discovered he had been having an affair with a pupil from the school where he works. He bought her a phone and paid 5-10 credit daily for her whilst our children dress in 2nd hand clothes and we eat supermarket cheapest brands. He has been suspended from work and I have asked him to leave our home. The police are involved and he stands to be prosecuted once they have investigated him. I then found out he has been having regular cybersex for years. This dates back over at least half of our marriage and through two of my pregnancies. He has even contrived for us to meet with and socialise with one of his online contacts, with whom he has had a cybersexual relationship, which he says only occurred after we met her. I was 7 1/2 months pregnant when we met her.
I feel utterly betrayed and lost. I now find, however, that he is at my home every day, begging for another chance and insistant that he has changed and can be trusted.
How can you tell if someone has changed? I love him deeply and feel my four children and I have lost everything because he has mistreated us. Do you think in this situation you could save your relationship or not?