• Did you ever.. ?

    Best answer: About ten years ago, I didn't just like, but absolutely, truly, deeply loved a man that was beyond wrong for me. He was an alcoholic, and no matter how much he loved me, he always loved the bottle more. What I did was what I had to do: I got a restraining order on him. One night, in a drunken rage, he threw a punch at me. ... show more
    Best answer: About ten years ago, I didn't just like, but absolutely, truly, deeply loved a man that was beyond wrong for me. He was an alcoholic, and no matter how much he loved me, he always loved the bottle more. What I did was what I had to do: I got a restraining order on him. One night, in a drunken rage, he threw a punch at me. Fortunately, he was so drunk, he not only missed, but also fell to the floor. He got up, and tried to take another swing, but my dogs tackled him, hackles up and everything, one of them actually snapped at his face, causing a pretty bad tooth-scratch across his chin. Didn't bleed or break the skin, but was still quite red and ugly. Anyway, my dogs had him down and good, and he was too drunk to get them off. Amazing... they were the most adoring, loving, sweet dogs - still are, actually! I had no clue they could get like that, act like that! They never have again, actually, and they are now 18 and 16 years old. Of course, nobody has ever threatened me in my own home again like that. Anyway, I called the police. Actually thought for sure that they'd take my dogs away, that I'd be in trouble, but I wasn't. In fact, when the police arrived, both dogs were still on top of him, still hackled up, still growling, still would not let him budge, but of course, he was still yelling, screaming, angry, and threatening me verbally. THE MOMENT the police came in, he immediately stopped yelling and screaming, and BOTH of my dogs jumped off of him and quite happily went up to the police, all hi there new person can we sniff you? All tail wagging and all!! It was hysterical, cause both police came in with those long metal rods with the loops on the ends used to grab animals! (Yes, I had told the police that I could not get my dogs off of him, that they would not listen to me, etc.) Police took him to the station, kept him overnight, but actually didn't charge him with anything. Did not charge my dogs or myself with anything. Did ask me to have my vet contact them with their medical histories and behavioral opinion. (They were 6 and 8 at the time). Anyway, the very next day, he started calling me up on the phone around 10am, threatening to "get me," all kinds of really nasty stuff ... he was already drunk again! ... I stopped answering, he left nasty messages, I left the house (with my dogs) and went to the police. These threating messages were VERY explicit, VERY violent, VERY scary. They told me to get a restraining order, because of the threats. One of them went to my house and got my answering machine, while the other one offered to drive me to TESSA, our local women's shelter. I said no, but drove myself. Got the restraining order - temporary, 14 days - that afternoon. He was served that night. Sherrif who served him actually stayed with him for three hours, until he calmed down, to make sure he wouldn't do anything stupid. He failed to show up 14 days later for the permanent hearing, so it went permanent by default. Anyway, I never heard from him or laid eyes on him again. But the one thing I will NEVER forget, EVER, was how the police and the judge reacted. They were so incredible, so supportive. The judge actually said to me, that she was absolutely thrilled to finally see a woman in front of her, saying "ENOUGH! This is unacceptable behavior in my life!" BEFORE she ended up in the hospital! She said I should be proud of myself for putting an end to the madness right at the first signs of trouble, and that she really appreciated that I was not making any excuses for him. Said "I get so sick of people saying, it wasn't his fault, he was drunk!" Anyway... what I didn't know at the time was he wasn't just drunk he was also doing meth that night. I had no clue he was doing that crap, and didn't find out until a mutual friend told me about a year later. The restraining order, the mutual friend told me, was a real "wake up call" for him - he never did meth again after that night. But he still drinks, she said, and too much. That was the last I heard about him. He's left me alone, and I've no doubt he will for the rest of his life. It took me a while to regain my sense of safety, my sense of trust. Still haven't fully, even 10 years later, but I know that I did the right thing. And yes, my dogs got steak for dinner the next day :) I even barbequed it for them :)
    13 answers · Singles & Dating · 10 years ago
  • Would you Marry a?

    Best answer: I do believe people are different with each marriage, but at the same time, the same problems are always there. We try to run from our problems, and instead, take them with us into each relationship from the prior one. Finding out the problems in his prior marriages would give you a good idea as to whether or not those problems still... show more
    Best answer: I do believe people are different with each marriage, but at the same time, the same problems are always there. We try to run from our problems, and instead, take them with us into each relationship from the prior one. Finding out the problems in his prior marriages would give you a good idea as to whether or not those problems still exist, and they probably do. If he is very bitter about his ex's, talks crap about them a lot, blames them for the failures of the marriages, etc., I would view that as a very strong warning sign to RUN, FAST, and FAR AWAY :) Generally, men (and women, for that matter) who are still bitter, talk a lot of crap, and take no responsibility for what they did wrong are not ready for a new relationship... much less a new marriage. If he cheated in the past, move on. Once a cheater, always a cheater. If he's a cheater, then he IS a liar and thief, because cheating is lying and it is also theft of affection.
    11 answers · Marriage & Divorce · 10 years ago
  • Girls only who have had sex?

    Best answer: didn't really hurt me at all, but I'd been bike riding and horseback riding and overall, VERY athletic, for years at the time. What hurt the most was realizing I picked the wrong guy to give my virginity to :) He said he loved me, all the wonderful words, we dated about 6 months, but a week after we finally did it, he dumped... show more
    Best answer: didn't really hurt me at all, but I'd been bike riding and horseback riding and overall, VERY athletic, for years at the time. What hurt the most was realizing I picked the wrong guy to give my virginity to :) He said he loved me, all the wonderful words, we dated about 6 months, but a week after we finally did it, he dumped me for another girl. Which, as I now know, is pretty normal at 17 years old :)
    12 answers · Women's Health · 10 years ago
  • Is there any limitation when your in love?up to what extend you give for your gf/bf?

    Best answer: One of the biggest lies we hear every day is "Love conquers all." Another one is "If you love me, you will... (fill in the blank)." If I am understanding your question right, you are asking, at what point does the actions/requests/behavior of a loved one "cross the line?" Or more simply, where do you... show more
    Best answer: One of the biggest lies we hear every day is "Love conquers all." Another one is "If you love me, you will... (fill in the blank)." If I am understanding your question right, you are asking, at what point does the actions/requests/behavior of a loved one "cross the line?" Or more simply, where do you draw the line with a loved one? The best answer is simple: Draw the line at anything that puts you at risk of danger, that makes you feel very uncomfortable, that is illegal, or that is abusive. The lines I've learned to draw in my own relationships are simple: - No cheating. If my boyfriend wants to be with someone else, fine, go be with them. But he will no longer be with ME. If you cheat on me, it is OVER. No second chances. None. Some people think that is overly harsh, but if a man who supposedly loves me, supposedly respects me, is so careless and callous to put MY LIFE, MY HEALTH, at risk of some disease he may or may not pick up from some whore, he is NOT good enough to be in my life anymore. - No alcohol abuse. I'm not talking about having the occasional beer after work or while watching the football game - that's fine. I'm talking about guys who drink every day, who get drunk "with the guys" more than once a week, who PREFER the bottle over me. If you love your beer that much, you can go sleep with your beer cause you ain't sleeping with me anymore. - No drugs. None. No exception. I almost lost my car once because a now-ex-boyfriend used my car while he was out buying drugs and the guy on the street he bought the drugs from was an undercover cop. Took me four months to get my car out of impound - and I had to pay for it!!! - No threats, no violence. If a man in anger threatens me in any way, he's gone. If he hits me, he's gone. If he threatens my dogs, he's gone. - Don't steal from me, don't ask me for money, don't ask me to cosign anything. The answer is NO. You are THE MAN. As THE MAN, it is YOU who is supposed to be the provider. Nothing wrong with the woman earning money, don't get me wrong, not even wrong if she earns MORE than him, like I usually do *grins*. But as a MAN, that means you have to have a job, even if it is a crappy minimum wage job, and you have to be able to take care of yourself. You don't have to be able to take care of me, but you MUST be able to take care of yourself. If you can't take care of yourself, you won't be able to take care of any children, and you are not mature and responsible enough to be in a relationship. Go grow up, get a job, and take care of business, then call me. That's pretty much it ... Despite how harsh some of this sounds, I've actually been really very easy-going with my boyfriends over the years. I'll forgive a lot of stuff - and I've forgiven some real doozies over the years, but I won't put up with any behavior that puts ME at risk, and I won't put up with irresponsibility - which includes drinking/drugging. Hope this helps.
    7 answers · Singles & Dating · 10 years ago
  • How many calories did I eat today? Did i eat too much...Was it healthy enough? helppp, thank you. (:?

    Best answer: Okay, at 5'5" and 117 pounds, you have an approximate BMI (body mass index) of around 19.5. That means you are borderline UNDERWEIGHT. At 17 years of age, you would actually be considered at a weight that could potentially be dangerously LOW. With your active lifestyle (marching band is a LOT of work!!!), you actually... show more
    Best answer: Okay, at 5'5" and 117 pounds, you have an approximate BMI (body mass index) of around 19.5. That means you are borderline UNDERWEIGHT. At 17 years of age, you would actually be considered at a weight that could potentially be dangerously LOW. With your active lifestyle (marching band is a LOT of work!!!), you actually should be eating MORE calories, especially proteins. Overall, I would say you are eating quite healthy, but you are lacking some essential nutrients. What you are lacking in your diet is part of the reason WHY you feel so sore and tired - you are eating healthy, but you are not getting enough of the right nutrients. In other words, it is possible to eat healthy but not eat right. :) I would suggest the following: - Add proteins - if today is a typical example, you are not getting near enough protein. Add some eggs, legumes, peanuts, more beans, and other protein-rich foods to your diet. - Despite the vegetarian black bean soup and lettuce on your sandwich, you are not getting enough vegetables, nor enough variety. Add MUCH more veggies to your diet, especially broccoli and carrots, as they have other benefits. - You are eating a good amount of fruit, but more would not hurt you. Especially oranges. Remember, fruit and veggies have virtually NO fat, and are low calories, so you won't hurt yourself by eating more, more, more :) - Stop obsessing about the calories. If you are going to keep counting the calories you are taking in, you need to start counting the calories you are BURNING. If you are burning MORE than you are eating - and I pretty much guarantee that you are - then you are starving your body of vital energy it needs to not only survive, but thrive. In other words, you are denying your body the energy it needs to actually do the exercise you want to do. You would not drive a car that didn't have enough gas in it, you should not drive a body that doesn't have enough energy in the tank. - Your diet is very low fat already, actually, dangerously low, and you need to add some fat to it, especially in the form of dairy products. Skip the skim milk and use the whole milk. Add some cheese to that sandwich. Use the low fat spread on the bagel instead of the fat-free. As a 17 year old young woman, it may seem like you have "stopped" growing, but your body is still developing, your organs and your bones are still growing, albeit slowly. They need some fat - and with your sporting lifestyle, your body needs SOME fat grams to use as energy, especially when you are marching. I am not saying go out and eat a loaded cheeseburger! Just add some fat grams, especially dairy. - Which leads me to calcium, which is vitally important at your age and activity level, especially if you don't want to end up with osteoporosis later on! That's another reason you should add some dairy products to your diet. - Take a good-quality multi-vitamin every day. - Make sure you are drinking PLENTY of water, PLENTY. - Add some whole-grains in the form of granola bars, trail mix, and other stuff like that. - It's a bit hard to tell from your post, but I suspect you are not eating OFTEN enough. Keep some fruit and trail mix on you at all times, so you can snack between meals. I hope this helps.
    5 answers · Diet & Fitness · 10 years ago
  • I thought my luck ran out.............but.....butt?

    Best answer: Tears me up to hear about such bigots and small-minded people... I really feel for you and him, this is just wrong. On the one hand, you might want to talk to a lawyer about the specific places you've been denied housing due to race. On the other hand... I hate pursuing legal options... always makes me feel like I failed to... show more
    Best answer: Tears me up to hear about such bigots and small-minded people... I really feel for you and him, this is just wrong. On the one hand, you might want to talk to a lawyer about the specific places you've been denied housing due to race. On the other hand... I hate pursuing legal options... always makes me feel like I failed to resolve the issue on my own. You could try the "sneaky" way... you and your kids go find a place, get it all in agreement, then go sign the lease together. Put them in a real bind *grins* They've already agreed to rent to you, to pull the lease out from under you just as you are about to sign just because your black partner is there would be REALLY difficult - and obvious discrimination :) Yea, that's really kind of dishonest... but hey, so is refusing to rent to you just because your partner is black! I would also suggest trying to rent from larger apartment complexes and/or corporate/chain apartment complexes. They tend to be not only more aware of the laws, but also, especially in our current economic environment, more um, well, desperate and less picky :) I know how bad that sounds... sorry... but unfortunately true. Meanwhile, I pray for your continued happiness and the best of luck! Keep looking, don't give up! And remember what my grandmother used to say: It's all mind over matter: If you don't mind, it don't matter :)
    11 answers · Marriage & Divorce · 10 years ago
  • Can I transfer out of Community college after 1 year?

    Best answer: Depending upon the university you wish to transfer to, yes, you can transfer after one year. I would suggest, however, staying for the associates degree then transfering, primarily because of the financial savings and also because many universities offer scholarships to students who transfer in with an AA degree. Check with the... show more
    Best answer: Depending upon the university you wish to transfer to, yes, you can transfer after one year. I would suggest, however, staying for the associates degree then transfering, primarily because of the financial savings and also because many universities offer scholarships to students who transfer in with an AA degree. Check with the university you wish to transfer to see if they offer any financial incentives/aid for incoming AA students. Ultimately, it doesn't really matter all that much to potential employers if you spent two years first at a community college then transferred, or only one year... what they look at is the final degree you have. Some employers actually prefer seeing graduation from a community college then graduation from a university, because some view people who successfully navigated two different school environments as more adaptable and potentially better employees!
    8 answers · Higher Education (University +) · 1 decade ago
  • What online school can i get a ged from which is accreditted with the intent of going to nursing school?

    Best answer: PBS (Public Broadcasting Stations) have a program called LitLink at http://litlink.ket.org/ which has a great deal of information and online programs for GED and GED preparation. You can use this program - which is free, unless you purchase workbooks - to prepare for the GED test. To actually get your GED you will have to go through a... show more
    Best answer: PBS (Public Broadcasting Stations) have a program called LitLink at http://litlink.ket.org/ which has a great deal of information and online programs for GED and GED preparation. You can use this program - which is free, unless you purchase workbooks - to prepare for the GED test. To actually get your GED you will have to go through a local organization in your community; you cannot take the actual test online, as the test must be given in a proctored environment. You can find GED programs in your community by talking to the nearest high school, public library and community college, or search online (try searching for GED and your city and state name). Also look for work programs, often they will cover the costs of the test for you. For example, here in Colorado Springs, the Pikes Peak Workforce has a GED program where they will pay for the tests plus give you a little bonus ($100) for passing the test. Your community may have a similar program. I recommend going through a local community program and actually attending a few prep classes through them, along with studying on your own. Most people find attending even just 3-5 classes can help them greatly, especially if it has been several years since out of school. You can prepare on your own, also, through the use of books you can find at your local library, then take the tests. Usually, you will have to pay a fee (usually under $75) to actually TAKE the tests (the GED is not just one test, it is five tests covering math, language arts, reading & writing, science & social studies). Most people take the tests over a period of several weeks or even months - there is usually no requirement to take all the tests in one single day (not to mention how exhausting it would be!) Since you wish to go to nursing school, I would suggest contacting the school you wish to attend about what score you will need to achieve on the GED tests in order to best enhance your ability to be accepted into the nursing school. Simply passing the GED test will, likely, not be enough to get into the nursing program; you will probably need to make a certain score on the GED along with taking some college level classes first ("nursing prep" track) before actually getting into nursing school itself. Here in Colorado Springs, a friend of mine is about to graduate UCCS with her Bachelors in Nursing. She took the GED seven years ago and passed it with like eight points to spare. She first attended Pikes Peak Community College (PPCC) and got her Associates degree there, just a general studies Associates degree, however, she took quite of few of the "nursing prep" classes (anatomy, chemistry, etc) while there, and highly recommends that to other students all the time. She then transferred to UCCS, spent the first 1.5 years on her required general classes, then started her Clinicals at Bethel, which after 3 years she is finishing with this May. All told, she has spent seven years from GED to graduation, pursuing her nursing degree, while working and raising a family. The one thing she told me she regrets is that she didn't study harder and do better on her GED, because if she scored higher she would have gotten an "automatic" scholarship for about $1000 at PPCC :) A final comment: The GED test is a lot harder than people realize! On average, only 57% of current high school graduates could pass it if they had to take it, so never let anyone knock you down for "only" having a GED, once you get it. Passing the GED is an accomplishment, and it is not an easy ride, but you can do it, so go for it!
    2 answers · Primary & Secondary Education · 1 decade ago
  • What the heck is going on here?

    Best answer: I would wait a few more months, using pads (ugh) to let your body get back into shape (meaning your uterus, cervix, and vaginal canal). It can take a while for things to get back into place. Meanwhile, start doing some Kegal exercises and walk as much as you can. Search "Kegal" online to learn how to do them. show more
    Best answer: I would wait a few more months, using pads (ugh) to let your body get back into shape (meaning your uterus, cervix, and vaginal canal). It can take a while for things to get back into place. Meanwhile, start doing some Kegal exercises and walk as much as you can. Search "Kegal" online to learn how to do them.
    4 answers · Women's Health · 10 years ago
  • Ok weird question: women, what does it feel like to have sex for the first time?

    Best answer: Easier to say what it DOES NOT feel like: It does not feel like fireworks are going off in the distance. There is no inspiring, romantic music reaching motivating heights of orchestration. It doesn't feel like the most romantic thing ever to happen in the history of mankind. It doesn't feel like you exploded into the very... show more
    Best answer: Easier to say what it DOES NOT feel like: It does not feel like fireworks are going off in the distance. There is no inspiring, romantic music reaching motivating heights of orchestration. It doesn't feel like the most romantic thing ever to happen in the history of mankind. It doesn't feel like you exploded into the very stars of heaven. It doesn't feel like much of anything, actually, except uncomfortable, potentially painful, awkward, embarrassing, and kind of a real let-down. I know the first time, I swear, I sat up thinking, "Is that all there is?" I really didn't understand what the big deal everyone made about it... I was really disappointed. In other words, it does NOT feel ANYTHING like they show on TV and the movies. But over time, with the right loving, caring partner, and lots of foreplay, it gets better, a LOT better. TV, movies, and those silly romance novels all make it out to be this incredible experience, but honestly, sex is like any other thing in life: You have to learn how to do it right. That means, you have to learn patience, you have to learn how your body reacts, what it likes and dislikes, and how to not make weird farting noises with your stomachs when you are all sweaty :) I didn't actually feel any pain, but many do, and I understand it's a brief sharp pain, followed by more like an achy, muscle pain, you know like when you work out too hard that kind of pain.
    6 answers · Women's Health · 10 years ago
  • Am i too skinny? And how do i gain weight?

    Best answer: You are at a healthy height/weight/age ratio - a little on the low side, but very much in the healthy range. You are also just barely in puberty. Your body will fill out over the next year or so quite naturally :) Don't worry about it :) The most important question to ask isn't if you weigh too much/too little, but how do... show more
    Best answer: You are at a healthy height/weight/age ratio - a little on the low side, but very much in the healthy range. You are also just barely in puberty. Your body will fill out over the next year or so quite naturally :) Don't worry about it :) The most important question to ask isn't if you weigh too much/too little, but how do you FEEL. Do you feel healthy? Do you have enough energy? Is your mood usually good? Are you happy - despite people teasing you about being skinny? Or are you tired all the time? Then you are probably not eating healthy enough. Meanwhile, tell those people who tease you about being too skinny the following: "Hey, I may be skinny, but I can always gain weight. You'll never gain a personality" :)
    15 answers · Diet & Fitness · 10 years ago
  • What to eat when you don't eat fruit and vegetables><><><><>?

    Best answer: This question is RIGHT up my alley!! I've the same problem - I'm deathly allergic to the overwhelming majority of fruits and veggies. I can not eat ANY fruit at all if it is raw. If they are cooked (like banana cake and applesauce) then I can eat small amounts. The only veggie I can eat is corn and potatoes. I try to... show more
    Best answer: This question is RIGHT up my alley!! I've the same problem - I'm deathly allergic to the overwhelming majority of fruits and veggies. I can not eat ANY fruit at all if it is raw. If they are cooked (like banana cake and applesauce) then I can eat small amounts. The only veggie I can eat is corn and potatoes. I try to eat sweet potatoes whenever I can, but I honestly just don't like the taste very much. My throat and mouth begin to swell up whenever I eat more than a bite or two. I've had more than a few close calls with a tracheotomy in my life. Yet, according to the doctors, my blood counts and all are in perfectly normal ranges. And I've lived a long time like this - I'm 43, and a lot healthier than some of my 30 year old friends. My bone density is perfectly normal - actually a bit higher than the average 43 year old. What do I do? Well, I take a good-quality multi-vitamin every day. I eat a LOT of whole grains. I eat a lot of dairy products. I eat a LOT of fish - I love fish! All kinds!! And I eat some beans, usually small amounts at a time because they always knot my stomach up. The small amount of fruit and veggies I can eat, I do eat. Like a cup of applesauce a day. I go for a walk every day. Dairy products, walking, and weight-bearing exercises can help keep your bones very strong. I suggest you go see an allergist - you may have some food allergies that actually could be treated. Hope this helps!
    3 answers · Diet & Fitness · 10 years ago
  • Afterwards : Am I Overweight? Risk of eating disorder Relapse?

    Best answer: Okay, at 5'7" and 130ish, you have a BMI (body mass index) of right around 20, which is right smack dab in the middle of the BMI range you should be. In other words, you are at a IDEAL, healthy weight. Congrats! That's GREAT! Now, remember, at 13, you are still growing and developing. Don't worry so much about... show more
    Best answer: Okay, at 5'7" and 130ish, you have a BMI (body mass index) of right around 20, which is right smack dab in the middle of the BMI range you should be. In other words, you are at a IDEAL, healthy weight. Congrats! That's GREAT! Now, remember, at 13, you are still growing and developing. Don't worry so much about how you look - your body is going through some strange chemical reactions called "puberty" right now. But at the same time, you CAN do some simple things to help tone yourself up, without feeling like you are killing yourself with exercise :) If you have a pool available, go swimming! It is EXCELLENT way to tone up, and it's fun! Go ride a bicycle, and especially, go for a nice long walk every day. If you have a dog, go for a walk with the dog. Your dog will worship the ground you walk on! :) Ask your parents, especially your mom, if she would go for a walk with you. It's a great way to tone up and help develop strong bones, and at the same time, it's awesome "alone" time with your Mom, when you can talk with her and grow closer. Do some easy abdominal exercises. Lay flat on the floor. With your knees slightly bent, lift up your legs SLOWLY, to a height about 6-8" off the floor. Hold them there as long as you can. SLOWLY lower them. Rest for a minute, repeat. Do not let your lower back curl or lift off the floor. Keep your head flat on the floor. When you are watching TV on the couch, suck your tummy in during the commercial breaks. Hold it in as long as you can, relax it (not too fast, kinda slowly let it out.) Repeat throughout the commercial break. Do this every commercial break - no fast forwarding! Yoga. Pilates. Both awesome exercises that don't require breaking a sweat, plus they help improve your balance, your emotional mood, and create an atmosphere of self-relaxation that will do wonders for your mood. Borrow a few videos from the library first and give them a try before you buy one. There are many different methods, you may need to try a few before you find one you like. Make sure you are eating healthy, and take a good quality multi-vitamin every day. Your body may be over-reacting to the malnutrition it suffered for so long, and be trying to make up for lost time :) A good quality multi-vitamin can help balance out your diet and your body's reaction. I hope this helps!
    3 answers · Diet & Fitness · 10 years ago
  • Are there any 40+ unmarried men left in the USA, interested in dating a 40+ unmarried woman?

    Best answer: Of course there are. Granted, they probably have a lot of baggage, children, ex's, credit card bills... but they do exist :) Seriously, the best way to find them is to get INVOLVED. Go to your favorite church, especially if they have a single's group. Join clubs that interest you - that way you will find other people who... show more
    Best answer: Of course there are. Granted, they probably have a lot of baggage, children, ex's, credit card bills... but they do exist :) Seriously, the best way to find them is to get INVOLVED. Go to your favorite church, especially if they have a single's group. Join clubs that interest you - that way you will find other people who share your interests. Let your friends introduce you to the single men they know. Volunteer at your local charity, hospital, DAV, etc. Get involved in the world more, and you will find many good people out there. Even if you don't find a guy to date, you'll find lots of good friends.
    12 answers · Singles & Dating · 10 years ago
  • Ive been in a relationship with a married guy for over 3 years, his wife found out, where will I stand?

    Best answer: "his wife found out, where will I stand?" The same place you've allowed yourself to stand for the last four years: Absolutely nowhere. Hon, you have NO standing. NONE. You are NOT his wife. You will never be his wife. Even if he left her, he would end up leaving you too, he won't marry you. Why would he marry... show more
    Best answer: "his wife found out, where will I stand?" The same place you've allowed yourself to stand for the last four years: Absolutely nowhere. Hon, you have NO standing. NONE. You are NOT his wife. You will never be his wife. Even if he left her, he would end up leaving you too, he won't marry you. Why would he marry someone that slept with a married man - even if that married man was him? And even if he did marry you, HE WOULD CHEAT ON YOU!! Because you already ACCEPT him as a cheater! Because he IS cheating on you. Every minute he spends with the wife is cheating on you. Think of it that way. "He told me that he's not sleeping with his wife anymore." He's lying. Odds are good if he wasn't sleeping with her, he'd have left her... or she him. And she would not have reacted the way she did. His wife actually reacted far more reasonably than many wives would. Frankly, if I were in her shoes, I'd have gone right up to your face and shamed you, calling you a slut, hussy, whatever. But I'm not her... and you need some real-world advice: DUMP THE BASTARD. Right now. Do not go back to him. Never talk to him. He's already changed jobs, so you don't have to see him at work. Time to move on and get on with your own life. You deserve a man of your own, not someone you have to share! You deserve to BE the wife, NOT the sloppy-seconds mistress! You deserve to be HAPPY, supported, and in charge of YOUR OWN LIFE. There ain't no way the "sleeping together" could ever be good enough to put up with this level of humiliation, disrespect, lying, cheating, and emotional theft. Because other than sex, that's all he's giving you: disrespect, lies, cheats, and theft of your own emotional health and well-being. You deserve better. Move on.
    25 answers · Marriage & Divorce · 10 years ago
  • Just split from hubby parental help please?

    Best answer: Talk to a lawyer, child advocate, the courts, child welfare officer, etc. Taking your child to the pub in and of itself is probably not something they are going to worry about much... but DRIVING the kids home after he's had a pint or two would be of very big concern. Meanwhile, talk to him AND his mum and gently, calmly, and... show more
    Best answer: Talk to a lawyer, child advocate, the courts, child welfare officer, etc. Taking your child to the pub in and of itself is probably not something they are going to worry about much... but DRIVING the kids home after he's had a pint or two would be of very big concern. Meanwhile, talk to him AND his mum and gently, calmly, and reasonably explain how while you respect that his time with the children is HIS time, it really bothers and worries you that the children are being exposed to the pub life, how it concerns you that this is a negative impact on their health and welfare, and that as the good father and grandmother that they are, surely they can agree with you that it is in the children's best interest to not go to the pub. Stay calm and gentle, but firm, and spin it to the welfare of the children as much as possible. After all, any good father wouldn't want his children to be put at risk, now, would they? :)
    3 answers · Marriage & Divorce · 10 years ago
  • My husband locks away all the deliciously irresistible snacks inside a large tool box so I can't eat any of...

    Best answer: Yikes! Control freak!! That would scare the heck out of me, honestly! Okay, the real question is this: Are you breast feeding? If so, breast feeding burns up more calories than just about anything - go search on breast feeding and calories on the net, and you'll see what I mean. The cool thing about breast feeding is it can... show more
    Best answer: Yikes! Control freak!! That would scare the heck out of me, honestly! Okay, the real question is this: Are you breast feeding? If so, breast feeding burns up more calories than just about anything - go search on breast feeding and calories on the net, and you'll see what I mean. The cool thing about breast feeding is it can help you return to your pre-pregnancy weight remarkably fast, meaning you can eat more than you could if you aren't breast feeding. Second, your husband is being CRUEL. If you can't have those snacks, they should NOT BE IN THE HOUSE! He can't have them, either! What a cad! Third, it's only been eight weeks! Losing weight after pregnancy takes TIME! You just carried and gave birth to his daughter! That's an immense amount of work, stress, and worry - he needs to respect that gift of life you brought into the world and worship the ground you walk on. You will get to your desired weight when it is healthy for you to do so - on average, about 6 to 12 months after birth. For him to start restricting your diet only 2 months after birth is ridiculous, for him to expect you to be some sort of ideal skinny body is downright insensitive. Go do some research on after-pregnancy weight loss and exercise and get some medical facts to back you up. In the meantime... take your lovely new daughter for a walk in her stroller every day. The fresh air and walking is not only enjoyable and healthy, but a great way to help get back into shape.
    11 answers · Marriage & Divorce · 10 years ago
  • I don't know how to approach this, can anyone help me?

    Best answer: It sounds like he IS becoming your father. And honestly, I'd start worrying that YOU are becoming your father. Drinking the way you are both drinking, and ESPECIALLY fighting over drinking, are huge warning signs that you both have a problem. Follow the advice already stated here, a lot of good advice here already, and... show more
    Best answer: It sounds like he IS becoming your father. And honestly, I'd start worrying that YOU are becoming your father. Drinking the way you are both drinking, and ESPECIALLY fighting over drinking, are huge warning signs that you both have a problem. Follow the advice already stated here, a lot of good advice here already, and also, I suggest going to some AA meetings, and also, some Al-Anon meetings. You are the child of an alcoholic who is already questioning their own drinking. You are at the point where it is still relatively easy to make the decision how you want to live the rest of your life: sober and controlling the occasional drink, or like your father with the drink controlling him. The fact that you are turning to drinking when you are sad is a REALLY big warning sign that you are on the verge of alcohol becoming a problem in your life. My grandmother used to say something that will always stick in my head: Ain't nothing wrong with getting drunk every now and then, but there's something really wrong with getting sober every now now and then.
    11 answers · Marriage & Divorce · 10 years ago
  • I dont Know what to do concerning this divorce?

    Best answer: Okay, I don't know much about the culture you come from, but isn't there some sort of "norm" that requires your husband to properly protect, support, and take care of you, as your husband and head of your home? I would look to your own culture and religion for guidelines - I'm sure they are there - that would... show more
    Best answer: Okay, I don't know much about the culture you come from, but isn't there some sort of "norm" that requires your husband to properly protect, support, and take care of you, as your husband and head of your home? I would look to your own culture and religion for guidelines - I'm sure they are there - that would support your contention that he needs to put his wife and child first, while at the same time, respect his father. There needs to be a balance, and that is the way I would suggest approaching this with your husband. Don't denigrate him for wanting to respect and honor his father, but do remind him of his duty to respect and honor his wife and family. Think outside the box: The next time his father needs someone to take care of him, YOU go and take care of him! Tell your husband that, as a woman, it's your job hehehe... this might have the added benefit of giving you and your father-in-law some time to get to know each other better, and perhaps even grow to respect, if not like, each other. Don't try to drive a wedge between him and his father - you will lose - but do try to use their unbalanced relationship to your own advantage. That isn't as manipulative as it sounds: Tell your husband what a wonderful son he is, that his father must really appreciate all that he does ... this might sow a seed of doubt in his mind... does my father appreciate all that I do? That kind of thing. I would suggest counseling, but I suspect your husband would not go for it. He probably doesn't see this as a problem, or as wrong, but as his duty. Remind him of his other duties!
    3 answers · Marriage & Divorce · 10 years ago
  • Complicated family drama?

    Best answer: Okay, am I understanding this right? Her MOM is pressuring her to BREAK A COURT ORDER? Is that correct? Um... Mom, get real! This is her wedding, and if she wants the cousins to be there, then they should be there, and the one who has the no contact order should stay away. She should use the fact of that court order to support... show more
    Best answer: Okay, am I understanding this right? Her MOM is pressuring her to BREAK A COURT ORDER? Is that correct? Um... Mom, get real! This is her wedding, and if she wants the cousins to be there, then they should be there, and the one who has the no contact order should stay away. She should use the fact of that court order to support her decision. She wants you and the cousins there, so you should be there. Her Mom should KNOW better than to push this issue. Shame on her!
    2 answers · Marriage & Divorce · 10 years ago