How is OCD affecting my relationship with Jesus?

Question

This is a little embarrassing, so you may laugh, or you may have pity- doesn't matter.
Well I have OCD a mental illness (severely) and have A LOT of its symptoms sadly, and I have really terrible and severe blasphemous thoughts about the God that I prayed and I've gone into depression and not eating much and afraid to go to sleep. I let this mental illness draw me farther from God because of what I felt. Although I thought the blasphemous thoughts, though I never spoke them.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrusive_thoughts#Blasphemous_religious_thoughts
I worry a lot, which is a sin. And I have fear that I blasphemed because I have all of the experiences under it. And a lot of people say blasphemy is not ever accepting Christ into your life, and if i'm worried about it i didn't do it. Its on my mind from the time I wake up, until the time I sadly lay my head. I think God doesn't forgive me for having the horrible intrusive thoughts and I have fear that I disrespected him (Is sin disrespectful to God?) I am really young and not eating and sleeping or going outside much. I don't remember the last time I did. I know God is an understanding God but I cry about it and just wish it would go away! My step father said I didn't blaspheme, my friends, and good close adults tell me that God will forgive me and gave me their number to talk about anything but i am sad, and wondering how actually can He forgive me?
I had a good relationship with God. I FELT him there with me always. And no one could tell me he wasn't. I know God is real and I just need him. And I feel Satan is trying to tear down a good person I was.

Additional Details

@castoe - Psalms 14:1 "The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good."

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Voters

God would never judge you because of your illness. You cant always help it when you have OCD. He loves you. I pray that you can solve your OCD issues in the near future. I have OCD too. Its cleaning for me. I clean and wash my hands constantly. Try behavioral therapy or medication.

Answer 2

Obsessing about sin is letting the sin control you. In Jesus we are free to let all of that go, you don't have to understand it. I don't fully understand it either, I just know that our Lord wants us to live in freedom from fear and death.

Answer 3

It's your choice to be a good or bad person.
God and Satan have nothing to do with it as they are just imaginary.
Trust yourself to be good and you'll be OK

Answer 4

You can't help you have a sickness. It isn't something you should beat yourself up over. God loves you and accepts you as you are. period.

Answer 5

How is your stupidity effecting your relationships with humans?

Answer 6

There's no such thing as God.

Answer 7

we go to jesus as imperfect

Answer 8

do not give up(thats true,satan will try to take u down) just put all to the Lord Jesus,
isaiah 1:18-“Come now, and let us reason together,”
Says the LORD,
“Though your sins are as scarlet,
They will be as white as snow;
Though they are red like crimson,
They will be like wool.
revelation 2:10-‘Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to cast some of you into prison, so that you will be tested, and you will have tribulation for ten days. Be faithful until death, and I(Jesus) will give you the crown of life.

Source(s):

holy bible