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I have to agree alot with curious george, u have to look at the big picture and how he treats u overall and did he watch porn before your pregnancy. One thing I know and thats how a man thinks because I now have been married for 25 yrs and my husband was open enough to tell me exactly how a mans thinks. First, men are visual and believe it or not, they love to know that their woman enjoys the sex with them. They have got to know that she craves them and much as he craves her. Why do u think that the female in ALL porn flicks is going crazy with the man, it feeds his ego. LOL And they are verbal and wants u to be verbal also, so u need to tell him at times how it feels along with the moans and groans, etc. Again, big in porn flix. Get it now.
And the weight gain definately will play alot into this. How do u dress now that u have had a child? Have u let yourself go even though u have gained weight? I went thru that myself, well I never had any children but I did have weight gain and all I heard was the horrible comments about my weight. Once I dropped it, I began to care about my appearance more and I couldnt even wear jeans without him having his hands all over me. That was after 20yrs of marriage, so the attraction will still be there. One time while in bathing suit, sitting by my pool, my husband came out and took a picture of me and got sexually excited, this was 3 yrs ago. LOL.
I know that motherhood takes alot out of a woman, we have enough on our plate as it is and now have to devote majority of our time to children and pushing husband last. Thats a definate no no. I suggest you start taking a little time to yourself, take more effort to your appearance, do something to drop the weight, (I know u hate to hear that but remember, men are visual), and catch him by surprise, if u know what I mean. And while making love, try being a little more aggressive. This may work or it may not, u will never know unless u try. But its up to you to make the change.
Do not leave him because of this. Make every effort to make this marriage work but dont just lay there like a lump on a log. Also about the porn, honey, i cant say much there because majority of men will watch porn and then turn to the wife. Dont feel used, he still loves u Im sure. You need to start enjoying the sex and dont worry about him. In the heat of the moment, grasp his face and TELL HIM TO LOOK AT YOU. He will. LOL
Soooooooooo, all I can say is what I was told by my sister-in-law when I got married:
A perfect wife is a hostess in the living room and a whore in the bedroom.
Oh and BTW, I am 54 and my husband is 73. Up to two yrs ago, we had an active sex life and he never once used male enhancements. Of course, this has stopped now due to an operation he had but again I am trying to tell u that it is up to the female to keep him desiring her and her alone.