Please give me advise on my annoying partner!?

Question

This might seem stupid but it is really getting me down, any suggestions please (obviously sensible ones) let me know them. Right, I moved in with my partner two years ago. We started decorating last year but due to financial difficulties this came to a standstill or is moving very slowly, anyway, the problem is, my boyfriend smokes in the sitting room. I also smoke but stand at the back door. The only decent thing in my house at the moment with it being upside down is my settee, its a very expensive posh settee made from material as opposed to leather. So, my settee now stinks of cigarette smoke. i have tried everything to stop him from doing this, for example, ask him, beg him, nag him, shout at him, hide our ashtray as he takes this into the sitting room with him (doing this he then uses cups or glasses which is disgusting and worse) and hiding his cigarettes which also doesn't work. Any suggestions please let me have them.

Additional Details

oh and he doesnt work so he sits there all day while i am at work playing on his xbox and smoking!

Answer 1

The disregard for your feelings shows a lack of respect and it should be nipped in the bud. You need to have a serious chat about it. Explain how this may seem trivial to him but is very important to you. Is there a compromise you can make? Why does he insist upon smoking in that room? The two of you might talk through it and find an alternative place for him to smoke.

Its all about respect.

Sign in to vote!

Answer 2

Withhold sex, it' the only way short of turfing him out

Sign in to vote!

Answer 3

Demand he pays for the cleaning of the settee. He wont do it again after it pinches his pocket.

Sign in to vote!

Answer 4

air cleaners, many on the market, buy 2, one for each side of your posh settee, dont let smoke ruin your life, or get a cover and remove when company comes over.

Sign in to vote!

Answer 5

invite me round whe hes at work ill **** you on the settee then you can smile to your self when he does it

Sign in to vote!

Answer 6

Move the furniture out of the room.. make your sitting room a "sitting on the floor room" or a "standing room" for a while. If he is not comfortable inside, then he would have no reason to stay in that room to smoke. Or, you could always kick him out...

Sign in to vote!

Answer 7

i used to be a smoker so i understand, it aways made me mad if someone said something about my cig, if he pays on the rent then he can smoke any were he wants.

Sign in to vote!

Answer 8

Well--to be honest--its too late--you tried everything short of gunplay. You can either forget that silly furniture--OR--throw him out!! What else is there?? Move the settee to another room--give him a crummy sofa. This guy is a man who has to WIN--so this future life you hope to have will probably suck--you better reconsider your relationship with him. Good luck

Sign in to vote!

Answer 9

Quit smoking and encourage him to quit with you

Sign in to vote!

Answer 10

move out and see each other when you all need to be happy

Sign in to vote!

Answer 11

I don't allow anyone to smoke in my home. If they should happen to light up, I'd grab the cigarrete from them, smash it and go off on them.

Sign in to vote!

Answer 12

well, i go through this one as well..here's what I do...leave windows open and deep clean all the time..or you could ***** about it.

Sign in to vote!

Answer 13

1. Take him to a Psychotherapist. It is not the smoking. Smoking and not respecting your requests are just the symptoms of the underlying mental issues he is facing.
2. If he doesn't go to a Psychotherapist- throw him out of your life. A person who has no regards for others, but is selfish, is not worth living with.

Best wishes.

Sign in to vote!

Answer 14

calmly explain WHY it is that you don't want him smoking on the settee and that you would appreciate it very much if he would join you at the back door to smoke. i have learned that guys always need to know WHY. and they need it clearly told in their face and the TV has to be turned off or they don't hear you at all. good luck!
(btw, smoking kills)

Sign in to vote!

Answer 15

Thats not really fair, he should be smoking outside like you do. The first thing visitors in your house will notice is the smell of smoke and you dont want that do you.
He really needs to respect you and respect the cleanliness of your house!
I would keep telling him!

Sign in to vote!