My girlfriend wants to smoke weed but I don't want her too.?

Question

My girlfriend and I have been going out for 6 months now. We are both 18 and in college. She wanted to go out with me in the first place and stopped smoking cigarettes and weed for me because I don't want to date a smoker. Ever since I have been so grateful and appreciative of what she's done for me. I make it my goal to make her happy and love her very much.
Now she recently tells me she misses smoking weed and wants to start with her friends again because they all do it.
I'm not going to be the guy to tell her she can't do that because she is her own person. I just know I won't be able to handle going out with her if she started smoking again.
Please help. I don't know if I'm over-reacting or what I should do.

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

Okay.
Im this girls best friend.
And because she told me NOT to go off on her boyfriend I wont.
I would just like to say she is a grown women.
Who will make her own descions.

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

thank you

Answer 2

listen bro, tell her she doesnt have to smoke just cause her friends are and if she really wants to she can but try to lay low on it especially when shes with you and maybe you can work something out like that and just let her know that you love her and you dont wanna see her have lung problems and **** from smoking.

Source(s):

my friend had a smoking problem and i wanted him to stop so he wont hurt himself

Answer 3

personally, i would never ever date a smoker i think it's disgustingng

and, no you are not over-reacting

just simply don't have a problem with it, let her, but when she leans in to kiss you, just say 'as long as you smoke, im not going to kiss you'

then she will get the message

and really smoking isn't good for anyone, say you care about her, about her health too.

Answer 4

Obviously your slightly controlling. If she stopped for you in the first place, and now your saying if she does this act, than you'll break up with her. That is controlling. Your in college. What are the chances your going to marry her. Break it off if you can't handle that. Cause she won't have a problem finding someone else.

Answer 5

smoking weed isnt a bad thing, so i dont get why you wouldnt be able to handle it. she'll just be high somedays for like 6 hours or so or whatever it is, so i think your over reacting, if its something she wants to do, then ohh, welll, you should support her in whatever she wants to do.
if you leave the relantionship because of her smoking weed, then that would be dumb.
buut its your choicee(:

Answer 6

You need to be clear with your girlfriend about where you stand. In this case, tell her how her smoking weed will affect you. At the same time, also tell her that you respect her as an individual and therefore will not forbid her to do anything. It's just that your girlfriend needs to know the possible consequences to her action.

Answer 7

Just talk to her about it. If you say that you don't think you could handle dating her while she is smoking she might decide the relationship is more important then weed. If she chooses it over you then she isn't worth it.

Bella

Answer 8

tell her yes she can and set it up then when she is smoking call the cops so she canb go to jail then don,t bail her out and call her mother and father and let them know that their pot head is in jail

Answer 9

i tuned 20 on nov 4th and i dont date smokers or drug users of any kind


just do what i do and make threats like i am gonna have to break up with u if u dont stop hahah it works for me ... or so i think

Answer 10

If you love her enough you'd try to convince her not to, OR you would just love her for the way she is.

But if you really cant handle it then id say dump her.

Answer 11

Just calmly tell her how you feel about her smoking.
She can do whatever she wants, but just tell her you're worried about her health, because weed is bad for you.

Answer 12

date someone that has the same morals as you and this problem will never come up again.

Answer 13

It's her choice...let her make it and deal with the consequences - even if that means breaking up. It's a lesson she may need to learn...

Answer 14

Maybe you should try smoking pot yourself before you get all down on it. Just because it's illegal doesn't mean a thing.

Answer 15

just tell her she can.
tell her to keep it between her frinds and not around you.
im sure she will understand where your coming from!

Answer 16

u know that she used to smoke and ure the one who could change her . why dont u work on it again.?..

Answer 17

tell her to smoke crack and possibly lsd...

Source(s):

doctor

Answer 18

Respect her and yourself... end the relationship... you both dont agree on a serious matter which will push one of you to not trust the other........

Answer 19

u not overated u do that because u like her

Answer 20

Tell her exactly what you said here, maybe it will get through to her.

I wish you the best of luck !

Answer 21

the if you do 't believe in it brake up

Answer 22

either let her or leave her

up to you

x

Answer 23

what's the big deal? are you straightedge? deal with it or leave. geez.

Answer 24

It's good that you know what you want (and don't want) out of a relationship. You make the rules when it comes to your life. This woman also makes her own rules. You must accept her choices as much as your own. It would be a mistake to try and change anyone.

I would re-evaluate your feelings about weed. It has been taboo for many years, and carries a negative image mostly due to bad information. In many cultures (such as your woman's circle) weed is perfectly normal and acceptable.

Answer 25

I see where you coming from. You seem like a good guy, especially since is always the other way around.

Is really her decision and choice for her, I'm sure you informed her about it. I'm certain you told her how you feel but you know how it is with friends and so on. Whether she missed it or not is open to interpretation but you should talk to her if it bothers you. Don't let drugs spoil your relationship, for some couples they keep a balance but for others, they have complications.

Just talk to her, I'm sure you understand what you gotta do. She'll listen, especially since she already did in the first place.

People do react and act differently when they start doing drugs, any kind of drug. I see where you coming from so try to talk to her. I doubt she won't listen to you. Just make sure you both are on the same page.

Answer 26

NO! your def. not,
If she gave it up for you then she needs to stick to it. once she starts that again it will only hurt you and ruin your relationship. Me and my ex recently broke up and one reason is that he hates the way i act when i get drunk but i love to drink and i gave it up after the first time i got drunk and he got upset then after about 6 months i talked to him about it and i got drunk again, i was horrible that night and he lost all his trust in me but he still took me back. Now after we broke up, he's told me that thats one reason he wont give me another chance.
Tell her this, its a relationship ruiner
DONT LET HER!

Answer 27

Well, this is one of those situations where you need to figure out what your boundaries are. So, if your goal is to make her happy, then if tokin' weed makes her happy, you gotta go with it. As you say, you realize she is her own person, so if she is going to choose to toke, you'll need to be your own person and decide if this is an issue you can live with.and if you can't handle it, then its a matter of where are your priorities? Maybe it could be time for a break to see whats more important for both of you. The 6 month mark in a relationship is generally that point when all the rainbows and hearts and flowers starry eyed sugar stuff is waning, and mutual respect is waxing (if a relationship is going to make it long term, that is). Examine yourself and figure out why you are dead set against the weed. From that point on, it's a matter of personal boundaries, and if she wants to smoke weed, and you've already made your position clear then making her quit for you will only create resentments down the road as she'll feel its manipulation and control by you. If you try to look past it, especially if this was agreed upon from Jump Street, then she went back to it, you'll resent that fact too, and by the way, understandably.

Just to let you know, I've been tokin' since the early '70's. A few years back, DH stopped for job purposes, but I still like to get a buzz. For us it's just a matter of individual preference, and it doesn't make a difference as far as our relationship goes, but that's us. We were already together for 20 years before it became a matter of she does, he doesn't.

As you are still in college, and things are very different now than they were in the '70's. In today's job market, her tokin' could severely limit her job prospects. Back in the day, companies that hired were'nt interested in what you did on your own time, but in today's job market prospective hires are generally expected to pass drug tests. These are all considerations that are important, and your future could literally go up in smoke...and if you throw in someone getting busted and having a record for a narcotics charge, that can screw your future job prospects too.

Time for an honest discussion between you, examine your individual priorities and if hard decisions need to be made, then now is the time to make them. You are both very young, so you want, and need to experience life. You'll either accept it and move on together, or it could be one of those deal breakers and if so, then you just have to move on.