I need help from some one good with putting words together please.?

Question

I am writing a introduction and know what I want to say but awful putting what I want to say into words I need help, will some one take these words and put them into words for me? I am writing an introduction on motor scooter here what I wrote but words need to be put into better words.


Intro: Gil Hoffstedt and his daughter Hannah were inspired in 2008 to create a Commuter Scooter, originally created to get Jill around the L.A. traffic. Gil Hoffstedt fashioned a Scooter out of a minicar using a third wheel for additional balance and to create an interior space. Beginning as a subscription rental service that grew into monthly subscription service which adults can use by the hour or the day, week or month. Beginning financed through bootstrapping methods: credit cards, family, second home mortgage. At the end of 2008 Gil and Hannah entered the market with 20 scooters but the increase has been steady in demand.

Answer 1

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Nothing wrong with that. Maybe some misspellings, but that's ubiquitous these days. Have a little confidence in your ability.

Answer 2

Your composition says it all.

I would suggest, though: 'The rental service soon grew into a monthly subscription service enabling members to use the Commuter Scooter by the hour or the day, week or month. The project was initially financed by credit cards, loans from family members and a second mortgage.'

Can't see any spelling mistakes.