How do you get over your low self esteem and feelings of low self worth?

Question

I'm 17 years old. Growing up, I was bullied everyday. Basically it was because I was known as 'the smart girl who never said anything'. was really dorky looking. I was a walking target for being picked on.

I was even bullied physically. I had such low self esteem that I didn't even stand up for myself. There were times where I would come home from school and cry my eyes out and make excuses the next day so I wouldn't have to go to school. I may sound whiney to you but if you get bullied and tormented EVERY SINGLE DAY OF YOUR DAY, it HURTS and changes you!

It's not like that anymore. I was obviously affeted. I feel like I'm different from everyone aorund me. I don't even bother talking to people that are different from me because I think that they wouldn't want anything to do with me.

I even feel the same way when it comes to dating. I don't even want to bother with guys because I think that no guy would ever want to love me. I have such low self confidence that I can't even look an attractive guy in the eye. I don't want to end up being the 40 year old virgin because of this.

I get compliments from people saying that I am beautiful, gorgeous, hot, nice body, lovely blue eyes, etc. I am such a low self esteem coward that I can't even accept their compliments. I can't thank them because I don't feel that way about my self. I feel like a brat for not being able to say 'thanks'.

HELP?!

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

So sorry to hear that you have been bullied. The sad thing is that negative things are easier to believe than positive things.

The ONLY way that you are going to build up your confidence and self esteem is by changing your way of thinking about you. You are going to have to STOP believing all the negative stuff and start to believe positive healthy things about yourself.

I'm not saying become arrogant, what I am saying is having an ACCURATE self appraisal.

It seems a lot of people are saying some lovely things about you and the first step is to learn to say thank you, [never say 'I'm not i'm horrible] and then believe it!

But the real battle is in your own mind. Only you can change you. I've been there myself and it is really hard so I'm not going to underestimate that it may be a long and even difficult journey to a healthy self image, but nevertheless IT IS POSSIBLE!

You are only young and have your whole life ahead of you! Dont ever let anyone else define you. You are the captain of your own ship. You are what you think, so start to think healthy accurate thoughts of yourself! You can do it! All the best x

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

ggg

Answer 2

STAY WITH PEOPLE WHO LOVES YOU AND ONLY ACKNOWLEDGES YOUR BETTER QUALITIES

Answer 3

you just have to look at urself and accept it nd if theirs sumthin 2 dont like from it change it....nd im relly sorry u had 2 go through that

Answer 4

Hi from France ♫

You just need to have more confidence in yourself Miss !

Have a great day,

Cat.

Answer 5

I can help you with this. I attended a boarding school called Horizon Academy. This school helped me a lot on my emotional issues, and i've learned a lot from it. First off, you should tell us how you FEEL. Tell us your emotions. Tell us how you feel about yourself. How does that make you feel when someone bullys you or calls you a dork/geek? You have to let us know your emotions in order for me to help.

You have self-limiting beliefs. And these self-limiting beliefs are only gonna hold you back. Thinking yourself as a loser or the dorky girl won't help you at all. You even got compliments from people saying that you're beautiful and gorgeous. Why can't you take it for what it is and accept it? Your looking at the negatives then the positives. Just because people bullied you doesn't mean you have to beat yourself up and think negatively about yourself. Focus more on the positives about you...and the people who bullied you aren't that great either because they probably felt like they needed to bully you to boost their own self esteem and they probably had some self-esteem issues of their own. Get rid of those self-limiting beliefs. I want you to name at least 10 things you like about yourself, say it out loud. You'll feel better.

Answer 6

You're beautiful no matter what, bullies only pick on those weaker because they are jealous. It sounds cheesy, but they obviously feel threatened by you. Just be confident, I was bullied a lot at 17 by a girl who was confused on who she was, so took it out on me. Just know you are you, and you will be fine. Promise.
I used to be the same way with guys, I never wanted to bother them. But just start talking to them, it's harmless. Once they get to know you it will all change. There is someone for everyone, I found the love of my life in a boy I was too afraid to talk to. Then I realized I wanted to date him, so I asked him out after talking for a while, and I did.
You deserve what you want, so go get it. Just smile, its a great start:)
Just say thank you, even if you don't agree. Its just silly manners.
When you walk down the street just think, this is who I am, I am amazing, people get out of MY way

You will be fine! Just have faith in yourself!

Answer 7

Well you've let the bullies accomplish their goal. I was always smart and antisocial (I still am) and I'd sometimes get picked on because I always have an answer. What helps me, and I guess turned me into the sarcastic as* I am today is that I would always think while they were wasting time picking on others for being better academically or even cuter (jealousy is a bit*h when someone can destroy another's confidence in themselves) I was working to secure my future. I'd be sitting at the big desk in the office with a wonderful view...and they'd be cleaning toilets and flipping burgers.

But then again, my antisocialness saves me from the droll daily life of normal society. Unlike many, I don't give a flip what others think of me. I have come to know and appreciate myself and if others dont share the same view, I don't have to hang out with them. Really kid, there's no way for me to give you advice on how to appreciate yourself. You just have to take the first step to realize your own worth and accept it, however great or small you may think it to be.

Source(s):

Knowing yourself is the first step to happiness.

Answer 8

I think it is a shame that your peers are much more immature than you. Their display of a lack of social skills is their problem more so than yours even though you have to deal with them. I have known many others like you and in your situation. While I was in school, I had the respect of all groups (jocks, geeks, etc.) because I treated everyone equally and protected those who were needlessly picked on, even physically. In your situation, it is easy to see why you or anyone would have issues! Somewhere out there is someone just like you, who has undergone the same situations. I know that if you slowly integrate yourself into some clubs or organization on campus, you will be able to meet students who would be much more understanding, mature, and less judgmental. In the same token, it would make you feel more comfortable being around others that shares similar interests. I would also suggest keeping a journal. When I was younger, I thought everyone had some sort of image problem. I wrote daily and vented via my journal. It helped me sort out personal problems and made me realize that there is always a path to changing one's low self-esteemed image. The physical attributes you have are nice, but being aloof may not be the way to go to earn notice and further respect. Who you are inside is much more important than looks. As far as the acceptance of compliments, take them as they come. Just smile and say "thank you." Don't be anything other than who you are. You will slowly come out of your shell, and soon you will be able to convince yourself what a great person you truly are. Thanks for sharing with courage and integrity.