"All your leaves are blowing in my yard!!"...?

Question

My neighbor is 65 and retired,never married nor had children.He is obsessed with his yard,and fights a battle every day against Mother Nature with his leaf blower,ride on mower,etc.It's a battle because we live in a HEAVILY forested village with 50 and 60 year old Maple trees all over the place.
I am a 44 year old divorced mom of teenagers and a 10 year old special needs son.I work and am taking one class at a time to try to get my Master's Degree.I do my yard work once a week,and keep my place very nice.I garden a lot in the growing season and gets lots of compliments on all my flowers and statuary.
Today when I came home for lunch,as I got out of my vehicle,this neighbor yelled,"You need to clean up your damn yard--all your leaves are blowing over here...and I work hard keeping my place tidy!!"
I was livid,and said nothing.(I was actually trying to talk on my cell phone to my 81 year old mother who is in the hospital!)
How would you react,if at all???

Additional Details

Apologize???For what??I just cleaned every leaf in my yard up--with my teens--on Sunday.

Cooper--he is not senile and he knows my situation.

Answer 1

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I'd tell him to take a flying leap, I'm not god noire can I control mother nature. How about all the leaves that blow from your yard into mine, I don't see you over here cleaning them up.

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Answer 2

I'd apologize, and offer out my teenagers to help him (and you) on a weekend day and clear everything up. Put those kids to work.

Answer 3

My neighbor cursed my wife and I out once for our dog walking through his yard and our dog didn't even poop in his yard. I was so upset I went to lowes and bought a huge thing of grass/weed killer, and once a night for a week i filled a large cup from the gas station and threw it in his lawn, of course he just thought it was litter from a passing car, because the death of the grass didn't happen over night, long story short that was a year and a half ago and it just now has cleared up and regrown.

Answer 4

That's tough. Perhaps he is not aware of your situation. You could be sarcastic and say "Sure thing, I'll say a prayer to the wind gods and ask that they keep my leaves away from your lawn! Have a nice day!" or you could say that you have work, children and school and that when you have time to do it you will make sure you do? Is this man going senile? If so I would probably just leave it be.

Answer 5

I'd have gotten off the phone, walked up to him and said......I hung up the phone with my sick 81 year old mother, after a hard day's WORK tome come over here and tell your nasty aѕѕ that I WORK all day, and have kids to take care of and do the best I can with my yard. I can't get out here 500 times a day and clean up every leaf that touches my yard like you do. So if it's not too much trouble, since I don't tell you how to deal with your yard, don't tell me how to deal with mine, unless you want to pay my bills and feed my kids and pay my mortgage.

I'd turn, and walk away, call my mom back and tell her that I'm sorry but there was a rampant jackaѕѕ that got loose in the neighborhood.

Answer 6

I wouldn't react at all unless he does it again then I would march over and tell him that you are a hard working single mother of three and that you are proud of your yard. Ask him if he would be willing to pay someone to come over and keep your yard in better shape. Of course he will answer no so then tell him to come on over and do it himself since he has more time than you do. Keep your voice and you temper while doing this, when most arguments are said and done the one that keeps the level head is usually the one that wins the argument (as much as an argument can be won.) Good luck : )

Answer 7

Ignore the jerk.He clearly has too much time on his hands.

Answer 8

When I calmed down, I would calmly go talk to the man and tell him that his place really looks nice and I would be happy if mine looked that good too, but I am not retired, as you are, and I can only do my yardwork once a week. You are lucky I live next to you, because have you seen that place around the corner...they only do their yard once a month or so. And have you seen that foreclosure house?

If you like the guy at all, and if you think you can trust him at all, I guess you could offer that if he wants to blow the leaves off of your yard because it is bothering him he has your permission to do that today, but that if he ever feels in the need to clean up your place to help his, he needs to speak with you first for permission.

I would have done what you did and walked away, because I too, would have been too upset to talk to him. But after I was calm, a short time later, I would have gone over to his house and had a conversation with him.

Answer 9

It's unfortunate you have to deal with a neighbor possessed with a tidy yard. My husband and I work and don't have much time to work on our yard, either. Our neighbors (all retired) have all the time in the world. Their yards are golf course green, tidy and free of leaves.

We don't have any trees on our property, but we get lots of leaves from these neighbors' yards.

They, are decent men, however. No one has complained to us about our yard. They see us working in the yard on weekends, so they know we are trying.

It's too bad you have a neighbor who isn't patient. I agree with those who say calm down, then go over and explain your situation. They are just leaves, after all. And, you have no control over the wind or Mother Nature. Your family and their needs come first.

As long as you and your teens work on the yard, there is little he should say or do. You can, as one responder suggested, ask him to help. Perhaps you can make cookies or goodies in return for his vigilance with your yard. (But do you really want this guy on your property?)

Good luck to you. You showed a lot of patience. That sets a good example for your kids, too.

Answer 10

What I actually would probably do is tell him to go f@ck himself. But what you really should do is just ignore him. He doesn't have any authority over when his neighbors do their lawn work. Or you could get back at him by waiting until all the leaves are done falling before you finish your yard work.

Answer 11

Just smile and look pretty. You have nothing to explain, and nothing to worry about. You cannot control his behavior, only your own. So just make sure your behavior is something you can be proud of.

Answer 12

In order to keep the peace - I would have just said, "Doing the best I can, Mr. Neighbor"

I wouldn't cuss or argue with him or anything like that. You will just end up making things worse.

I understand his frustration, however he chose to live in a tree filled neighborhood, so his yard isn't going to be perfect all the time.

I say just do your best to rake when you can and that should be good enough. Better yet, ask him if he will be a lamb and go ahead and use his leaf blower on your yard too!

Perhaps you could bake him a pie or cookies in exchange for him blowing your leaves. Old folks like that kind of stuff!

Answer 13

As long as you do, do your yard work once a week, he is not owed anything. Apologize? For what. His problem is with God, not you. He can not expect everyone to have the free time to work on their yards as he does! Next time he yells something at you, as he fights with the leaf that blew onto his yard, smile and wave at him and walk away.

Answer 14

If he is 65 years old, he is probably from the old school that the leaves are pretty and loves seeing them on everyone yard or the opposite. Today, People freak out. My two neighbors do! I am younger but love the colored leaves on the ground. However, I have two neighbors who do not like leaves so I clean them up! If there is a fence, you may just have to clean her leaves from your property since he/you can't jump the fence! This is what I do!

My neighbors call if one leaf falls on their property!

However, their children are loud and the yards look like Toys R Us threw up all over it! I never make a peep! Oh yes, both have dogs and the smell of poop is constant!

Answer 15

This guy needs to be embarrassed and put in his place. Here are three ways to do it:

"I am so sorry for the inconvenience, but I will remind the leaves that they must stay on my property." Then just walk away, he will be too stunned to say much of anything.

The key here is to sound like you mean it at first, then be a jerk. That jerkyness is slight but its effects are magnified when introduced with kindness. It should let him see how ridiculous his expectations are.

If he comes up to you again with this nonsense simply say.

"Those aren't coming from my yard." And walk away.

OR

You could be completely nuts. Just go crazy. Start yelling at the leaves. Pick one up and just yell at it. Like you just found out one of your sons got a girl pregnant. Be THAT angry. Tell them all how much you hate them, how embarassed you are because of them. Tell him in a sudden break of calmness that you are sorry for the way the leaves are acting. Then yell at them to all GET IN THE GARBAGE BAG BEFORE I HIT YOU OUT HERE IN FRONT OF EVERYONE.

Answer 16

I would just ignore him until the two of you can cool down. You may or may not get the chance to talk to him about it at a later time.

There's no excuse, but maybe he was having a bad day. Give him the benefit of the doubt, as we all have them sometimes