My neighbors wont stop borrowing things...help?

Question

OK I have these new neighbors that moved into my neighborhood. They have 4 kids ranging from 16 months to 8 years old. Neither parent is working right now, and they have no car.

They asked to use my cell phone the first time I met them to call for help for their mom because she as sick. So I didnt mind letting them use it.
I found out they had no food in the house either. So I contacted my church and they took food over to them to last for a bit. Other people have been bringing them food in also.
But my problem is...they ring my door bell like every 30 minutes wanting to borrow something. Can I borrow eggs, oil, milk, my sons ipod, the phone, pancake mix, bread, and this is every single day. THey have only been living there 2 weeks and this is constant from the time I get home from work until I go to bed.
I am running out of food myself because I have to keep supplying them. I am not a rich person, I live from pay check to pay check.
I dont mind helping people in need but I cant continue this.
I feel bad because they have really nothing.
They have family in the next town but they say they have no money or transportation either. How can I tell these people I want my life back without hurting their feelings?
I am about ready to scream and jerk the doorbell out of the wall.
Just last night within a 4 hour period, they came to my house like 7 to 8 times asking for stuff. Even asked if we had an extra dvd player they could borrow ,and OH my washing machine and dryer isnt hook up yet because I had to rewire my laundry room. So they asked if I could bring my washing machine and dryer over to their house so they could wash their clothes and said you can come wash your clothes here too. I said NO. I dont want to be rude but I feel I am being totally used from actually trying to be a nice person.

Answer 1

Do the same thing to them! Borrow the stuff that they have. If you do they'll understand how you feel then. My friend would always call me and text me and I started doing the same to her. After wards she didn't call me as much.

Source(s):

me! :)

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Answer 2

you seem like a very nice person and i think that is wat keeps them coming .......ur too nice lol.But honestly u may feel bad but these are not ur problems handle the problem head on and let them know this has to stop. you dont have to be rude about it but be strong and just say no if they don't like it oh well.

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Answer 3

They are taking the pizz outa you. tell them to get of their arzez and go to work.

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Answer 4

You have met a family of give-mes and manipulators. There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying no. In fact, you have to. You won't hurt their feelings because they obviously don't mind allowing you to take care of them. This is what they want - someone else to be responsible for them. I've lived next to people like that and you have to stop supporting them. They have the capabilities to make choices for themselves and their family. Tell them that you've had a major financial set-back (you have, it's them) and that you can no longer afford to do for them. Tell them you're in need as well. Tell them TODAY, not tomorrow, not next week, TODAY! Only you can stop this insanity. Believe, this is not a new tactic for them, they've done it for years because they always find someone who'll take responsibility for them. The fact that they said they want to borrow your washer and dryer but YOU can come over to use it?!?!? What? Get tough, get determined, get out of their lives - NOW!

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Answer 5

They are using you for their own personal Welfare Dept. Refer them to the food pantry or other service you have in the area. Tell them you will be moving in with them since they already have all your stuff.

I had a neighbor like this also, though not as bad. She would even borrow toilet paper right off the roll. One time she wanted to borrow our lawnmower for the umpteenth time and I said, "We're not lending it out anymore. It's on its last legs and we don't want it to break down while someone else is using it and have them have to pay for the repairs." She understood completely and, strangely enough, never asked to borrow anything again.

You sound like a nice person, and they are taking extreme advantage of you. After this, just don't answer your door when they come by. If they catch you outside, just tell them you're done, and that you will have to go on welfare if they keep borrowing. I'm sure they are laughing their heads off over all the free stuff they've managed to get out of you. They are not nice people. You should have no qualms about telling them no.

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Answer 6

Just don't answer the door

Or if your like and and wouldnt be able to look them in the eye.
Just get a friend to send them food like in a box or something and tell your friend to tell them that your a nice person who is still giving even though you barely have enough for yourself

Next call police or social services for some help 16months to 8 years is too young for them to be hungry

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Answer 7

oh gawd!.. why would they want to bring a friggen washing machine over?? i think they're setaling yer stuff!!! You should just be honest with them & say " Hey, I know you're new & everything.. but I NEED MY SPACE.. I'll talk to you later." [ wayyyyyyyyyyy later LOL ]

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Answer 8

Nip it in the bud or they will continue to take the piss as long as you allow it.

Don't feel bad they are using you they're not your responsibility.

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Answer 9

You know the saying that "no good deed goes unpunished"?

LOL, well here is your punishment for being a nice person.

OK, lets take a close look at these people shall we? Two adults neither one working. They have no pride in that they don't mind borrowing your stuff all the time. How did they get into this situation? It's probably a way of life for them. You need to tell them that they may only come over once a day to ask for something and it has to be one of the parents that does the asking (no sending one of the kids over to do it for them), this will at least slow them down and get the message across that you have about had enough.

Don't worry that you will hurt their feelings, I think these are the kind of people that use someone until that person says NO and then they move on to someone else. They expect you will say no eventually, and they will milk you for everything they can before that happens.

Time to put your foot down and set some boundaries with your new neighbors.

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Answer 10

You are too kind! Give some people an inch and they will take a mile!

In future say 'sorry I have nothing left to give' and sign off!

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Answer 11

You are being really kind. I use to have neighbors like that, I even let them run a drop cord for electricity one time. But with people like that, even though you don't want to be mean, sometimes you have to. If you want to go another route though, you could maybe suggest some places they can go for help, like social services. You could also maybe suggest a few places that maybe hiring, if any of them are willing to find a job. In my situation, none of that worked and I just had to put my foot down, because like someone already said, you give them an inch and the want a mile.

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Answer 12

Just explain to them that they are being really unreasonable to you, because your not a lending shop.
Tell them that it's got to stop because otherwise you will run out of money, and then you'll both have nothing.
Or you could do it the childish way and go round to there's every waking minute of the day and ask to borrow things...

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Answer 13

There's being nice, then there's letting people take advantage of you. Tell them you feel you've helped them out while they've settled in but they need to stand on their own feet now. Why aren't they working? Maybe you could help them find work and get the problem at the source. Good luck!

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Answer 14

First thing is first...put a 'do not disturb' sign on your door. And if they knock on it, ready to ask your for yet another free item you may have to just politley say: 'i'm sorry, this isn't a good time right now...and point to the sign'. Smile, and close the door.

It may seem a little rude, but in all honesty there behaviour is rude. I understand they need help, and your willing to give it. But they are taking advantage of you. You have to set some boundaries up...or your going to end up inheriting a whole new family. Helping those in need does not require you to sacrifice your personal sanity or space.

If they were truly gratefull for your help, I doubt they would be constantly harrassing you for more. They will never stop unless you put a stop too it. I can guarantee if you yourself fell on hard times these people would not give you one thing they had that you required.

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Answer 15

Sorry but this is tantamount to harassment ..... and yes you are being used by your own niceness. You cannot resolve this issue without 'hurting their feelings' as you say but just think of your own! You need to simply tell them that enough is enough but while you want to be a nice neighbour, you value your own privacy and peace too much to continue with their perpetual demands ,,, you are not their parent. Also I suggest that you spend more time out of the house or at least give that impression that you are not at home .... if I was you, I would be at the end of my tether.

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Answer 16

they are using you they are parasites! if they were genuine they would try to help themselves but is sounds like they are on to a good thing with you. if they were really in dire straight they wouldn't ask for thing like dvd players and tumble dryers. they are taking the micky. don't give them one more thing! they get jobseekers allowence and child benefit so they are not a poor as they are making out. they are conning you big time.

don't believe me? stop helping them for two weeks and see if they walk around naked( no washing machine) whilst they starve to death (no food) bet you they do just fine.

Good luck you sound like a lovely caring person so share you kindness with some one who really needs it.

please keep us updated this is an interesting case.

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