Which letter is better ? h/w !?

Question

Well, i had to write a letter as rita from educating rita ( the play) anyways it dont really matter if u havent read the play but i had to write a letter applying for extra education lessons, for those that dont know what educating rita its basically how a liverpool hairdresser wants to change her life for the better ! so i write 2 letters, which do you think is better ?

letter 1:
Dear Sir/Madam
I’m writing this letter applying to Open University extra education lessons on offer, it’s most probably going to be no use whatsoever as I’m not exactly your ideal type of student, which you would of probably already gathered by now! So I feel a bit pathetic for even thinking that I’d get a chance to be able to have these lessons, but I won’t know if I don’t try so why not? Looking back so far, you’d probably thrown the letter away already! I’m sorry if I mention any bad language in this letter – it’s just me, I’m always shoutin’ the odds off! People don’t usually care about the way speak because I’m that type of person, people associate bad language with! I’m not really used to writing these kinds of letters, so I apologise if its rubbish; it’s one of my first every proper letter if you call it that.

Well, I think now would be a good time tell you about myself; if you’ve read this far! I haven’t even told you my soddin’ name, what good is this letter? Anyway, my name is Susan White, well it was, c’ept I changed my name to Rita, y’know that woman called Rita Mae Brown? Well if you didn’t know her she wrote Rubyfruit Jungle – not exactly top class English in your books, but I love it, it’s fantastic y’know and I love Rita Mae Brown, so I named myself after her. I’m a 26 year old working- class hairdresser in Liverpool. I’m married to a swine of a bloke; he never listens to me I swear! I work as a hairdresser but I hate it, I’m always bloody moanin’ and whinin’ to the bleedin’ customers; they do m’ head in! Always complaining how I’ve cut their hair wrong when they effing lie to me when I ask them questions about bleaching their hair – pensioners are the worst! I don’t know why I bother sometimes – I swear they hate me, they expect too much from me; bunch of old bags! This paragraph is bloomin’ awful so I’m going to write another one about why I’m actually applying!

I’ve waffled on a bit about my effing life, bout time I told you why I’m applying aint I? Well, first of all I hate my current life, I wanna change my life for the better, this opportunity to make my chances of my dreams coming true would mean the world to me. It’s just I’ve never really ‘ad a chance like this before so I would be so ‘appy if I did. You can tell that I’m not exactly well-educated and I admit, I ain’t , I hate it that I didn’t have a chance to have a proper education when I was younger. I’m dead serious wanting these lessons; I know I sound like I’m taking the piss but that’s just because I’m not confident in writing this y’know ! Whenever, I’m nervous, I always seem to sound like I’m taking piss, so I’m sorry if I sound like that! I’m not exactly your “ideal” student for university but there’s no harm in trying, might just get a bit of luck! I would be willing to learn, I’m motivated to do this, it’s basically want I want to do; otherwise I don’t see the point do y’know what I mean? I’m willing to push myself for this so I can be a better person and have a better life! I can work hard to catch up with your “ideal” student expectations.

I think I’ve said enough now before I drift on and on about my dreary life, but I hope if you have read this entire letter than you would think about giving me a chance to decide to let me come on this course, but looking back at this dreadful letter – I don’t think I stand a chance! I’m probably going to be looking for all the luck I can get to get accepted on this course, but I hope you take me into thought.
Yours Sincerely
Mrs. S. White


or letter 2:

Dear Sir/Madam,

I apologise if this letter isn’t what you’d usually expect from a person, it’s just that I’ve never written a letter like this before. The only letters I usually write are letters to my customers; harassing them to pay the bleedin’ money I let them off from paying when they came for their haircut weeks and weeks before! And they ain’t letters her Majesty would exactly be proud of. I’m always effing this and blinding that. But right now, in this letter, I’m trying to contain my usual outbursts. But I apologise beforehand if I accidentally let slip of a word or two.

I guess I should tell you about myself; I just realised you don’t even know my name! Well, my name is Susan White, ‘cept everyone calls me Rita. Y’know, after Rita Mae Brown who wrote Rubyfruit Jungle. The book’s not exactly what you’d class as a Dickens work of art, but it’s a good book it is. I am 26 years old from Liverpool and I work as a hairdresser. Which, quite frankly, I hate. I hate how I feel like I’m wasting my life away, like everyday t

Additional Details

like everyday that goes by is another regret. I don’t wanna live like that anymore. You only live life once, and I don’t wanna spend the rest of it with a bunch of moany bags and old hags whining and groaning about how their hair is as brittle as a hay stack or that they’ve been shedding hair like a bleedin’ golden retriever! I mean, what would be the point, seriously? I’d might as well kick the bucket now because that would probably be more worthwhile.

I guess from reading this you probably think I’m some uneducated, bimbo hairdresser wasting your time with my pointless whining about how dull my life is, when really you could be reading some other persons letter who would be a lot more worthwhile than me who actually have wealth and qualifications to back them up. But I just want you to know, that I’m dead serious I am. I want this more than anything, and I can promise you that I would work my backside off to achieve the best I could possibly achieve. And okay, that might not be

Oxford or Cambridge standard but I can always try can’t I? I just really, really want this opportunity to turn my life around and make a new and better me. I can become the person you’d want to have at this University; the dead clever, motivated, and successful type of students that you have here. Because, y’know, I want that aswell.

I think I’d better end my letter now, if you’ve even bothered to read up to this point. This letter would most probably be in the bin by now, but ah well, at least I’ve tried ain’t I. However, if luck is on my side for once and you’re actually interested in enrolling me then all my details are on the other page. Thank you for your time if you’re still reading this and I hope you take me into consideration.

sorry for such a long question! thanxs in advance :)

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

The first letter is betterin my opinion

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;)

Answer 2

i think w is a better letter :]

Answer 3

I think the first one is better but they r both really good :)