I was scalping Andre Breton for money and intel...(please share your thoughts!)?

Question

I was scalping Andre Breton
For money and intel
When I woke in an angry river
Clawing for dear life
On a limb
Called Obtuse

And I couldn't see it

It spoke to me
In a snapping of twigs
It said 'I have a family'

It said
'Eliot is Obtuse
And so are Irish Catholics
In their own way'

Obtuse paused, as if to rest
Then cracked a final wooden phrase
'And never forget it
The mirage
is
Obtuse--
it hides
the sand'

I nodded
Slackened grip
Back
Into angry current

And melted

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

I believe this is the first time I have ever (seriously) disagreed with Mtheory, a poet I have come to respect. I believe poetry needs more animation, such as what I find here in your poem. There's no pretentious undertones at all - and I wish people would quit assuming as such when it comes to this particular style of poetry (and it is poetry).

Your mention of Andre Breton is skillfully slipped into the poem, and from the introduction on feels like his stern spirit has been absorbed into it. You have a randomness here, but its a pleasant, mellow randomness - the kind of randomness that would clash with any other form of poetry, most of the time.

Thanks for sharing.

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Asker's Comment:

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Answer 2

Get over your self
I guess
that is the only advice
I can offer