What's wrong with me? Is it depression? I'm not miserable... I just don't understand the point of my life?

Question

1. I've have a very good and extensive education
2. I have a good job in research. I get to pursue interesting topics and write and publish my ideas and theories.
3. I enjoy sports and arts and music and the company of friends and some members of family
4. I have a house and a car and enough material possesions to keep me happy. I'm not rich or anything but I'm not exactly poor or deprived of opportunity.

5. Without sounding too boastful, I am talented in many things, like study, music, arts, sports, general knowledge, cooking, housework, fixing stuff, communicating and socializing with people.

6. I am a male in my early 30s, fit and active and strong, reasonably attractive, with a likeable and approachable personality. I've never made any enemies!

7. I've never been in a relationship or been genuinely in love or loved by another woman. I've had two failed attempts at this. In the first instant, I simply came to the realizeation that I did not love her at all. It was simply me settling for someone because I had no one else. In the second instant I was infatuated with her but she had mixed feelings and did not know what she wanted. In the end she was reluctant to let go of her ex-partner. When I realized this I simply told her to forget about any possibility of "us"...This was over a year ago now.

As Leonard Cohen (and Jeff Buckley once sang)... "all I ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you"! (From the song Hallelujah!)

8. I do indeed have relationship problems with my parents. I never had any genuine relationship with my father. In fact he angers and disappoints me. I am genuinely saddened by his lifestyle. And whilst I'm close to my mother, there are many things that I resent about her too. Perhaps all my mental problems are rooted in this... I'm not sure?

So at this stage I feel as though I have gotten over romance relationship issues. But I think I will never get over my relationship issues with my parents.

But now the existentialist unease that had been present ever since my childhood is back. The sense that all the toiling, battle to get through my life seems to me to be rather absurd. (BTW - I'm not religious at all!)

Sure, I have good times... a lot of good times... and I am set up for a lot more joyful times... but I just can't help the feeling I have inside me... the feeling of "WHY BOTHER?"

Becuase ever since my childhood (age 13) I always wondered what I was doing here? What the point of me having this life was? And when I've always come to the conclusion that there is no point. That I would actually rather have not been born at all!

I don't think I'm suicidal, because I'm not conviced that suicide will help. It would actually make things worse! I'm still motivated to go to work and pursue my interests and meet people and date etc... But at least 2 to 3 times a week I think to myself that I would rather be out of this game... By that I mean I wish I could turn back the clock so that I was never born in the first place!

I know this is long but I just want to make sure I explain my situation in as much relevant detail as possible. I'm yet to speak to a proffessional about my feelings, but perhaps I should... i'm not sure if they can help me... nor am I convinced that I actually want help!

Can you help me explain what might be going on in me?

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

Dude I'm in my early 30's too and in very similiar situation as you but maybe worst when it comes to finding love or a girlfriend. I havent had a girlfriend in 8 years and just never could seem to find a gril that will ever give me a chance. I think of ending it all or wish I was never born too but I probably think this more throught out the day then you do. Relationship with my dad is good but I wish I could go away so I will nver see my mom again. I hate her so much. Anyways, brother I hope you really find the meaning in your life and purpose because I know its hard feeling that way. Maybe someone will come alogn in your life and will give you more meaning. For me, I'm not sure what to do also but just try to enjoy life even though inside me I'm not happy. Good luck to you man. You got it better compared to me.

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

The funny thing is that it's an never ending cycle of night and day. Dark then light, then dark, then light etc......Just when you're getting used to the dark, light appears, and just when you are getting used to light, it gets dark.

I might have it better than you, but we'll never know for sure.

Answer 2

Don't ever question your meaning in life. You were created by God who loves you so much that he died for you. And he made you to serve him and live your life for him on this earth so then when you die you will live in heaven with no pain, no suffering, and no sadness for eternity.

Answer 3

It does sound like depression. i would seek help from somewhere, and i mean that to be sincere. from reading number 8 (about your dad) and that your not religious. i would encourage you to go to Church. those who understand there purpose through Christ understand life at a different level because they understand their purpose and their purpose is living for God and understanding His joy and sharing that with others. i hope that this helps and i will be praying for you.

Answer 4

A variety of professional resources should be consulted and maybe 20% of each individual opinion be contributed toward a collective conclusion. Essentially, some soul searching, with assistance/guidance would not be a waste of time in this case.

Source(s):

life experience

Answer 5

Go to church. I know it sounds crazy but it really is that simple just go to church put your interest into God and youll notice something incredible change in your life

Answer 6

You say you are 30 yrs old and having "all of these problems" just come at you from every direction.
It also seems like you might have tooo much time on your hands (stemming from the fact you have some time to write this all out without grammatical errors).
I would say, find yourself a good counselor/psychiatrist. Sit down with him/her and talk to them about the things you are experiencing.
Nobody here is qualified to actually 'diagnose' you with something that you dont have.
Personally I think you should find a counselor, talk out your problems with them and pursue a woman free lifestyle (unless you are adamant about finding "the one").
It also sounds like youre having what many call an early mid-life crisis.
People who have mid-life crisis's have a hard time wondering where theyre going, whats their purpose here on earth.. etc.
All I can say is find a counselor and talk it out.

Answer 7

Nothing but striving for the best may be the cause of your depression because every time you may want to be better than the best. Chill out and relax.

Go out and have a vacation twice/thrice a year. Make friends both of same and opposite gender and talk to them as much as you can.

Source(s):

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Answer 8

your not jacking off enough

Source(s):

www.cheaphorsedick.com

Answer 9

i think u need to find you spiritual side. something is missing, you have all
the material stuff but no inner meaning. we are made to be spiritual beings, you wont find happiness and peace till you connect with that side of you

Answer 10

You need more love in your life. You don't have closeness with family or in a relationship and I think that kind of love is impossible to replicate with friends. I'm not saying go out and ask out the first girl that passes you by but maybe think more seriously about finding a relationship. Go on some dating websites and meet more people like yourself. Ask your friends to set you up with some friends of their's. I think love will help you realise that there doesn't have to be a purpose - the best thing in life is to just 'be'. Live life as it comes and don't think about it too much.
Of course you could go the other way and find some books about teh subject. I'm sure there are hundreds in any self help section in your local library or book store.
I do recommend seeing a psychologist - maybe they'll help you work out why you haven't got anyone special in your life. Maybe your relationship with your parents has hindered you really finding someone to love.
Good lucky.

Answer 11

Existential angst is, unfortunately, without a cure. Firstly, you would do well to come to the realisation that you are here as a result of others wanting to satisfy desires, and/or instincts and/or conforming to expectations. Or it could be an accident.

Whatever the cause, you are here now. Some people manage to find solace in religion. I have found that the best approach is to make a reasonable contribution to the society which supports you, then involve yourself in activities which you find pleasureable, interesting, or exciting.

Perform an exercise in "running back the clock", all the way from before you were born, through the emergence of proto-hominins in the giant Rift valley of Eastern Africa, through mud skipper like fish surviving attacks from predators by moving into increasingly shallower water on tidal flats, to the evolution of multicellularity, and ultimately to the first self replicating molecules which were capable of (poorly) reproducing themselves, leading to natural selection.

Then go a stage further, to the formation of the very unusual Earth/Moon dyad, the coalescence of clouds of gas and dust from 4 supernovae which occurred more than 5 billion years ago, leading eventually to the singularity (so called "big bang" - which was neither big, nor was there a bang, because there was no matter, or sound) around 12.5 billion years ago.

You may care to reverse the order, incorporating many of history's, and pre-history's turning points, and how such minor events as a grain of cosmic dust either impacting, or not impacting a meteoroid, hundreds of millions of miles away, more than 60 million years ago, at the KT boundary event cleared the ecological niches formerly occupied by dinosaurs, enabling tiny mammals to evolve into much larger forms.

The very nature of the universe in which we find ourselves appears to be within a very narrow range of parameters necessary for the possibility of life, (the anthropic principle) not to mention the "goldilocks orbit" of the Earth/Moon, in a stable part of a highly metalliferous spiral galaxy, with a massive planet like Jupiter, protecting us from frequent bombardment of comets, and meteoroids, causing mass extinctions.

The next stage is quantum probability theory, (the computer you are viewing this on works by virtue of the electron tunnelling effect, which is a quantum physics phenomenon) and the likelihood of this being just one of infinite trillions of probability worlds, each based on the collapse of the wave function in any given probability event, such as the decay of any radioactive particle at any specified time. So, what of the other versions of "you", each one slightly different, in at least a slightly different universe? Food for thought!

Answer 12

DO question the meaning of life! I believe that God is SOOO loving, he just had to create something to love. He loves you more then our puny little brains can understand. When we messed up in the garden of eden, he stepped down from his throne to become human and live sinless, to die as a sacrifice so we can still be with him. God created this world for us to explore! Money, big houses, cars, ect. will never make us completely satisfied. Only God will. Hope this helped!