Met Egyptian boy in Egypt: I'm very confused about his feelings. Help!?

Question

I just came back from 2 weeks spent in Egypt. On the ship, I almost fell for one of the waiters. At first he used to play jokes with me, but I didn't really care as he did that with all the other tourists. But he had something fascinating so that I couldn't stop observing him, the way he did things, he worked, talked to others, but still we didn't talk much (he was extremely busy and I didn't want to give the impression of "stalking" egyptian waiters while they were at work). But I managed to find some good moments to chat, even briefly. He asked me once, like for joking, if I would ever marry him later, and I said "NO!", he was embarrassed and I explained that in western countries we never get married at 19, something like that. I know it is the typical situation of western girl falling for a "pretending-to-love-her" local guy who might just want to get a visa for Europe, but the letter he wrote to me before I left revealed something strange: he said he was happy of getting to know me, that he wished he could come to France -I'm french- but it was not possible for some reasons he couldn't tell me and that he knew that we would never meet again...briefly, a nice goodbye, with no phone numbers, no email addresses, nothing. I thought "ok, he's getting married to an egyptian girl/ he's already married" blablabla. I appreciated his apparently honest words. But still, I left him my cellph number cause I couldn't stand leaving without being able to contact him later on. So we are sending some sms, not very often (due to the high tarifs and to the fact that his french and english are poor and my arabic equals to 0), the few times we've been on the phone he always said me he loved me (i guess it's the only thing he can say in english).....the fact is: is he playing with me as he might have done with others? why should he tell me that we would never meet again, leave no contact number/email address and then keep saying that he loves me? (he said "i love u" only after I answered his letter back saying I would like to keep in touch). I just want to figure out whether he is one of those "visa-catchers" or just genuine. Can't ask him this directly because the language gap between us is really huge. If you can give any advice, opinion, or just some arabic lessons I would be really grateful!

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

Im sorry to agree with someone else on here, but hes just using you. you have seen egypt for just 2 weeks, can you imagine living there? egypt is a poor country, this man is very poor as hes just a waiter, waiters, and most other low paid tourism jobs all try to get the forgien girls.. most for sex, money and visas..

They say anything to charm the girl, they dont care how old they are, what size they are, how ugly they are, as long as you are not from egypt and are from a rich country then they wil try everything to get you eating out of their palm.

Most egyptians who dont speak much english, use the word love, meaning like, they dont no love is much higher than the word like.

You 19, and from france with a little knowledge of egypt and the arabic language. Penpals is fine, just dont get too attached or be fooled to marrying him.
Getting a visa for a husband abraod is not as easy as many egyptians think, the job market tofay is very hard, and you would have to work for 6 months showing you have enough money to support your hubby and accomodation. Can you honestly do that at 19, not to mention you both CANT communicate with each other, so how is it likely hes going to get a good job to help support you lives, kids etc??

And if you thinking you move to egypt to live with him there, well, you will be running back belive me. Hes a waiter, probably lives in a very poor low social area of egypt with his entire family lviing in a small flat.
On his salary, he WONT afford a flat for you both, and I doube you will be able to work in egypt either unless you work in a school, and even then it wont be paid so much.

Hes had many many girls before you, and hes written the same letters lots of times. Dont be fooled like Ive seen so many here in egypt.

Im not saying this because Im against egyptians, or foreigners marrying, because I myself am british and married to an egyptian. I know egypt as Im living here.
just be careful.

Source(s):

A british muslim, married to an egyptian, living in saudi arabia aswell as egypt.

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

wow...almost a deep insight into an egyptian waiter's life...very complete! thank you very much...(but I swear it was not easy to vote, since there are plenty of very good answers...THANKS EVERYBODY for your advices!!)

Answer 2

try a shot of love or he just wants the papers

Answer 3

grow up quit messaging him and delete his number. You are silly for what you are doing. You will never see him again and there is no reason to spend that amount of money on nothing.

Answer 4

I think you have just met your soul-mate, don't let me put stupid adventorous and romantic things in your mind. But how do you find your soul-mate? "YOU TRAVEL"

So idk about your situation, but if you let him go, you can never find anyone else like him. That's how the soul-mate situation is, i really can't explain much into more detail, you need to follow what you want.

Source(s):

The soul-mate book

Answer 5

wow, i had similar thing, at least you met the guy in real life!! :o
well, i think he might be ok, but how do u feel about him? are your feelings strong? its hard to tell as i am trying to get similar help

i'll get back to you as i need time to think. :]

it would be much appreciated if you could answer and help, thanks
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;…

Answer 6

Oh wow :P ne c'est pas bon...well, it sounds like you both are pretty interested, but because of the language gap and living in different countries you guys didn't take it anywhere. I think that maybe you should learn some basic Arabic to try to talk to him more throughly, and use a translator to ask how he really feels. Try to keep in mind that your cultures are completely different

Answer 7

I think when he tells you he loves you he means it genuinely...
The way he said to you that you couldn't see each other again makes it seem that he really does WANT to see you again, but for some reason he cant.
It could be that hes already married or in a relationship, but maybe you could try and learn a little arabic and ask his true feelings?
Tell him how you feel and if he rejects you, or if there is a reason why he cant be with you, then you should accept that and move on.
But i really do think that he genuinely means that he loves you.
Hope this helped, and good luck!!

Answer 8

you had ur fun it's time to have fond memories nothing more

Answer 9

im from egypt and i left and came to the u.s.a when i was 18 on a work visa and i met a white girl here and she was really into me but i told her that it was against my religion to have sex if im not married so any way we got married 6 months later and and now we have been together for 5 years with two kids and i have no plans at all on leaving her or my kids. and i got my citizenship so for me it was a win win situation im happily married with two kids and i got my pappers

Answer 10

I don't think you are able accept any answer telling you this guy is not in love with and he is just using you.

I'm Egyptian and I love Egypt and I can telly you really most of Egyptians are good lovers by nature. I always advice tourists not make any friendships or relations with people who use to work in Tourism and offer them personal services mainly (waiters, housemen, bellmen, drivers). According to hundreds of cases I have seen, your case is one of them.

Sorry I have to tell you the truth and reality. This guy like many of them are professional in what they do. It's not only about the visa as you think. Most of the time it's about money. In most cases they believe that the girl understand the game and like it.

Clearly and I hope you accept it before it's too late
[he is trying to use you]

Answer 11

Forget it . He doesn't love you and doen't want anything from you as you would be back to your country and will not see him again , he knows that well .I think when he told you that he loved you he didn't mean the direct meaning He meant that he liked you just no more and you said that his english is so poor, I think also he loves making friendship with tourists . you have your life in your country and he has his life and egyptian fiance in his country so forget it,get these wrong thoughts out of your mind and deal with the situation as a friendship not more. good luck

Source(s):

Egyptian Guy

Answer 12

Okay, I think he is using you. I mean how could he "love you" so fast =/? how and when did that even happen?!
I mean you guys can't even talk to each other about anything and actually understand each other as there's a huge language gap between you two.


"why should he tell me that we would never meet again, leave no contact number/email address and then keep saying that he loves me?"

I think he said that he was never going to meet you again, just to see your reaction ( cause he most likely knew that you would reply giving him your contact number/ email address..etc.)


Or maybe hes just likes making friendships with tourists.

Or maybe I'm just wrong. (:

Good Luck.

Answer 13

marry him he loves u

Answer 14

ok so far from the info about telling you about "not seeing you again" might be because he might have a deadly sickness, but lets hope he doesn't.He might have wanted to hint you that he doesn't have documents to see you in france.That's a big one.Ok lets face it he couldn't have fallen in love with you by just saying a couple words in french or english.Ya,he could have fallen in love with your physical appearance but not with who you are inside.He probably had hopes of being a visa catcher because you:
*have documents
*live in france
*must have money to be able to travel
*must have a job to have money.
But don't take my word for it you can ask him what he truly feels.
Give him a trick question like: Do you like Egypt(then he answers) if he says yes ask him if you guys turn to be something would he like for you to go live there? if he answers no ask him where would he like to live and if he answers france tell him to **** off !

thats my advice hope he tells you what he really feels.Don't worry about it so much, love is difficult and plus there ALOT of men=]

Answer 15

Most probably, he is just "having fun" with you with no real feelings towards you.

Answer 16

Well I just need to tell u one simple thing. Get time to know him. Because a lot of people always think every thing is going to be okay and marry him quickly and then when they get to know each other in the marriage, when they know those things they tend to hate their spouse and problems happen. So be careful. Good luck!

Answer 17

He wants a visa, that's all.

Answer 18

Loving someone in a different country is a little bit confusing. We have different cultures that's why we don't know how a guy from another country handles things like these. MAYBE he doesn't want to stay in a long distance relationship that's why he just said goodbye with out leaving any contact numbers or whatsoever. He'll contact you if he's really serious about you, don't worry :)

Answer 19

Typical Visa hunting. Stay away.

Answer 20

mmm , sometimes we pass by people and get very attracted to them ... u will think its love ... and that it cannot be something else ... or you may think that he really loves you .... and as you mentioned you were on a ship .... that atmosphere would probably make you fall for anyone :D ... i know it ..... wind ... beauty of the blue ... a romantic place to be someone you love .... probably your single .... and you found someone funny .... diff rent than the ones you see .... shown interest .... he didn't wrote u his no. because he was sure that you would .... maybe you didn't show attention but he knew that your intrested ... you probably was looking to him ... and i bet that he noticed ... anyway ... forget about it ... before it destroy you

Answer 21

he doesn't love you at all he's just want to get nationality and money

Answer 22

Man.....us Egyptians sure are ladies' men....hahahahhahahha

I think we have something in our DNA or something....even here in US I tell girls I'm from Egypt they go crazy....I think EGypt is like romantic or something for them,.

:P

Source(s):

sha3b fetek :P

Answer 23

tell him seriously what you like about him then let him decide his real position place.

Source(s):

we get the points of conversations