Do you like going to the beach?

Question

"A Day In The Sun"

His balls hung so far
out of his faded blue swimming trunks,
they pressed through the plastic ribbons
of the lawn chair seat
and you could see the sack,
taut and bulging with an old man's nuts.
He had a scruffy gray beard
that went from the bottom of his crooked chin,
to the top of his wrinkled chest.
No shirt,
no shoes, no sense.
The young girls at the beach shrieked
when they skipped by him,
heading for bluer water.
I stood up and approached him,
taking my sunglasses off as I spoke.
"Hey"
Nothing.
"Hey, wake up. Your balls
are hanging out."
He turned and reached
into a red and white cooler,
digging in the ice.
He grabbed the waist of his trunks
and dropped a handful of cubes down his front.
He got up, halfway, farted,
wiggled his shorts, and sat back down.
"Are you crazy??"
He finally looked up at me.
"Listen, son, it's the only way to get my nuts
to shrivel back up
so I can keep them close to my pecker."
I turned and walked back
to my wife, grabbed my towel,
and headed towards the car.
"Who was that?" my wife asked.
"The ghost of Charles Bukowski" I said.
"He was nasty!!"
"Yeah. We're all nasty" I said

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

yeah
he had balls alright
I knew him from the first line or two..
and by jove
I think I may have seen him too.

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

Run!!

Answer 2

Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,....ha,ha. This is very funny stuff. At first I thought you were writing about my husband. Boy, was I relieved when I got to the end. Love this. Thanks for making me laugh. I needed that.

Answer 3

I think Bukowski would have chased the young girls!
But seriously, this is lesson 101 in descriptive writing.
There is no denying that this was so visual, whoever reads it is there, whether they want to be or not!

Enjoyed, learned, winced just a tad and now am off to sing Happy Birthday to my Bro.

ma

Answer 4

Thanks for that.
Like Ma said, descriptive stuff.

Answer 5

HAHAHA...I love it!


<~~~~Lots of beach pictures.

Answer 6

Haha!! I love going to the Beach. I have seen many balls pop out of Speedo's...along with other body parts.My boobs fell out of my bikini top once.What to do..?...stuff happens.I love your balls poem. x

Answer 7

Wow
Now thats how a poems looks
Nice job Dave!

Answer 8

wow
at first I thought this was funny
then I got to the end
I may have to read this Bukowski guy

Answer 9

Pmsl instant star from me.

Answer 10

Lmao.. very odd poem for sure.

Answer 11

Damn you described my husband..Very funny indeed. Iaughed through the whole poem.. Nice well put balls and all.

Answer 12

You just are so damn slick...There I am thinking oh Buk has written a senseless blue balls hanging out at the beach poem and poof! You go and put something nasty deep at the end. (Those who live in glass hoeses..yadayadayada)

Nice pen

Answer 13

Hilarious stuff.....and well-written,too.

Source(s):

KM

Answer 14

very much so!!

Answer 15

love the beach and all the nasty stuff that comes with it

would show my beach picture but when I try to upload it..It says....problems loading butt too big.....

Answer 16

Ha!
Charles Bukowski was no Charles Atlas.
Still no one kicks sand in his face.

Source(s):

http://www.members.shaw.ca/fz-pomd/wazoo…

Answer 17

and now we now why there are spaces in the slats.....

tightly woven piece here!

Answer 18

When I see orbs
hangin' below beach
loungers I
attach star fish
to them.

Source(s):

Pierced earring closures & the Art
of Low Hanger
Maintenance.

Answer 19

One demented genius has evoked the style and memory of another, equally talented but far more insane. This was sheer joy to read!

Answer 20

Priceless, Great Job

Answer 21

O

M

G.....

For a second there I envisioned my father in like the next 50 or so years.....

*shudders*

Although I don't think he'd be quite as entertaining as Mr Bukowski.

:)

Answer 22

Whose balls are hanging out, again?
 

Source(s):

very poetic

Answer 23

I build a terrycloth
nest in the sand
and sit on my eggs
that will never hatch