How can I stop thinking and crying over a man I fell in love with?

Question

I'm deeply saddened because the guy I fell for (just head over heels) is taken, and he's just not that into me (if at all).

I had fantasized about him and thought of him while daydreaming or while just dozing off to sleep at night. I thought of him proposing. I lived in my fantasy (at only certain times) to make myself feel better when I was (and am) lonely.

I'm almost 37 years old and he's 39. It hurts he doesn't want me, and it's hard for me to accept when I just want to be his wife (we work together, so I see him a good 8 hrs every day).

My heart breaks as it always does in love. I feel like such a lonely loser. I wish he'd just like me, and maybe if I pray hard enough, he'll come around. But that's just fantasy thinking. I just don't want to face the harshness of my reality.

What can I do to stop crying tonight? I've tried dating other people, and it went nowhere. I was stood up once, so I feel so pathetically loser-like.

It was Marcel Proust who said something to the effect of "for those who hearts are not attached, it easy to say goodbye." This guy told me, metaphorically, to move on and go forward. The implication is that he is telling me, "I'm taken and content. Move on because I will not be there for you." And I'm beyond crushed, lonely, and miserable. I hide this intense pain from my family and some friends, as I should know better than to put my eggs in one basket.

Would someone help me to stop crying? Can you help stop my feelings of pain and isolation? I feel so desperately lonely tonight.

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Voters

.What can I say,Your an intelligent adult young lady.You know wishing,dreaming,praying won't change reality.Best to prick yourself like a balloon and blow all these fantasies away.Wake up and live.You're wasting the prime years of life