What do you think of my poem?

Question

I went to coffee tree to buy
a bukowski poetry book

Charles knew what I was going through
So sad and depressed
I need you in my life

I told the cashier I wrote love poems
She said I was the last of my kind

I told her I mostly wrote about you
But it would never work out
except on paper

Walking out I saw your vehicle at the stop sign
It seemed to linger there a little longer than
it needed to.

It left me wondering, wishing perhaps.
Did you see me too?


Please give honest answers. I can take criticism.
Thanks in advance,
Kevin

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

I think it's great. I write poetry as well and it's hard to find fault. It's what you feel and it helps. I liked it though. It may because I'm just a girl who loves romance.

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

Thanks to all of you for answering. But as the rules go, I can only pick one.

Answer 2

I don't want to be in the most mean, yet
The line
I went to Coffee Tree to buy.
Use something alongs the lines, As I walked to the Coffee Tree.
It gives it a more detailed poem.

Answer 3

I like it, especially "it would never work out/except on paper"

Answer 4

Its a kiddish poem but u can write better

Answer 5

i like it. it's not the typical metaphorical "symbolic" poem, you're just telling a story, which i don't see too much. but it's still very good. it reads well and is easy to relate to and understand. it reminds me of one of my favorite poems, but i just totally forgot what it's called and who wrote it...anyway, keep up the good work.

Answer 6

ello KYPoet,

(ay agree with jman ... )

Overall, methinks, it's a lovely poem!

Well done, Kevin and thank you for sharing.