How do I use a vacuum cleaner as a masturbation aid?

Question

I hear stories about guys using vacuum cleaners for stuff other than housework.
Is that for real, how you doin' that?
Which is the best model to use, AC or DC?
Which buttons do I need to press?
How do I clean up the aftermath?
What other electrical appliances can be used for self gratification, I have a whole bunch of weird things in my kitchen and toolshed.
Are there any safety precautions I should look out for, I wouldn't want to have an accident.
What appliances do the ladies prefer?
Thanking you in advance.

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

Of all the things, you want to try using a vacuum cleaner to suck your sperm out. Watch it, you penis may be sucked into the vacuum cleaner! Or if it too powerful, you may suck all you delicate inner thing out, rendering your penis useless.

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

Yeah maybe you're right

Answer 2

I don't know about vacuum cleaner, sounds like it'd be painful. The best I ever found was a jar filled with spaghetti, warm spaghetti not hot. Then cover the jar entrance with plastic, poke a hole in the center for your pleasure to go inside.

other ideas are, rubber gloves, 3m gel wrist rests, or just spend 40-60 bucks on a flesh light

nothing wrong with experimenting, just be careful.

Answer 3

I wouldn't do that, and I've tried most things. It could cause damage.
Look at www.jackinworld.com, in the techniques section - that should keep you off the streets for a while.
Look after your penis, it's the only one you will get, and it's got to last a lifetime.
have fun

Source(s):

www.jackinworld.com

Answer 4

If you attach the round Hose onto the vacumm and turn it on, it will suck off your penis. DONT DO IT. you will end up in ER with a severed penis

Answer 5

I wouldn't because of this very reason: how would you explain something like that to the emergency room staff if something goes wrong?

Answer 6

Dude! Not a good idea! You will end up bursting blood vessels and you will end up in the hospital with a damaged penis.

Answer 7

DESPERATE

Answer 8

you got some imagination,,, try a hoover...

Answer 9

Get a girl and get a life.

Answer 10

Ow.

Answer 11

Wow...maybe you should just stick to your hand.

Answer 12

no matter what u use but ur r definatly going to convert ur body to museum of dieses by masturbating.