How can I learn to be happy with what I have when I have so little?

Question

I am a divorced 40 year old female as well as an orphan. My ex put all our possessions in his dads name while I was occupied with my parents and their health problems. I have 2 beautiful girls ages 10 and 12. When they are with their dad they have the pool in the back yard, and anything their heart desires but when they are with me sometimes it is hard to put food on the table. My ex don't pay much child support yet he has a lot of money, he owns real estate as well as a landscapeing business and hides behind his parents, he is leaving next week with his nasty girlfriend to go on yet another cruise. I don't have the money to hire a good lawyer. Our system sucks...How can I be happy when I know my girls deserve so much more. I am trying to go back to school to get my teaching degree but school is so expensive. Can anyone hook me up with a good attorney or at least help me accept these things I can not change?

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Voters

Honey,
Do you have your health? Do your daughters have good health? Thank God every day if you have your health, because that is the only thing that can stop you from achieving anything you put your mind to. You need to be positive, not negative, and things will start looking up for you. I hope you are not negative around your girls, they will pick up on that negativity and follow your lead. Be a positive role model, and show your girls how to live a better life. Someone always has it worse than you, be thankful for what you DO have.

Answer 2

I'm sorry you have to deal with all of that but it all takes power of will and faith. It can always be worse. I suggest volunteering in a nursing home or someplace to see how little some people have -but a lot of people don't let this take away from their happiness which is amazing. Don't think about what you don't have or what you wish you had- focus on the things that you have that make you happy. It all gets better.

Best wishes.

Answer 3

Check out legal aid in your area, which can be cheaper. Your problem is an unfair amount of child support, and you need legal help. I don't think there is any other way, especially since your ex- is clever and avoiding additional responsibility.

Answer 4

You are right to feel angry and sad. But most of all you are right to know who is most important in this situation, your girls. So be strong and find your answer for a better life. Decide to fight for what is rightfully yours in the divorce but also don't rely on it. You can make a wonderful, positive life for your daughters on your onw. That is what will make you and your daughters stronger later. It will be hard and slow in the beginning but remember that they are watching you and learning from how you handle the rough spots. From you they will learn to be strong women and mothers.

My mother-in-law got divorced when my husband was 17. She went back to school at the same time my husband started college. Student loans abound in that house. But now she is strong, has been working for 20 years, remarried, greatly happy. It was hard. They lived on very little money those first few years. So little that they could have gone on welfare but she never let that on to her sons. They struggled and yet she stayed so positive. Now, she has a very friendly relationship with her ex and she is 10 times better off then she was then. In all of it she never turned a bad word on her ex in front of her kids. And thus they never resented her for the hard times they were in. Both her sons adore her now for being strong, supportive and a mentor to them. You are 40 and that means you have a whole life to create ahead of you! The best revenge is your own happiness and success! My father took everything when he left my mom too. But she had us! Worth more then money! There is one thing your girls deserve and it is your love. Again worth more then money! Stay strong and find 3 things every day to happy for. God puts them there. It is our job to find them.