Mentally Unstable and Need Help?

Question

I really need some help last night I was doing my job by playing for the football team....hence I am in marching band and I love it to death. It is my hobby but last night I was broken up in pieces because this girl tells me at every foot ball game that I am out of step when we are marching on for pre game to play the national anthem. I swear my left foot hits the beat when the snare does and no one else tells me I am off step but her. I am marching so fast my feet start to hurt. I ask my bf all the time if he notices me off step because I tell him to watch me and he used to be in rotc and marching band but he tells me I look fine. Maybe he isn't the best person to ask because he is my bf but she is the only one that thinks I am off step. We are supposed to be in two lines and line up with some one next to us well when I sped up my march I was way ahead of the person I was supposed to be by and I tried to take different size steps and she still told me I was wrong. After about a year and a half of this I start to wonder. It also broke my heart at last because I love playing and marching it is fun. I finally had enough and I just broke down crying right before half time. Of course she tries to make me feel better and say oh you are doing great but I mean come on she is the one who told me I am wrong. Others said I do good and that they mess up too but it can't be as bad as me. I hate being the front of the line to go on the field because when it is competition time I don't want to be the one that is holding us back. Should I ask the teacher to help me; this is just tearing me up. I was practicing with my boyfriend a little one time and he said I was good. It was the worst game ever because I was upset all night and I couldn't enjoy my self.
Stefani

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

There is a difference between unstable and sensitive. You sound like you are sensitive. Mental toughness, often times is acquired. It is in the challenges we face in life that we develop mental toughness and character.

Also, very important: You will have to learn to consider the source and stop reacting to criticism. You need to become more resilient. The first steps are not being reactionary and building your self-esteem. Learning to self-nurture is a survival skill that will serve you well. There are lots of people who will not think twice about taking a shot at you. You need to be able to make a reasonable assessment of your strengths and weaknesses.

Again, always consider the source of your attacks. This girl is probably jealous of you somehow and sees weakness-your sensitivity, therefore, she picks on you. Next time tell her to worry about her own marching. You are probably better than her and she resents you for it. Nobody is perfect. Another way to deal with her is to blow off what she says by interrupting her and talking to someone else or walking away when she starts. If she pursues it, point out an imperfection of hers. Say, well it looks like you should focus on yourself as you are not in a position to criticize.

Lastly, practice. This will give you confidence and help you overcome your sensitivity and anxiousness.

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

Thanks and if she wasn't so nice I would yell at her plus when I am in line I can't talk lol.
Stefani

Answer 2

Definitely talk to the teacher. Practice more. Do what you can but understand that at the same time, you are only human. You can't be perfect. Thank the girl for the constructive criticism but take it for what it is. CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. She didn't say it to hurt you or freak you out, she brought it to your attention because she is confident you can change it or fix the situation. You should definitely talk to someone who can help you or just listen to your fears and issues because feeling worthless is a symptom of depression.