Do you agree w/Ayn Rand, that genders are equal intellectually, but men must take the lead in sexual intimacy?

Question

Rand's views on gender roles are controversial. While her books champion men and women as intellectual equals, she thought that physiological differences between the sexes led to fundamental psychological differences that were the source of gender roles. Rand denied endorsing any kind of power difference between men and women, stating that metaphysical dominance in sexual relations refers to the man's role as the prime mover in sex and the necessity of male arousal for sex to occur. According to Rand, "For a woman to be a woman, the essence of femininity is hero-worship—the desire to look up to man." Rand believed that sex in its highest form is a physical response to intellectual and spiritual values, a mechanism for giving concrete expression to values that could otherwise only be experienced in the abstract.

Additional Details

Quote here is from wikipedia contained in the body of information on Rand, a social commentator and novelist.

Chinese Checkers, um, most lasting poetry penned in the last 500 years in the west was done by men.

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

Yes. As I and many other men have said before on this site. Women do not understand the sexual nature of man. These women may have personal preferences, but these preferences are not substitutions for truth. The best example of this difference is this quotation. What if God decided to give the woman in your life the ability to see your every sexual thought for a day? If you're the average male, this would be the ultimate nightmare! We would be driven to our knees in desperate bargaining: "Lord, please not that. I promise to grow up!"

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Asker's Comment:

A profound answer that our era, with all of its polish, doesn't understand...

Answer 2

No, I don't believe in silly rules like that. Some relationships I have taken the lead, others my partner has, some pretty much equal. And to say that the essence of femininity is to look up to a man is, well, I guess that's just another example of using the term 'feminine' to denote something that is lesser or incomplete.

Capone - yes, and you clearly have no understanding of female sexuality. I - and I'm certainly not alone - have no desire to 'hero-worship' my partner, or any other man.

Answer 3

That's an interesting philosophy. From a physiological standpoint, it would appear as though humans have mated in this fashion in the past. But I'm not sure if Rand's premise still rings true in today's world....

I'm not quite sure why people assume leading to be superior to following. Both are actions, that require an equal amount of force. The leader directs, the follower submits and gives the leader control over her (his) body. Both leaders and followers are equal, but require opposing roles.

Answer 4

I don't think this "must" happen; couples can do whatever works for them. I have never desired to look up to a man, but I'm not that feminine, anyway. The fact that I possess a uterus doesn't give me any sort of psychological urge to use it.

Answer 5

No. Sexuality carries many individual preferences. If Ayn Rand likes having the man take the lead, that's fine for her, but to extrapolate her personal desires and apply them to all women is not reasonable or appropriate.

Answer 6

Yes I do agree with her. The rest of her philosophy is utter rubbish though I have to say and highly unoriginal! She essentially rehashes in misceginated form what Nietsche says...Rational self interest is not a new idea

Answer 7

This rings true for me.

Fereshte. you are taking this very literally and of course there would be exceptions.

Answer 8

ayn rand was an idiot with a rape fetish

Answer 9

I read Rand a lot in the past and sought to follow her philosophy in my personal life. Not now though.
I agree that men and women, on the average, are intellectual equals.
I do not agree that the male must be the initiator in sexual interaction. Women can be and often are too.
Incidentally, I feel that Ayn Rand was a very brilliant woman with a powerful mind. Her philosophy has a number of useful elements. It also has weaknesses. I will mention one. If love between humans is based on performance (that is, living correctly, rigidly according to her philosophy), it is consequently always insecure.
Her philosophy is too much like a legalistic religion.
It is logical, but life is not.

Answer 10

Anyone who limits themselves to one form of sex is seriously denying themselves. Should men take the lead in sex sometimes? Sure. Should women take the lead sometimes? Sure. Mix things up, enjoy yourself. Besides, there are plenty of men who like to be dominated just like there are plenty of women who prefer to be "top" to the position of "sub". People are individuals with individual sexual tastes.

As for hero-worship? Not likely. Will I give my man all the respect, pride, and praise he needs? Sure, but only deserved. I'm not going to worship him to simply stroke his ego. I've done this in relationships in the past and it feels false. And I much prefer to be real in my relationships now.

And for a woman to be a woman-- it takes many different things for a woman to be a woman. The foundation of that does not have to be a man.

Answer 11

I believe (generally speaking) that men and women are different in most every way and that our intellectual capacity may be equal but our intellectual focus is different. In most ways genders have predefined strengths and weaknesses when compared to the other this would also include intellect. Obviously sex is very different for men than it is women but it is our intellect that allows us to move beyond basic design and have hot monkey love. The Idea that men must be the aggressor for the purpose of procreation is all fine and well but that doesnt mean women don't need or want to be the dominant from time to time.

Answer 12

I see many faults in her quote about hero-worship, if that's the way she fels then ok..but for many women isn't true at all. To feel true feminity, or truly yourself whatever you want to call it it doesn't involve another, it's what's inside you to feel content and true to yourself.

Also the link between making love and hero-worship just seems warped. making love is when you are complete unity, one, ying and yang. Not worshipping your husband.

Also I believe that the women should always take teh lead when it comes to initiating sex because it's obvious if a man is ready for sex, but not for a woman.

Answer 13

Women are attracted to a man who knows how to BLOW TO BITS any GUILT she may have about being a sexual ANIMAL, just like MEN.

Think about this:
For the most part, our society has REPRESSED female sexuality even more than it has repressed male sexuality. Women have been made to feel guilty for a long time about being HUMAN and SEXUAL.

Imagine, the most powerful drive we have as a species, and it being REPRESSED for thousands of years. Actually, men too have been repressed, but women even more so. So when women finally DO get a chance to BE A WOMAN, to let their sexuality go FREE, they go ABSOLUTELY WILD.

Here’s a great example:
Ever been to a strip club?
Sure, a few guys with beers are shouting, but most of the men are extremely laid back. Some guys even have BUSINESS MEETINGS while the show is going on onstage.

Now, let’s just contrast this with what happens when WOMEN go to strip clubs where men strip.
The women go NUTS. They SCREAM.

It’s a SPECIAL RARE EVENT for women, a rite of passage these days to mark their “adulthood” and sexual freedom at whatever the earliest admittance age is. Because all that pent up repression is finally let loose. It is an environment where they have PERMISSION to UNLEASH.

Now, think about how MOST men act when they first see a woman they’d like to approach. First of all, most men do NOTHING. Okay, but even the men who do approach women, they act as if they are INFERIOR to the woman.

The guy nervously approaches, and will either NERVOUSLY say something extremely BORING or DRY or GOOFY, or COMPLIMENTARY. Plus his eyes are darting nervously around, AS IF HE IS GUILTY OF SOMETHING. As if being sexual is not something he deserves.

Look, WOMEN FEEL GUILTY ENOUGH already about sex. If YOU don’t feel worthy of it, I can ASSURE you that she will not be able to associate you with having sex with her.

In HER mind, it’s like THIS:
“This guy thinks I’m gonna have sex with him?!! Yeah RIGHT. NO WAY! This guy expects ME to lead HIM to bed. This dweeb is a LOSER with a capital L! Yuck!”

Not only is a guy who does not lead look like a weakling, and is unsexy that way, but he also leaves all the guilt to HER. Women want a guy that can ELIMINATE the psychological guilt involved.

This is why it’s so important to IMMEDIATELY set the tone between you and a woman AS SOON AS YOU MEET HER. The INITIAL IMPRESSION you make will be the one that sticks the hardest with her.

So if you are approaching a woman, you must IMMEDIATELY convey that you are LEADING the situation, that YOU are in the dominant position. Don’t make any goofy jokes that make you look like the class CLOWN who people laughed at but did not respect.

However, using a TEASING sense of humor that shows you are CONFIDENT AS HELL and a little SUPERIOR makes her feel several things:
1 “Ah, this guy is a MAN, he is worthy of me, he is not a boy.”
2. This guy will LEAD the way to sex so I can “blame” it all on him and feel no guilt.
3. Since he takes charge, the sex will be UNINHIBITED and WILD, because he will LEAD me to a state of ECSTASY.

This is why teasing a woman on something about her is often an effective way to start off. If you see a woman in a supermarket, and she’s selecting vegetables or chicken or whatever, you can easily tease her that if she does dishes AND cooks, she might have a chance with you.

But remember, it’s not just the TEASE. It’s the ATTITUDE you are conveying.

It must be conveyed in EVERYTHING you are doing- your voice, your words, your body language. Are you RUSHING your words as if you want to get out of there? That doesn’t show a guy who LEADS, does it? That would just show a guy who RUNS. You do not HAVE to tease a woman to show you are dominant and sexy. As long as your conversation shows that you are a WINNER and comfortable, relaxed, and LEADING the way.

For example, you could link something she is wearing to a fashion that you saw while traveling in an exotic part of the world to tactfully show that you are experienced with people and cultures and that talking to a new woman is no big deal to you.

It's an example of something COOL.

The essence of being COOL is showing the sexy exciting elements of your personality, history, etc. So maybe don’t start with the fact you enjoy chess. With experience, you will learn to NATURALLY convey sexiness and link almost ANYTHING about the woman in front of you or the situation in which you meet her to a topic that conveys that you are THE MAN.

And remember, it’s not just the WORDS, It’s EVERYTHING you do. The way you move, even the way you BREATHE.

And you must lead a woman and ease her conscience all the way from getting her contact info to meeting with you to getting physical. She will not lead the way- YOU must do it or nothing will happen. You must display total CONGRUENCE in your body language, your voice, your words.

Answer 14

Everybody has their own thing with sex... that was hers. So? I think she justified her preferences rather than chose her "style" based on what she thought was the right thing to do.

Obviously Rand believed that women were as smart as men, that's no secret. She was brilliant and enjoyed an intellectual challenge. But she also like to take an ancillary role when it came to her bedroom behavior. But rather than be ashamed of this or to fight it because it seemed in contrast to her intellectual views she found a way that, in her mind, made it not only okay, but essential.

I like that Rand was not afraid of either challenging people mentally or expressing herself physically. Rather than be embarrassed about it or try to hide it, she put it out in the open for all see and was confident enough in herself to love herself for it.

I definitly agree with Rand about men and women being intellectual equals. But the other half? I'll never tell.