Why I am even alive? I never should have been born

Question

i hate living, whats the point?
im a 22 yr old female i have a boring job going to college to get another boring job and why? what's the point? is that all there is to life? just going threw the motions to survive? what for? theres no point to all this.....
i have nothing to live for....
i mean whats the point?
if my mom and dad were dead i wouldn't have anyone......
the only reason i don't give up is because it would ruin their lives but other then that it's pointless


i have never had a boyfriend and dont have any friend or any social life
people hurt you...so i would rather protect myself then be hurt....

theo nly thing i ever do is exercise and think about trying to lose weight, it's the only thing that makes me happy.
i just can't be happy. i've always been depressed even when i was a kid, but i just hide behind a "smile" and everyone always thinks i'm so happy but it's the total opposite.....

i can't stand living anymore, i want to be in a better place.

Additional Details

i hate being around alot of people i feel like i don't "fit in" with anyone. i'm so different from everyone and they all look at me like a freak or ut of pity..i can't tell...

i spend 2-3 hrs a day outside in nature, it's the only thing that makes me happy but i mean i'm not the type of person that feels comfortable in social settings..... i don't like it at all

i'm wiccan not christian and sorry for being depressed, sorry i can't put on a fake act and be all happy carefree, it's not who i am.......

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

I am surely not atheist, but these people that says "god will always love you", believe in the same god that "loves" people in Darfur; in its present state, hope is not the right word for those people. I hope you don't dwell on that, because it may seem delusional right now.

I know I'm 3 years younger than you are, but please try to hear me out to help you out.

Seriously, like someone already said, life is what you make it to be. It is very true to every second that passes as you're reading this sentence. If you think you're going to have a bad day, you are going to have a bad day. If you think you're going to have a good day, you are going to have a good day. Everything in life has its own judgment, and the master is you. People hurt you, okay, knives hurt you too. That is just a simple, natural and initial reaction, but there is still time left for judgment. If you dwell on the fact that life is bleak, of course you will be depressed, no doubt about it.

At this point, the way I see it, if you want to reach happiness and hope, there are two ways.

This one is a must, quit your damn job. And please don't tell me you work at Olive Garden. If you are, I'd personally hire myself to be the manager and fire you personally. haha, laugh! That's the first step!

Anyway,

#1
Change the perspective of everything in your life; yeah, everything. Try to see it, hear it, smell it, touch it, and feel it in a way you did not before. Life, as I promise you, will become.... I have no better word, grand.
There are 6.7 billion living on earth (as of July 2008), I'm f****ing sure, not everybody is going to hurt you. I'm not trying to insist you to go out there and be friends with billions of people, I'm trying to say it really doesn't hurt to have few more people other than your parents to be a part of your life. In my opinion, and others' too, friends actually help you (physically, mentally, emotionally) more than they hurt you. If they do just the opposite, why were you guys even friends the first time?
That's one idea, I'll give you another, so you can get a hang of it.
You don't fit in? Okay, I'm a brown kid, that goes to college with white kids who love football like it's a religion, I hate football. All of my friends joined fraternities and sororities, I was the very very few who didn't join. I love to sit in front of my computer for 6 hours straight, my friends thinks I'm a total geek. At parties, I'm that only guy in the middle of the room that dances while everybody just stares and watches and laughs. The fact is, I have more friends that I can imagine and they all love me, as is (yeah, I know I can't believe it too). Sorry if that comes of as boasting, but that's not the point at all, neither is having many friends. I am very very very very different, better word- eclectic, than many of my peers. If I put it in your perspective, f*** no i don't fit in. But at the same time, who gives a sh.. anyway. I am in very same position that you are in. The only difference? The judgment of the situation.

#2
Dwell only on those things you call "good", and not the "bad".
-If you have a job you dont like and you're still working there, you're dwelling in the "bad". Solution: Quit and/or Get a better job.
-You don't like social settings? Do something in your life that doesn't require dealing with people; that should have been anymore obvious.
-Think nothing of the past and future when all there is is now (present).
-Pizza tastes like crap, DONT EAT IT (jk, I love pizza, mmmm). Simple as that, and life can work the same way.
That's enough to give you an idea.

Look, I personally don't recommend the 2nd idea, but it's a hell lot easier than the first. I just put it up there in case One is way too hard for you to do and/or comprehend; Since you're 22 and already fabricated you're morals and values, it's hard to change at that age.
At the same time, I highly highly recommend to try your best over and over to do the first advice. That seems like your only salvation to true happiness. If you need help to fulfill that goal, go ahead ask help from your parents, or friend, or cat (whatever pet of choice), or even a professional (psychiatrist, psychologist, psywhateverist). I really want to help, because it really saddens me for anybody to think life is less grand than what it is. I hope you can take my words into consideration. My help is always here, (Oh man, this is going to be a bad idea, posting my email) but here's my email if you need more of anything else [e-mail]

Sinc,
TN

Source(s):

A doze of 19 years of life and counting

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

Thanks for the support! you should really be proud of how caring you are really are. :)

Answer 2

it'll get better!
i promise you <//3

Answer 3

Make friends. Find a boyfriend. Get laid?

Answer 4

hang in thrr, all of a sudden something will happen, and change your life...trust me!!!!!

Answer 5

Tori N, im feeling the same way right now and all i can say is if you believe in god you should do alot of praying ask god to show you your way.Maybe try going to church it realy can help and the people there will understand your problems and try to help you

Answer 6

I'd make an effort to make some friends. Sure, some will end up trying to hurt you, but not everyone does that.

Answer 7

Your here because your meant to be.
Your here to make a difference.
In the end everything will be ok,
If its not ok its not the end.
hold on.

Answer 8

please get tested for bi-polar disease. if you do i will be your friend.

Answer 9

I feels the same ways

you just need a group of friends or anyone at all to talk to to get through it

Answer 10

You are depressed. Seek professional help. You don't have to feel this way.

Answer 11

its seems like u don't do much well why won't you do something like a walk to the park and have a picnic or change jobs and do something that you like.

Answer 12

i wonder the same thing but something got to give i know one day ill be happy

Answer 13

live will get better trust me been there be4 it will.
when live gives u lemons make lemonade.
when live gives you hell. give it hell back.

Answer 14

Oh shut up, emo kid.

If you hate the corporate world so much, go to Ashlyn, Oregon. People there are accepting, and it's freedom all around. That's where I'm going.

Answer 15

Work on your appearance.

This is the only cure Ive found for antisocial activity or depression.

If you look good you will be more comfrotable around others.

Eat healthy, go to the gym, take up a sport.

Find something, do something.



Coasting is no way to go through life.

Answer 16

Come in bed with me and i can give you a very very fun night with loads of pleasure!

Answer 17

you need help

Answer 18

Your reason, is to figure out your own solution, and to make millions writing a book about it!

Answer 19

i'm sure you mean a lot to a lot of people! even if you dont think it, there are people all around you who do love you, even if they show it in weird ways! keep looking for mr. right...isn't everyone? and dont worry, you'll find people who love you even more and always accept you for who you are! hang in there!

Answer 20

youll be rite mate cheer up cobba

Answer 21

you are not going to be happy with that attitude hon.
change your views on life. appreciate it. be grateful to be alive right now, and charish every moment.

Answer 22

buy an xbox and get on xbox live. It is a good distraction.

Answer 23

the point is that suicide outta boredom is not normal. you have a chemical imbalance in your brain and need some antidepressants

Answer 24

THERE IS A PINOT TO LIFE! i felt the same exact way, i grew up in a Christian family but never really believed it. Then, one day, i accepted Jesus, and i felt like a wave of peace, and i felt like i finnally solved a mystery that had been haunting me all my life: whats the point in living? i felt like the last peice of the puzzle finally clicked into place. but dont take my word for it. t2j (talk to Jesus)

Answer 25

hang in there
it will all work out

if things dont get better maybe see a counselor?
good luck, and dont give up.

Answer 26

life is full of events, you only live once so party while you can. plus everything sucks about college and jobs, go out on an edge.
dont think badly of ur self, ur important wether u think so or not.
i dont even know u and i care about u

Answer 27

It's not all like that, you've got to
quite that job and go for something
fun. Plus most jobs are boring, its
like school! Also I think you need
to socialize more! If for some reason
your thinking your ugly, get a make-
over! Everything gonna be alright.
Just stick in there. You've gotta
try and love life.

Answer 28

dont you think this is a bit extreme? common now cheer up. There is alot of thing to live for once you found your goals in life.

Answer 29

Seriously, get tough. Everyone has problems. Enjoy what it is you do have.

Life is what you make of it. Don't expect people to make it what you want.

Answer 30

were the same exact way.
:[

im tryign somethign crazy later on tonight to try and make myself feel better.

i tried suicide 4 or 5 times
obvioulsy i failled cause im still alive
some days im really happy to be alive
other days i just dont want to be hear.
the only hting keeping me alive is the love of others.

with out my family, and friends i would not be here.

if you need to talk to me you can email me

ill definatley talk to you, i find it nice to just talk to people you dont even know about your problems

Answer 31

Well first of all,why are you closing yourself away from everybody, yes people do hurt other people but thats just life, what dosent kill you makes you stronger, you need to put yourself out there and learn from your mistakes your the one making life suck, just chill out go hit a bar up,meet some cute guys,You might think people look at you differntly or something but just try talking to them, i'm sure things would work out just fine. and you want to go to a better place??.. **** earth pretty much is heaven, if you want it to be.
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