Why are some disabled people so mean?

Question

today I saw this older disable woman having a really hard time opening a door so I went over and opened the door for her. She gave me a dirty look and didn't even thank me. Once inside the store she started holding her purse like I was going to steal it.

Additional Details

This isn't the only disabled people who's been mean towards me. So I made a promise to myself today not to help another disabled person.

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

Hey Rick don't feel bad i've also had this problem. I would help people who looked like they needed help but in return I got dirty looks and not a 1 thank you. I've stopped and now go on about my business.

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

thanks

Answer 2

Maybe she has had bad experiences of ppl taking advantage of her b/c she is disabled also u did nothing wrong many of them like to feel indipendant so they don;t hafta realy on other ppl

Answer 3

Their are lots of rude people in the world. Some of them have disabilities. It would be sad if you let a few negative experiences change the way you view people with disabilities in general, any more than you would with any other group. Try thinking of people as individuals, not as representatives of whatever group they may be a part of.

Answer 4

Not all PWDs are alike. Each PWD is an individual. Each PWD has a personal choice to be mean or nice to other people. Please do not judge the entire PWD Community based on your interactions with a few PWDs.

PWDs want to be independent and alot of PWDs will refuse help or assistance due to the fact of wanting to remain independent. Let the PWD take the lead if they want help or not.

Answer 5

they want to be independent as possible, ask before helping
or wait for them to ask for help.

Answer 6

Maybe if you ask her first if she needed help...I know many with disability can be mean at times...I remember one day a lady ask if she could hold the door for me and I said sure...she later told me she was trying to help someone with a disability and she got all over me and was very rude.....

I myself have never been rude to anyone that ask if i needed help...most times If I am in a store and I can't reach something I ask the nearest person if they could get this for me.....

There no reason on earth to be mean to someone that what to help you....Just tell them thanks,but I think I can do that myself...

Please don't give up the disabled because of this person...hey maybe it wasn't because she was disabled..but maybe cause she was old...old people can also be mean at times....

Answer 7

Sometimes being in pain for a long time makes people that way.

Perhaps she was old , miserable, and in a lot of pain

Source(s):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrKyrtlIf…

Answer 8

I believe you from personal experience.
Once I used to wait on tables during the ye ol' college days.
I waited on this "deaf-mute" person at a resort, and boy was she RUDE!!
And in a Mexican restaurant, again--a couple of yrs. later waited on these 2 deaf mute ppl. They of course were using sign language PLUS 'talking' as in with their lips in conversation. So naturally I assumed when they were looking at me, they'd too, have the ability to read my lips.
Instead the deaf person said in her unusual voice very very rudely, " I cannot hear you, I am DEAF". But hey~she used her lips and 'voice' when she said it, just like I witnessed her as she spoke to her little friend.

So it hurt my feelings.
When her soup was ready, I pretended like I was blind and clumsily dumped it on her lap.
When she tried to "yell" at me w/all her little fongers and the liver lips went off again, I just did my "Stevie Wonder" look and acted like I couldn't see a thing.

Source(s):

If anyone is rude to me,
I'm rude right back to them man.
Enough is too much

Answer 9

there are people who are depressed & suuffered lot may have negative feelings..cuz they have seen many helpless people in their hard times..& for that they make a negative hollow for every human being....
they too dont wana feel that sumone is having pity on them...

Answer 10

Its not just disabled people who are mean,anyone can be like that.

Answer 11

Some ppl are mean, whether disabled or not. If someone really is mean, they will be that way regardless of their ability.

Answer 12

Did you ask before opening the door?

Most people with disabilities hate it when people don't ask if they want help, and just step in and do what ever it is they are trying to do, and usually earns you a dirty look. The first rule I learnt when working with a disabled person, was always ask, and if they say no, then back off and let them do it for themselves.

Anyway I will say "thank you", since she was rude enough not too, because we need people like you, and please don't let one person put you off.

Source(s):

Carer for people with disabilities

Answer 13

People who are older or old who have disabilities often are less accepting of the limitations they have and try harder than always necessary to retain their independence. This could be a person who was recently "helped" by a person who harmed them in some way - stole their purse or pushed them. You don't know what life experience she has had to be suspicious of what motivated you to open the door for her. She may have felt embarrassed you helped her because she is still learning how to negotiate her disability.

I personally get help often when out and do appreciate it. But I do not want a person going out of their way to help me as even if it is a struggle, I can usually do it myself and I feel a sense of accomplishment when I do. If a person comes at me quickly, or goes to far out of their way I am sometimes suspicious if they are trying to help or take advantage of me in some way.

If this is not the first time this has happened than I think you need to examine how you help - perhaps you are scaring people in some way in your eagerness to help.

Harold - you make assumptions and that is why you were treated the way you were. People who lip read each other regularly have learned how to speak - to form their words - so that is is easier to lip read. I lip read and some people are virtually impossible to read because they do not speak in such a way that their mouths form words clearly. You could be such a person. A deaf person may be able to speak, but since they cannot hear them self may speak very loudly or in an unusual voice - it is not deliberate.

Answer 14

you should slammed the door on her after that

Answer 15

Some disabled ppl hate the world.
Cuz they think everybody owns them.
(They suck)
Living in a wheelchair isn't the best life
but u can live the best u can from a wheelchair,

Answer 16

Perhaps you startled her and depending on your mode of dress you might have scared her. Look people with disabilities are just like any person, some people have trouble accepting help, some don't. Some disabled people are rude, just like non disabled people. They're human beings.

So because you got rebuffed you're going to stop helping all disabled people? Do you do that in your regular relationships too , if someone doesn't do it your way?

Thank you for helping but stop taking offense at every slight, your bp will go up and you'll be very unhappy most of your life.

Answer 17

Well like some one said already prehabs it a bad experience that this lady had in her past. But also prehabs you don't know how to approach a disabled person. Besides you can't promise that your not going to help another disabled person just ask if they need help. Anothor thing like I said before some where here their are people that come disabled later in life are more offensive it looks like it hits them hard when they are trying to do an activity and they can and before it was something so easy.

Answer 18

I am shocked by reading the answers to this question. Why is he getting attacked because he was trying to help someone? I guess you just can't be nice to anyone anymore these days which is a shame.

Rick, you sound like a very nice guy and if i was disabled and was having a hard time doing something and someone came along to help me I would appreciate it. On the behalf of the disabled people who have been rude to you i'll like to thank you.

Answer 19

People with disabilities are mean for the same reasons as other people are mean. They can be having a really bad day, they can be frustrated, tired, in a bad mood or simply bitter individuals. Everybody can be grumpy and rude from time to time.

When you want to help a person with disabilties, you should ask them first if they'd like help instead of just going ahead and doing what you think they need help with. Some people don't want help, or don't need it. They may be able to do things by themselves and they may prefer doing things by themselves even if it would be easier or faster to get help from someone else. They want to be as independent as possible so that they don't have to rely too much on help from others. People with disabilities generally don't like it when people act like they can't do anything on their own. Also, sometimes when you think you are helping you are really not. Sometimes the person with disabilities needs to give instructions on how you can help. For example quickly opening a door might startle the person or make them lose balance if they are holding the door.

Don't let one grumpy person discourage you from offering your help to someone else in the future. Just try to go about it a little differently next time by offering your help and letting the person accept or decline your help or possibly instruct you with how to help them correctly. It is nice of you to want to help and people generally appreciate if you offer your help.

Answer 20

Gee -- a disabled person who didn't act like a Saint! How strange.
I'm all in favor of disableds acting grumpy and grouchy. I used to limp around with this angelic half-smile, as though I was one of God's anointed temporarily living here on Earth to show people what goodness was. Then I got tired of acting like Jerry's Children and decided to become a poster child for Easter Meanies. I'd snarl, curl my lilp, push to the beginnng of lines, demand discounts. That didn't make me friends.
So now I just act like a Normie. Wait my turn, complain if I don't get service;don't ask favors, whine if I'm ignored; stand when I have to , sit down where there's a chair, whisper at funerals, shout at rock concerts. I've rejoined the human race and, you know what -- we're not half bad.

Answer 21

She probably has insecurities/pride issues about her disability "or" she suffered a robbery in the past??
Don't take it personally! I know it's hard not to(I've been thru it myself), especially when you have a big/good heart and the very people who you are helping don't appreciate it. Many times, they don't thank you, but later regret. Your helping the disabled is a wonderful character from your self. Never let anyone, including the disabled change that about you. You are beautiful inwardly.

Answer 22

Some people with disabilities are very offended when other people do things for them without asking first. My suggestion is, when you see someone who has a disability struggling with something (such as a door, or getting an item off of a shelf), always ask them "May I help you?" or similarly phrased question, before automatically doing something for them. They may accept help, or they may say "No, thank you."
BTW, I have spina bifida. I used crutches 95% of the time until 5 years ago, when I started using a wheelchair almost all the time.

Source(s):

Life experience.

Answer 23

I worked in extended care young adults they were quadriplegics, or paraplegics, and I learnt to accommodate a lot of bitterness...
These people had every thing and then it was gone....maybe ,,,think of that the next time

Someday you will not want to judged......cause you have your pain

Maybe you remind them of someone they lost...or never had a chance to see ..or some one that hurt them
don't judge till you have walked in their shoes

Answer 24

So you're not going to help a disabled person anymore?
Even if they're struggling to pick up a book they dropped? Even if they're trying to open the door?
That is not nice. Even if they're rude, you should still help them.
It's called kindness.

Source(s):

My 13 year old self.