Should I get my son circumcised like his brothers?

Question

I want him to be like his brother and daddy when it comes to being cirumcised but at the same time my youngest son got circumcised and they messed up and he was in alot of pain after they did it, so im not sure. Im not looking for opoins on it, I just wanted to know , did you get your son circumcised?Mothers only

Additional Details

The baby not born yet

Because I dont care if you are circumcised, I want answer from mother because they had to think about if they wanted there sons circumcised.

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

I did not get my son circumcised. He is not a clone of my husband and doesn't look exactly like him--for what its worth my husband is missing a foot and we didn't have my son's foot chopped off. :-)

Children are very receptive to differences, especially if you simply explain that "when your dad and brother were born, we thought it was the right thing to do. By the time you were born, we learned that it was not."

Circumcision offers no medical benefits and the risks are great. 85% of the world's men are intact (and their penis are NOT fraught with problems) and 50% of boys born in the US today are as well, so the "locker room" argument is out the window. It is very easy to clean an intact penis--DO NOT RETRACT IT, but simply wipe it like a finger from base to tip...much easier than cleaning feces out of an open wound as you have to when a boy's been circumcised.

For me, it boiled down to the fact that it is not my penis...it is his and he should be the one to decide if he wants to have cosmetic surgery on it.

Source(s):

Circumcision Video
http://www.circumcisionquotes.com/video.html

NOCIRC~National Organization of Circumcision Information Resource Centers
http://www.nocirc.org/

Article~Position Statement: The Effects of Circumcision on Breastfeeding
http://www.nocirc.org/statements/bre...ement2002.html

NOHARMM
http://www.noharmm.org/home.htm

Circumcision Information and Resource Pages
http://www.cirp.org/

Article~Circumcision and Urinary Tract Infection
http://www.cirp.org/library/disease/UTI/

Doctors Opposing Circumcision-Tons of Links!
http://faculty.washington.edu/gcd/DOC/

Mothers Against Circumcision
http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/index.html

In Memory of the Sexually Mutilated Child
http://sexuallymutilatedchild.org/

INTACT
http://www.intact.ca/index.html

Intactivism
http://circumstitions.com/

ARC~Attorneys for the Rights of the Child
http://www.arclaw.org/

Articles by Vincent Bach
http://www.stopcirc.com/vincent/index.html

everything you wanted to know about circumcision but were afraid to ask
http://www.stopcirc.com/index.html

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

Thanks, those video just made me think about it, I dont think im going to be getting my son done.

Answer 2

You might want to check ou the article in 'Mothering' magazine. It is all about circumcision and talks about all the myths surrounding it. It basically debunks the theory as well that circumcision helps prevent AIDS. The scientist are now saying the study they did in Africa was flawed, and the results should never have been published. These men who participated, their sexual orientation, whether their female partners had AIDS, and also whether they had malaria, tuberculosis ( all can throw off a positive reading, when in fact they may be negative) were never even taken into account.
Also that circumcision does NOT prevent infection, just the opposite actually, and that more men are scarred from the surgery, than those that could have problems later in life. The US is the highest, next to Muslims for circumcision rates, and the fact that their is no difference in AIDS rates among circumcised/ non-circumsized men in the US is what showed them the study was flawed.
The fact, according to WHO is that men who participate in risky behaviours, are more likely to get a AIDS. Period.
They now know as well that the foreskin protects against STD's.

It's a really great article, on the stands now. I urge, beg everyone to read it.

I just wanted to put that out there in case these were any of your reasons for wanting to get your son circumcised.

Answer 3

My DH is circ'ed, our son is not. I say leave it up to him whether or not a part of *his* body is cut off unnecessarily.

A lot of the time, little kids don't even notice that it's different than their dad or brother and if they do, just tell them the truth - that some people have more skin there than others.

Once they are older you can explain in a bit more detail - that when your first son was born you thought it was a good thing to do, but by the time the second was born you had learned that it was better not to have it done. They will understand.

Source(s):

Mother of a 1 year old boy, intactivist and children's rights advocate. :)

Answer 4

My husband is, but our son is not. I grew up in the midwest where a lot of folks did it, but being Slavic, my family didn't. I asked my brothers if they had issues not being cut, and they said no. Not with girls, not with health. In school, there were many other European descendants and they weren't circumcised either so they didn't feel weird in the locker room. When I moved to the west coast, to the islands where I live, it is about 50 / 50 here so he won't feel weird in school or deal with self esteem issues about being different.

I did a lot of research and found out that it is more likely for things to go wrong during circumcision or infection after, than it is to develop a problem later in life.

I didn't want to have my son go through any unnecessary pain just so he could look different :-) He is perfect the way it is. It is a myth, that it hurts less at birth than it does as an adult. If he chooses to do it when he is an adult, I'll have no issues.

Answer 5

An article in Medical News Today, dated June 9, 2008

Newborn Circumcision: The Controversy Revisited

"The jury is still out, but the take home message was that circumcision is not without its complications, and one of these complications is death."
"It appears to be a RISKY procedure with truly LITTLE MEDICAL INDICATION in the newborn period."

----Annual Meeting of the American Urological Association (AUA) - May 17 - 22, 2008 www,urotoday.com

Other complications can include gangrene, catastrophic infection, lack of sensitivity leading to complete sexual dysfunction, skin bridges, diminished penile size, painful, tight and distorted erections and more..............

His body----his choice.

A foreskin is not a birth defect.

If God had wanted me to have a foreskin, I would have been born with one.

Infant circumcision is infant sexual abuse and a violation of the basic human right to a whole and intact body.

Female circumcision is mutilation; it's the same for males

Answer 6

Nope, no circumcisions here.

Left my baby the way that he was born...perfect. :) And he's been fine. No problems at all...

Don't listen to the folks who claim it isn't clean, more likely to get infected, etc... Just do a little bit of research and you'll learn that it's actually easier to take care of a baby's intact penis. You just wipe it like a finger. Pulling back the foreskin and trying to clean under there only creates more problems and makes it more likely to get infected. A baby's foreskin is attached to the head of the penis to prevent infection. When you pull it back before it's totally separated from the head, it can create little tears in the skin that are much more likely to get infected. It's kind of like pulling your fingernail back from the nail bed...OUCH! And think about how likely that would be to get infected! If you just leave the foreskin alone and wipe the surface of it for poopy diapers, then your little boy will be good to go. (http://www.aap.org/publiced/BR_Uncircumcised.htm)

Much simpler than caring for a circumcision wound! Or the potential complications of circumcision...like adhesions, infections, etc, etc...

Your little boy's penis might not look like his daddy's or his brother's...but there are lots of things that will be different! You wouldn't order up a nose job for your little boy because his nose might look different, or dye his hair, etc...

Trust your instincts, Mom!

Answer 7

My husband is circ'ed and I am NOT circ'ing my baby boy (due in July). It is NOT medically needed and I will not do something to harm my baby specially to have him look like daddy. Nonsense! I would never performed plastic surgery on my daughter's nose to look just like mine. I also think that Circ violates the rights of a child, let HIM decide when he gets older. They suffer, they are in pain, there are risks of health problems including sexual later in life. You know you are cutting 20,000 nerve endings by performing circumcision? :( My husband has seen the videos, educated himself about it and we have agreed that we are NOT circumcising our son! :) Blessings!

Source(s):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXal6eR8_…

Answer 8

my son is not circumcised. I don't think getting it done just to look like his dad or brothers is a good reason. My doctor told me that it is not a medically necessary procedure and the insurance wouldn't pay for it , and I couldn't see putting my baby through something that wasn't necessary.,

Answer 9

Absolutely not. There's no reason he has to match Daddy. Daddy has scars from being burned and a full beard. Our son doesn't need to be shoved into oven doors or have hair glued to his face, so why would he need to have the most sensitive part of his anatomy cut off?

Besides, the foreskin is essential to normal function of the penis. Why should I risk hampering his future sex life? It's kinda sick to do that for mom or dad's personal kink.

Source(s):

http://www.cirp.org/pages/anat/

Answer 10

I didn't get my first son circumcised and I won't be getting my second son done either. My partner and I argued about it but he soon changed his mind after some of the responses I got when I asked a similar question. The reasons for it are purely because its easier to clean and because it looks better. Go through my older questions to see the reasons against... I hope you change your mind.

Answer 11

I wouldn't, getting him done to look like someone else is really weird.

TBH, I find the whole conceptt of routine infant circumcision to be weird but then, I come from a country where it isn't done.

I prefer intact penises, I prefer the look of intact penises.

Why anyone would want to cut off a normal, healthy body part is beyond me.

Answer 12

No I did not. I would never cut any part of my son unnecessarily. If your son asks why he looks different than his brother or daddy, say it is what makes him special!

Answer 13

No, my son is not circumcised.

EDIT:

Neither is my Husband, and I like the way he looks.

Answer 14

I have 2 sons, they are now 21 and 19. I had my first child at age 20 and I was very inexperienced so I decided to have my son circumcised because the pediatrician thought it was a good thing to do and my husband was also circumcised. After it was over I felt terrible and that it was not the right thing to do. When I was pregnant with my second child I read alot about the advantages of not being circumcised and the risks of the procedure. Many times people say it is easier to keep clean but that's nonsense because we would not pull all of our teeth because it is easier to keep our mouth clean. Well anyway, I did not circumcise my #2 son. It was the best decision I could have made. They do not need to look like their siblings, it doesn't matter to them when they are little and when they are older they don't look at each other naked. I have a very open relationship with my boys and explained it to both of them from when they were very little. Now that he is an adult I ask him whether he cares that he is not circumcised and he said no that there is an equal mix of both. Easy to take care of when they are babies you do not retract the foreskin, over time it naturally breaks away from the glans as they get erections. Just teach him how to clean by retracting the foreskin as far as it will go and washing under it and discuss it again when he's a teen to be sure he's doing it. Since my kids were born I have seen many babies circumcised (as RN) and it is a painful and cruel procedure in my opinion.

Answer 15

I did NOT have my son circumcised - I've done all the research and I know it's not something that is necessary, it's (for the most part) only cosmetic these days, which is really sad to put a baby through "just for looks". I hear people say all the time that they don't want their son to get made fun of later in life - but honestly, the ones who will get made fun of are the ones looking down there in the first place. Besides, it's about 50/50 these days, so there WILL be other guys in the locker room who aren't circ'ed by the time he's older.

Since your other sons and husband are circumcised, it's a bit of a different story since they might be bathing together, etc, but if you just explain it to them at an age-appropriate level, it will just become normal to them that he's different down there.
By the way, it's completely bogus when people say it's more sanitary to be circ'ed. If you teach him to clean it properly in the bath/shower, just like ANY other body part, it will not be dirty or become infected or anything like that.
Hope that helps!

Answer 16

Nope. It's not prevalent in the US or even the world anymore. It's just about 50/50 here in the states, and 15% cut everywhere else.

We didn't do it because it's cosmetic. It's his penis and he should decide how it looks and how it functions. My partner is done and also did not want it done, he didn't see a point and wished his parents would have left him alone. My daughter and I don't have matching breasts and vaginas but we've got a fine relationship. I don't need to cosmetically alter my children to my aesthetic preference.

It's really not hard to take care of or teach him to take care of. When he was a baby we wiped it off like a finger (no one should ever pull back that skin except him), when he discovered on his own that it came back (which was around the time he was 3) we started reminding him in the tub to pull it back and rinse underneath (yes, this is all that is needed to clean it). Some people refer to this as the 3 Rs (retract, rinse, replace). After 2 or so weeks of telling him to do it, he was on autopilot just like "don't forget to wash behind your ears". EDIT: Someone mentioned that it's hard to mention "extra" parts. The foreskin isn't extra, it's standard issue. And it's really not hard to say "This is your foreskin, inside of your foreskin is your penis." They get it just as much as "this is your belly, this is your belly button". My son gets that if he pulls back his foreskin he sees his glans, it's not rocket science really. My daughter also understood that if she pulled back her vulva she'd see her foreskin (clitoral hood) too.

I don't personally think kids need to match their brothers or their dads for 2 reasons. #1 - how often do men sit around with their penises out going "yep, I'm SO glad we're alike". #2 - EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. Even if both are cut, do they look the exact same to you? I'm sure your son's penises look nothing like your husbands or even each others. Or the kids down the block. And that has nothing to do with being cut. Everyone's genitals are different. I've never looked at my moms vagina but I'll put 100 bucks on the fact that it probably looks different than mine.

For us what it just came down to was that it's his body, and his choice. He's the one who has to live with the end result and I'd rather not even take that "small" risk of a complication (the overall complication rate with the surgery itself and the possible after effects such as bleeding out, meatal stenosis, MRSA infections, taking too much skin, skin bridges and excessive scarring is anywhere from 9-30%).

Personally I found it would be much easier to answer "Why didn't you cut off part of my body?" over "Why did you cut off part of my body?". You can get cut later but you can never get uncut.

Try watching the Penn and Teller DVD (Season 3, episode 1) for a pretty balanced point of view (even though they're against it, they do show both sides pretty well). If nothing else, it's a great laugh.

Also, this Dan Savage topic talks about it:
http://www.portlandmercury.com/savagelov…

He's a bit vulgar but he makes a whole lot of sense.

Edit: One big pro to not being circumcised? It's a great shallow woman filter. I wouldn't want my son or daughter to sleep with someone who thinks a person needs cosmetic surgery to be attractive. Not to mention that with the rate being 50/50 (30% cut/70% intact on the west coast too), women or men really aren't going to give a crap by the time your kid is a teen or adult because it's going to be normal to be either.

Answer 17

Hi there. I'm a mom. I'm also an OB nurse who has witnessed plenty of newborn circumcisions.
You know, I used to read Yahoo Answers often and I'd respond to people asking and try to persuade them not to circ. Now, personally, I don't care if you circumcise your son or not. I could state how many of the studies that doctors quote are old, out-dated, and non-pertinent. I could tell you how so many of the mom's who say uncircumcised boys later get "infections" and have to "get cut later on" are mistaken or just blowing smoke at you (the truth is US doctor's try to retract and manipulate penises to the point of causing redness and infections, and then recommending circumcision because they make money off of doing them).
I'm sure other people will tell you that most of the males in the world are uncircumcised and do just fine and how the US rate is now around 50/50, so your son won't be the only boy circumcised or uncircumcised no matter what you decide. I'm sure other people can fill you in on facts as why you don't need to circumcise. As far as why you "should" circumcise, some person named "sarah rr" will be on shortly to spew her pro-circ agenda.
Do what you want to your son. It's no skin off my back. It is skin off of his otherwise normal and healthy penis. But it's your decision, not mine.

So to answer your question, I am a mom and I did NOT have my son circumcised. My husband IS circumcised but we left our son intact. He's never noticed the difference and it's a non-issue in our house. My son has also never had any health or hygiene issues and has both circumcised and non-circumcised friends in his age group.
The reason we left our son intact is because as a nurse, I've seen plenty of botched circumcisions, probably just like what your other son went through. All of the doctors who messed up the circs were very skilled and experienced, but accidents happen and you must be willing to take that chance when you opt for a non-emergency surgery. Major complications are rare, but they do happen. Sometimes minor complications occur and lead to painful skin bridges and wound infections like MRSA. Again, it's rare, but why risk it if it's not necessary?

If your sole reason for wanting to circ your next son is because dad & brother are, I wouldn't worry about it. Your son will always look different than his father and boys don't go around comparing genitals all day long. And most likely you'll be the one potty training him, and you look *really* different than he will, kwim?

Best of luck in your decision.

Answer 18

Yes I got my son circumcised - my husband went in and observed the procedure, and we asked the doctor beforehand what she did and if he could observe. Nothing puts the pressure on doing it right like having an observer :)
I would get him circumcised especially because his Daddy and brother are - he'll feel left out or different at potty training and that'll be a rough time. My sister's boy isn't circumcised and it's miserable to clean - I don't know how she does it. Also - from one woman to another, I've never found a woman who declared she LIKED the look of uncircumcised, and I've found plenty of women who think uncircumcised is disgusting... I'm the same way.

Answer 19

Yes, my first was done as was his Dad, and yes, my second was done- but his Dad is not (European). My second child I left it up to my hubby completely- and he chose to have him cut (I was secretly relieved). My poor hubby had a lot of self esteem issues growing up here in the US, where circumcision is by far the norm amoung his age group- he did not want our son to go through the same thing, worrying about how he was 'different',

But, if my first had had a bad experience with it, i may have felt differently. At the end of the day, your sons will NT be exactly alike,m who cares if their penises aren't either...and these days, NOT circumcising is more common than it was with my husband's peers, 30 years ago It is up to you, go with your heart.

Answer 20

I did circumsise all of my boys and that was one of the reasons. It hard enough to talk about "parts" without having to explain other parts. Make sense? I did, however, use a Jewish Mohel to perform the circumcision on my last two boys. Wow!!!! He was so gentle and done within 30 seconds of cutting. He cut, applied pain killer, put the gauze one (which was prepared before hand), diapered him, and handed him to me to nurse in (literally) a matter of 30 seconds. VERY different from my first boys circumcision. What does dad say? My husband had more say in the circumcision decision than I did since he would be the one doing alot of the "talking" and leading in the boy stuff.

God Bless.

mom of 5 w/ #6 due Nov 08

Answer 21

Circumcised is the way to go. Not being circumcised just invites infection. Not all Dr. or Hospitals make mistakes. I am sorry your other son had to go through that. Anytime you have a medical procedure done there is always a risk. Just be positive. Let the Dr. know of your concern

Answer 22

In my opinion, yes. I had both my son's penis' circumcised because of cleanliness. It is much easier to clean poop from a circumcised than one that isn't. Also, if you don't clean it just right, it can get infected. If you are concerned it will be done wrong, use a different doctor

Answer 23

Both my boys are circumcised because we're Jewish. It's the best decision I could've ever made and not just because of religion. I've met so many mothers of uncircumcised boys going through so many infections and other problems, and THAT is painful!

Answer 24

I have 4 sons, all are circumsised.

I have met 2 men who ran into problems as an adult that would not have happened had they been circumsised.

Answer 25

why mothers only they dont have penises
yes it is much more sanitary

Answer 26

Yep, my son is circ'd like his daddy. We didn't have any problems at all.

Source(s):

Mommy of a 5 month old

Answer 27

I have 2 boys & both are circumcised.