What are some really good mean comebacks?

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it doesnt matter on the situation. once i can just yell at her w/

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Voters

+Take the shoe laces out of your mouth and quit running your mouth.

+A sharp tongue is no indication of a keen mind.

+It is mind over matter. I don't mind, because you don't matter.

+I'm not as dumb as you look.

+I would have liked to insult you, but with your intelligence you wouldn't get offended.

+How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?

+They say that two heads are better than one. In your case, one would have been better than none.

+She's got a body that won't quit and a brain that won't start.

+Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.

+Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent!

+Keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.

+I've seen people like you, but I had to pay admission!

HAHA!! :))

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Answer 2

You got it all wrong. The really good ones aren't mean.

Answer 3

I know you are, but what am I!

Answer 4

If I pour a bottle of Preparation H on your head, will you disappear?

If I lift up that pony tail will I find an asshole?

Oops, you better close your mouth, there's a turd peeking out

How long did it take for your parents to come back for you?

Did it hurt your monkey mama when that head of yours came out?

Oh look, there's a picture of you on the back of the weed killer

If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all and if you are just plain not nice?

We'll see you when we clean out that closet next time we move.

Hey, I smell crap, were you scratching your head again?

What's that I see on your shoulder, is that a dorito? Or is that a Frito? How's about we get it off for you, HERE BIGFOOT, COME AND GET IT!!

Did your mom have any kids that lived?

If you had any balls, I'd use them for hacky sacks

Your mom just called, she wants her placenta back

Tomorrows Thursday (trash day), can you eat your breakfast on the curb?

Here, wear these headphones and listen to some nice loud music. If things get dark for awhile, don't worry, there will be a light coming at you soon enough. If it's hot and red, then hey, YOU'RE HOME

Does your stream of consciousness have any fish in it?

Ah! I see the memo fairy has visited us again.

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

How about never? Is never good for you?

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public

I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.

I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

No, my powers can never be used for good.

You sound reasonable. Time to up the medication.

Who me? I just wander from room to room

And your crybaby, whiney-butt opinion would be?

Do I look like a people person?

This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.

You! Off my planet!

Does your train of thought have a caboose?

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

I am a PBS mind in an MTV world.

Allow me to introduce my selves.

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

Well, your day is a total waste of makeup.

Not all managers are annoying. Some are dead.

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

Stress is when you wake up screaming, and you realize you
haven't fallen asleep yet.

Can I trade this job for what's behind door Number 1?

Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

Nice cologne. Must you marinate in it?

Chaos, panic and disorder. My work here is done

How do I set a laser printer on "stun"?

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted the
paychecks.

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

Answer 5

I'll stop telling the truth about you when you stop telling lies about me