I want a 2nd child, my husband doesnt?

Question

Our son will be 3 yrs old soon and I'm not getting any younger. My husband's been through too much stress and thinks about money not growing on trees and says no to a 2nd child. He says hopefully we'll have a 2nd child in 5 yrs. 5 years!!! What can I do to make it sooner?

Additional Details

Any magic words I can say? lol.

Kt x- lol. good idea!

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

tell him metapause occurs early in some women

(which is true)
i know someone who got it at the age of 30

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

Your answer made me laugh. good idea. Thanks everyone!

Answer 2

nope....you both have to agree

Answer 3

This needs to be an agreement between you and your husband. Nothing you can do can make it be sooner. Except get a really well paying job so that you can have more money.

Answer 4

seduduse him and get pregante women! like how hard could it be.

Answer 5

It takes 2. One of you have to compromise, or you both need to meet in the middle.

Answer 6

Take to him again.
persuasion may yield results

Answer 7

I am in the same boat...mine worries about money and stuff too.I wnat one now though.Or i atleast want to start trying for another, seeing as it could take a while to get pregnant. I have chosen just to wait a little while and let him get used to the idea of another one. Also, I bring it up ALOT so that way he thinks about it more.

Answer 8

The worst thing you can do is trick him by getting PG without discussing it. He will be bitter and feel betrayed. You may end up raising the two all alone as a result. He has a pulse on the finances and if he says you can't afford it at this time, he means it. Why would you want to force something he is against and for a good reason?

Answer 9

Although you both have to agree to have a child...only one of you has to agree NOT to have a child....Tell your husband you are really NOT wanting to wait 5 years...that will be too long and you would like another child now or never..... remind him that it's your body that takes the beating and the older you get the harder it is.....If he still is a no-go...you have five years to change your mind. If he is worried about the money (and you CAN), get a better paying job or an extra job....ask him to spell out just exactly where he wants to be financially in order for it to be OK to have a child...then sit down together and make a plan to get there.together..

Answer 10

Hmmmm this is something the two of you must agree on.

Your husband is very right, money can be tight when the kids are younger and maybe he is thinking of how hard it has been with just one chid and how tough it will therefore be with two.

Maybe the two of you need to sit down and do the calculations of the cost of living in your house, with the three of you now. Often the money issues seem to rest on one or the others shoulders and these responsibilities are not shared. This way the one who does not do the Maths doesn’t have an accurate picture of what is going on….

At least after this exercise, either you will see why he is so uptight or he will see there is room for manoeuvre. Either way you see it from each others point of view too!

Good Luck

Answer 11

Don't force the issue, you've got plenty of time.

If you force the issue, he may feel that it's time to move on.

After about 5 years he'll have forgotten about the terrible twos.

Answer 12

I would say go for it and if he doesn't agree just find another husband!!

Answer 13

Tears, most men will give in gladly if it'll stop the tears... Come on ladies we men all know how it's done... LOL

Source(s):

Father of three...

Answer 14

That is a tricky one, isn't it.
Just tell him, O.K, no baby then no sex. Then he will think of all the sex he COULD be getting if he was trying for a baby.
Or, you could tell him how if the kids were closer in age then they would get along so much better, which would in turn make your lives so much easier!
If you are in Australia, mention the added $5,000 baby bonus a few times.
Yes, money is an issue, but if you leave it too long then money will be a bigger issue if you have to endure the cost of fertility treatment to assist in conception. The natural way is a lot cheaper AND enjoyable, lol.
Good luck!

Answer 15

Maybe you could compromise with how long you wait. Maybe just 2 years when your son is 5, that would be perfect because my then your son could actually help with the baby instead of overhelming you.

Answer 16

Your health and that of another potential child is important. Depending on your age it could be that waiting that long might raise the chances for health problems and complications.

Your husband raises a good point as well. Not only for the immediate future but once they are old enough for college. Now if your 3 y/o attends a 4 year university then it could take more than 4 to graduate. Post graduate studies? Could be 7 or more years of college. Thus having a child sooner increases the possibility of 2 children in college at the same time. Without proper finances and/or scholarships then this could indeed pose a financial hardship. Or it could cause one to wait/delay education thus making it harder to go back if ever.

The economy today is scary to many. The rising cost of fuel and other goods makes everything more expensive. As if children are not already expensive enough! ;)

Try to have the conversation with him at a time when you're not feeling to strongly emotional about it. It helps to keep a level head to discuss things calmly. I'd avoid this month as it's tax season. Also avoid any particular time of the month when things are stretched thin or bills are due. Since you've mentioned that being a consideration for him.

Don't discount his fears and concerns. I don't know yours or his ages but it's also important to consider age at the time the children are older. He might already be planning things like how much longer till the two of you can go out without a baby sitter? How much longer till the house belongs to the two of you again because your current child will be grown in and in college? Maybe he's concerned with trying to save for your 3 year olds college, retirement for the two of you, and how to pay the bills and live comfortably in between. Try to consider these before bringing up the conversation so that you can have your own points to bring up to help in your talk.

The longer you wait the less the children will have in common with each other. So they can bond as siblings before they are adults you don't want to wait too long. As costs rise so will the cost of raising a child. Waiting will not make it any more affordable. If anything waiting will make it more expensive. At this point it would still be acceptable to save from the older child and use those items for the new child. If the crib and things are already gone at least things like clothes would work.

Let him know you respect how he feels but you would like for him to consider your point of view as well. Make logical points. Men tend to think logically and us women tend to think emotionally. So while you can add emotional points try not to get too emotional during the conversation. And please don't do as someone else said and try to get pregnant by deceit. This will only cause problems later. It can break the trust he has in you even if he is eventually happy and would give his life for the child you have yet to conceive. You want him to be happy with the decision.

Logic. Find all the logical points possible. Make a list of the pro's and con's of having another child sooner rather than later. Then ask for his input. Weight the options. Hopefully it will work to your advantage.

Best of luck.

Answer 17

be like:
if you love me then you would give me another child. no questions asked.