Is it possible to make yourself stop loving someone?

Question

i am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason and that anything is possible, but i also believe that no matter what happens or has happened, you would never stop loving someone. people always say you were my first love...well if you keep falling in love then doesnt that mean that you dont exactly know what love is? well... can you force yourself to not love someone? maybe by pretending like you really want to be with someone else? or am i dumb in thinking theres still a chance?

Additional Details

when i said pretending to want to be with someone else, i meant was it possible that he could be doing that, not myself. i am the one that wants him back and he leads me on and then just breaks my heart...

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

Love is considering the self interest of another as if it were your own.

This consideration is typically an emotional decision. There is something about the Love Object you find emotionally pleasing.

Your Heart made the decision, then you asked your Mind to help out. Which is more or less how humans work. Emotions tells us what we want; Logic tells us how to get it.

"Am I dumb in thinking there's still a chance?"

You aren't THINKING there's a chance. (Mind)
You are HOPING there's a chance. (Heart)
And so your Mind is trying to get what your Heart wants.

Got it? The Heart Desires the Mind Acquires.

Logically understanding that a Love is Stupid or Doomed won't change the decision to Love because the decision wasn't made Logically.

To stop Loving you must EMOTIONALLY focus on the moments or concepts your Mind has LOGICALLY interpreted to mean the Love is Stupid or Doomed.

Like the time they stood you up. The time you caught them cheating. The fact they're too stupid to know what a great person you are. Focus your Heart on this and POP! you're out of Love in no time.

But if you Emotionally ignore these things, & focus your Heart on How sexy they look or What a good kisser they are, or That time they were sooo sweet to you; then you are telling your Heart to stay in Love & and tasking you Mind to figure out how to make the Love happen.

And it doesn't matter if your Mind says there's no way. The Heart will just tell Mind to find one. Over and over and over.

Good luck.

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

thanks alot, i think for the most part i got what you were saying


follow your heart and not your mind??

Answer 2

No, I don't believe you can...because of fate though...and everything happening for a reason...those feelings can just fade away. There are many people that I have no contact with now, nor have for years, but they still hold a special place in my heart.

Answer 3

You may not be able to force yourself, but it'll happen with time. I have love for my first love, but only in a very platonic way. Time heals wounds, and that's no exception.

Answer 4

i think you can love someone and know that you dont need to be with that person. or know that no matter how much you love them, it will never work out for whatever reason.
you cant change how your heart feels...it just takes some time to see the reality in the situation,,,especially when you think there is no one else in the world for you..... trust me there will be something bigger and better! more than you can even imagine:) be positive about it and you will be fine:)

Answer 5

You can fall in love a million different times and a million different ways because love is only an emotion like any other. We get sad, happy, etc... People put way to much importance on the emotion of "love" and not enough on the real things that you should look at (mutual respect and trust) come to mind.

Answer 6

You have control over your emotions. It's typically not a light switch you can turn on and off, but things that have beginnings, also have endings (including love).

While you may love someone the rest of your life, you can work through it and change it from a romantic love to something more plantonic like you feel for friends and family. Why cling to a romantic love for someone you aren't with or cannot be with? How unfair to hold on to that and take it into future relationships, when the person you are with deserves all the romantic love you have to give (not what is left from your past relationship).

I do not believe "everything happens for a reason" beyond the reason being cause and effect. You throw a rock into a pond (cause), ripples occur in the water (effect). The "reason" for the ripples, is the rock hitting the water.

There is no limit to how many times someone can fall in love, or with a specific number of people at one time. Why would there be? The human heart has an infinite capacity for love, if we are open to it. ☺

Answer 7

I think not.

Answer 8

heres the thing...love doesnt last forever. It changes forms, sometimes all your life, but love will never overcome everything. Forgivness grows wider when you love someone, but when they make a bigger mistake, i believe you stop loving them. I know i have. And you can love more than 1 person. dont throw yourself at someone else you dont care about in order to forget that person, but dont wallow all alone either. Good luck, sorry this answer is kind of vague but its a difficult question.... ^.^

Answer 9

Time will heal all broken wounds. So yes, you can stop loving someone. It just takes time.

Answer 10

Well you could quit allowing him back to break your heart over and over again. Keep telling yourself what a jerk he is for treating you this way. Don't think any nice thoughts about him. He can't be all that great if he continues to break your heart.

Answer 11

you are not dumb for thinking that, you are just like everybody else..don't want to get hurt and I really don't think no one knows exacty what love is..if you keep falling in love with every person u date or have a reationship with,,it only means that you put your heart into this person before you both can establish what your feelings are towards each other..love can easily get confused with kindness,bieng flirtatious Lust and friendship..I don't know how old you are, but as you get older
you will know a little more about it.. I am sorry to tell you this but you will NEVER UNDERSTAND IT."" LOVE is a powerful
word.. that takes your feelings for a ride....

Answer 12

wow.u got issues.everything DOES happen for a reason.and no there is no such thing as karma or all tht jazz.u can stop loving someone.believe it.love has many definitions so no definite conclusion ok.u cant force urself to not love some1.u cant help who u fall for most of the time.and YES,u can pretend u like someone well enough.its the biggest trick yet.and if u hv been talking abt u,u r waaaay behind cos u sound like u r in loooooooove and trying to fall out of it.

Source(s):

i kno cos u asked too many questions abt basically the same thing.