Can someone help me to fix this paragraph and to make sound professional meaning college level?

Question

i need to proof read it any suggestions
and this has to be convey an audience,place or perosn and we got this idea froma essay of JAMAICA KINCAID and so i tried to do it like hers these are her first sentences of her essay "Girl," "wash the white clothes on monday and put them on the stone heap; wash the color clothes on tuesday and put them on the clothsline to dry;dont walk barehead.....(and keeps goingin that style with no points)

Check Cashing Cashier
Be respectful with clients and coworkers. Promote the company’s name. Be exclusive, remember that you are not the only one doing this job and if people do not like the service, they would prefer another place. Avoid showing you are inexpert; they might notice it and won’t want you to serve them. Be careful on whom you trust, you must not allow strangers to enter in your working area. Some people might want to trick you for the lack of preparation that you might show. Someone might want to cheat you by giving you fake money or checks. Once you receive an amount for a payment count the money, and do it three times if you have to. Dealing with money is a serious thing. Always give customers their change back, even pennies. Be an employee of trust, never steal or keep anything, remember if this happens to you, it will harm your reputation for the rest of your life. Also, do not mix your personal problems with your job. Never show them an upset face, instead, smile all the time. Always show your clients that you care not only about their collaboration but also about their health and life, and so this is how you gain tips and charisma, an option would be to ask them how they feel during the past weekend. The purpose is to make them feel comfortable, like in their house. You don’t want to let them leave worse than when they enter. Also always keep this in mind; do your best, pay 110% attention to your clients. Business is about Professionalism. You have to show everyone; your coworkers, boss and clients that you have that position for a reason; you are professional and prepared.

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

Hi, you need to break these up into paragraphs. I have left that to you.

Here's a start. I hope it helps. Suggestions, etc are in capitals and *'s show changes.


Be respectful with clients and coworkers. Promote the company’s name. Be *CHOSE ANOTHER WORD PLEASE exclusive*, remember that you are not the only one doing this job and if people do not like the service, they *may take their business to *another place. Avoid showing you are *inexperienced* *.* *They* might notice it and *not* want you to serve them. Be careful *of* whom you trust*.* *You* must not allow strangers to enter in your working area. Some people might want to trick you for the lack of preparation that you might show. Someone might want to cheat you by giving you fake money or checks. Once you receive an amount for a payment*,* count the money, and do it three times if you have * the need+ *ENDED IN PREPOSITION PREVIOUSLY. Dealing with money is a serious thing. Always give customers their change back, even pennies. Be an employee of trust*.* *Never* steal or keep anything *.* *Remember* if this happens to you, it will harm your reputation for the rest of your life.

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thanks