Do you think a relationship "caste system" exists in America (wether we like it or not)?

Question

I was sitting around with my buddies this Saturday night and we were having a "guys only" BBQ -- we started talking about women and I was the only one amongst the guys that never had a girlfriend (We are all in our early 20's)... So they started listing "potential candidates" for me... each time one lists one, then they change their minds either on the basis: " I think she has higher standards than that" -- well... I guess they are right -- they were sympathizing with me about this -- one of them even commented: "Caste system sucks man"... I am sort of at the bottom rung of this invisible caste system, I guess... If such a caste system exists?

Not so much among friends, but when it comes to the opposite sex people have "Standards" - both sides - I think it is fair to say that no respectable female that had the choice of any of the others would go for me - and so this means that I must lower my "standard" and stay within my caste?

Could this Hierarchy assessment be true?

Additional Details

The BBQ was fun anyway... lol : )

It got me to thinking though...

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

The "caste system" exist everywhere, not just in America. It is nice to stay within your reach, you will be more confortable that way. I have date people within my "caste" and people above my "caste" and let me tell you that dating someone above you is way too much work and constant keeping up, trying to prove yourself is draining. So don't reach too high, stay within your reach is best.

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

Best to stay with your own, I guess...

Answer 2

You can stay within your own caste system or improve your personality. I have known 3 guys in my life that are just plain butt ugly. Theres no other way to put it. They all had the sweetest and prettiest wives or girlfriends. Its cuz their personalities shined through and they were positive confident men. These women had sweet personalities so they didnt even see that these men were ugly. One guy even had this deformity on his face that would shock you if you suddenly came across him.
So you can go with the caste system or learn how to be a positive caring confident guy that attracts women from any caste.

Answer 3

Could be as far as socio-economic status, but have a little self-esteem!! You'd be surprised at what a positive attitude will get you. I'm not the ugliest girl in the world, but I'm not Miss America either, but I've had boyfriends since I was 18 (and I'm now 26 and engaged...), because I have a good personality and good self esteem. I think with just a little bit of that you can find girls too. The caste system is not true in every case....

Answer 4

Sounds like you have low self-esteem. If you don't think you have anything to offer, work on improving yourself. Go back to school, workout, buy new clothes, etc. Work on your attitude and confidence too, that's like 80% of attraction anyways.

Answer 5

raise your status and dont burn bridges along the way.
work on your looks go to the gym
you get what you give
and no matter what dont show weakness because no matter how poor or ugly you are, you can stilll be the shitts

Answer 6

I'd call it having standards, but yes, there's a definite caste system in relationships. IF there wasn't , we'd go out with anyone, marry anyone. But no, we're selective, and then when people say we could do better, we wonder y and might act accordingly. IT's all about breeding i think. Friends come and go; but ur dates, could be ur mates one day, and u could bear kids with them...so better to be selective. I mean, even if u don't intend to do so, it' not easy to let someone u start to have feelings for go...so to avoid potential drama, people start selection early on(some), and others don't. IT all depends on the person.

Answer 7

Maybe in some cases. But in others, fortune favors the bold. You might be self-limiting your options by creating caste barriers where they don't exist.

I see all kinds of shlubby guys with great women. I think in a lot of cases, it's more a matter of the guy willing to take a risk and go after what he wants than anything else. Just make sure whoever you're pursuing is worth it, I guess.

Answer 8

Each individual has qualities they want in their potential partner. Some are deal breakers and some aren't. It completely depends on the individuals involved. If you find someone attractive, go for it. Don't limit yourself based on your perception of their perception of you-it is a self fulfilling prophecy if you never try.

Answer 9

If you have enough money, you could date any chick you want. That's all they really care about when it comes right down to it.

Answer 10

no, no caste system. if there was you would have to be born into it with no hopes of escape. You have to ask what are these higher standards. Do you burp and fart? thats an easy fix. Do you need to lose weight. You would be amazed at what a good haircut can do.

Answer 11

I hear you, man. Essentially, you are correct. Women tend to form social hierarchies, and a woman will not date someone who appears to be of lower “social status” than her. For women, her social status among other women is often based upon how she looks, dresses, or how much money that she appears to have. For guys, it is different. A woman tries to measure the social status of a man based on his perceived confidence level. If a man appears to be self confident based on his body language (sits up or stands up straight; makes good eye contact but does not stare, blows off rejections as if it were noting, is friendly & at ease in social situations, is funny, can carry on an entertaining conversation w/anyone by telling stores about his own life, etc.), then she assumes that he must be popular, and is therefore a person of high social status. Women want the alpha male to whom other males look up to, so that she, in turn, can impress her girlfriends and make them jealous.

You can improve your perceived “social status” if you have certain personality traits that make you seem comfortable in your own skin. The problem is, most guys don't know what those traits are. As long as you have done the best you can with what you have (good grooming, good fashion), your looks, and the actual size of your bank account, matter less than what you think.

Most guys do the things that repulse women instead: act too nice, too needy, too desperate, call too much, pay her too much attention, buy her expensive dinners & other things to buy her attention, never stand up to her, etc.

Try going to some of the dating websites and looking for free dating advice newsletters that many of them put out. It couldn't hurt, and it tends to build your self-confidence if you think that you know what you are doing:

Source(s):

http://www.doubleyourdating.com/e/10000/…

http://www.platinumpositivity.com/

Answer 12

Yes. It exists by default. Just like in a big company,, you have employees and staff.

Men achieve higher status with money power or fame.

Women have status based on looks alone. It is their only asset.

Men are an appreciating asset,,, women depreciate as they age.. Somewhere around 30 years old for a woman is the sell by date,, after 30 it is down hill fast till about 35 when they are done. Men just get started at 35 and appreciate from there on.

Oh,, you want examples,,,,, ok look at Hollywood men like Tom Cruz,, he is high value,, he married a girl a lot younger because he can....... HE would not be with her if she was 35!!!


So if you want fine women,,, you need to make $$$$$$$