How is ignoring someone ever a good solution to a relationship problem?

Question

So often in 'Answers' I've seen people suggesting to ignore someone if that person is being too demanding, upsetting, etc in the hope that they will give-up and go away or otherwise 'get the hint' and change their behaviour.

I admit that I'm naive and old-fashioned but how is this ever a 'good' solution?

Why not actually talk to the person if they believe there is a problem in the relationship? At least give both parties the opportunity to make their points and possibly resolve an issue. By not talking with them, aren't you more likely to increase their anxiety and thus make them *more* demanding, upsetting, etc?

...and, after you've talked (perhaps a few times), and the issue is still not resolved (in the person's mind), if the demanding person is still bugging you, what do you do then? Is *this* the time when ignoring them is possibly the *only* solution?

Thoughts, please...

Additional Details

Another point that makes this difficult..

If the demanding person has been a good, close friend for a long time and we've had a good relationship where we generally talk about anything and everything, 'going silent' would seem to be one of the worst things to do and would be out of character for me. That 'change in behaviour' would be even more distressing, I would think...

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

Good question.. my best friend of 8 years always ignored me.. always blamed **** on me that I never did. I never could understand it and I asked her why she always feels the need to ignore.. she says it helps prevents her from saying something that she later regrets..

I don't know if I believe that.. Sometimes it is needed to voice your anger in a controlled manner to deal with the issue at hand and then find a solution and be done with it, instead of bottling up everyting inside of you and leaving the situation unresolved. It is not a healthy way to deal with problems. I feel that people ignore when they see that they cannot win the battle. I feel they are scared to admit their mistakes.. or own up to them so they see the only way out is to ignore it and run from it. However, who really knows.. I am not a person who ignores, I face the situation logically and open the lines of communication. I think ignoring is a slow agonizing and prolonging way of dealing with mistakes and in the long run, only worsens the friendship at hand.

Nice question man..

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

From a couple of sources, it seems to ask to talk about things is seen as being too demanding and some 'friends' don't have it in them to be able to talk when there's problems. Many people 'close down' because they can't/won't deal with giving/feeling the pain of being honest with their friend.

Answer 2

Its not a good solution the people who answer the questions I'm not insulting them, but think that its easy to just push people out of your life. Its not. sometimes you really want to keep that person in your life you just want to stop what they are doing at the moment or the way they have been acting. If its something thats always happened and its a permanent part of their personality then they won't change! you can't just ditch people left and right. i don't understand why some people think that people are always smart enough to "take a hint after awhile" or "get bored and give up" because alot of the time they aren't like that.