Do you think we need a little lightening up here? I've posted this before but it still app;ies...?

Question

Some brilliant and brittle statements. Enjoy.
> > >>
> > >> Subject: queer quotes...
> > >>
> > >> If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in sick
> > >> to work: "Hello. Can't work today, still queer."
> > >> ~ Robin Tyler (This lady is Robin Cherniak from Wpg.
> > >> a grade or two behind me in same schools, if I recall)
> > >>
> > >> I'd rather be black than gay because when you're black
> > >> you don't have to tell your mother.
> > >> ~ Charles Pierce
> > >>
> > >> "Dear Abby," In response to a reader who complained
> > >> that a gay couple was moving in across the street and
> > >> wanted to know what he could do to improve the quality
> > >> of the neighborhood. 'You could move.'
> > >> ~ Abigail Van Buren.
> > >>
> > >> The one bonus of not lifting the ban on gays in the
> > >> military is that the next time the government mandates
> > >> a draft, we can all declare we are homosexual instead
> > >> of running off to Canada .
> > >> ~ Lorne Bloch
> > >>
> > >> Why can't they have gay people in the army?
> > >> Personally, I think they are just afraid of a thousand
> > >> guys with M16s going, "Who'd you call a ******?"
> > >> ~ Jon Stewart
> > >>
> > >> My lesbianism is an act of Christian charity. All
> > >> those women out there praying for a man, and I'm
> > >> giving them my share.
> > >> ~ Rita Mae Brown
> > >>
> > >> Soldiers who are not afraid of guns, bombs, capture,
> > >> torture or death say they are afraid of homosexuals.
> > >> Clearly we should not be used as soldiers; we should
> > >> be used as weapons.
> > >>
> > >> ~ Letter to the Editor, The Advocate
> > >> You don't have to be straight to be in the military;
> > >> you just have to be able to shoot straight.
> > >> ~ Barry Goldwater
> > >>
> > >> Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable
> > >> seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?
> > >> ~ Ernest Gaines
> > >>
> > >> My own belief is that there is hardly anyone whose
> > >> sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the
> > >> world at large with surprise and horror.
> > >> ~ W. Somerset Maugham
> > >>
> > >> Drag is when a man wears everything a lesbian won't.
> > >> ~ted northe
> > >>
> > >> If male homosexuals are called "gay," then female
> > >> homosexuals should be called "ecstatic."
> > >> ~ Shelly Roberts
> > >>
> > >> My mother took me to a psychiatrist when I was fifteen because
she
> > thought
> > >> I was a latent homosexual. There
> > >> was nothing latent about it.
> > >> ~ Amanda Bearse
> > >>
> > >> It always seemed to me a bit pointless to disapprove
> > >> of homosexuality. It's like disapproving of rain....
> > >> ~ Francis Maude
> > >>
> > >> The only queer people are those who don't love
> > >> anybody....
> > >> ~ Rita Mae Brown
> > >>
> > >> The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals
> > >> and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't
> > >> mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals.It's just
> > >> that they need more supervision.
> > >> ~ Lynn Lavner
> > >>
> > >> If Michelangelo had been straight, the Sistine Chapel
> > >> would have been wallpapered.
> > >> ~Robin Tyler
> > >>
> > >> Pronouns make it hard to keep our sexual orientation a
> > >> secret when our co-workers ask us about our weekend.
> > >> "I had a great time with... them." Great! Now they
> > >> don't think you're queer - just a big ****!
> > >> ~Judy Carter
> > >>
> > >> I get sick of listening to straight people complain
> > >> about, "Well, hey, we don't have a heterosexual-pride
> > >> day, why do you need a gay-pride day?" I remember when
> > >> I was a kid I'd always ask my mom: "Why don't we have
> > >> a Kid's Day? We have a Mother's Day and a Father's
> > >> Day, but why don't we have
> > >> a Kid's Day?" My mom would always say, "Every day is
> > >> Kid's Day." To all those heterosexuals that *****
> > >> about gay pride, I say the same thing: Every day is
> > >> heterosexual-pride day! Can't you people enjoy your
> > >> banquet and not piss on those of us enjoying our
> > >> crumbs over here in the corner?
> > >> --Adam Rowland
> > >>
> > >>
> >



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Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

Oh, it hurts. Tea just came out my nose, I laughed so hard

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

:)

Answer 2

I loved it before, and still do. good quotes always bear repeating!

Answer 3

yeah! thank you!

Answer 4

Those were great, and most quite true. I laughed at the work one...and I think Dorkis was the one writing to Dear Abby...

Answer 5

I finally found out who did the 6 admonishment quote! Thanks, Dearest, but I'm still not going to tell the Thumpies...I'm going to make them track them down for themselves like I did!

Answer 6

you even made the straight guy laugh! *applause* lol

Answer 7

Lol thanks for brightening my day... err night. :-)

Answer 8

Lol I love it. I have to profess ignorance and say I didn't know who some of the people were (Adam Rowland?), but that doesn't negate the funniness of it. A gold star for you.

Answer 9

Very funny. Thanks Dan.

Answer 10

Here, here to Heterosexual day=Kidz Day! It's like Alice in Wonderland's non-B-day Birthday! ha ha Always love stupid human info..thanx

Answer 11

HAHA thanks!

Answer 12

Thanks again.
Rose p.

Answer 13

I am very happy you posted this wonderful collection of very pointed jokes. It shows that laughter is the best medicine for us all. When we can laugh with ourselves and at ourselves we are secure in our self esteem and dignity.

Thank you.

Answer 14

What a Hoot! I'd never heard at least half of those...thanks for sharing, man!