Is it true that when we confide in someone, we are automatically trusting them?

Question

This thought from an acquaintance spurred my thinking. I confided something and told him to not tell person A about this. He replied saying, if I did not trust him, I should not have said anything in the first place. But when I make a decision to share something, it automatically means I need to trust. Thoughts? Is it wrong to divulge something and then then tell the person (even if it's a friend we totally trust) to not tell anyone? Is it insulting to them when we ask them that?

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Voters

On a subconscious level, I think you have to trust them to confide something private to them.

Answer 2

Confiding in a person is not particularly trusting them. You will never be safe to assume that you do not need to clarify any terms on information you relate to another. I do not agree with your friend. There are many instances where one person confides information with another and does not specifically say they should not share it with anyone else. Then the other person tells it because it wasn't considered "secret" to him/her and therefore they didn't think it would matter to tell it. That is just one example of assuming trust in another person and being let down.

But you could turn it around also. Say you divulge some info to person A and do not clarify to him/her not to tell anyone else. You can test them to see how good their judgement is and how trustworthy a person they are based upon how many people they share the info with and whith whom they share it.

Answer 3

i think it is becausewe are looking to them for someone to talk to or even who will believe you, who wont tell anyone else. wich is almost like trust?

Answer 4

when you let someone in on something... that makes you vulnerable in the process.. you are trusting they wont harm you... Or else you wouldnt let them in right? Unless you want them to be the 'judas'.

What I have found is that when you tell someone 'not to tell' they usually do. If you are ever tempted to say 'but dont tell them', you are much better off never engaging in that conversation in the first place. If you do anyways, its because your a drauma queen and lack the discipline.

Yes, it is insulting to some people to say 'but dont tell them'. If that person is tempted to tell them, but put in a bind because you dont want them to tell... You didnt help that person out at all, infact they are set up for failure no matter what they do. Hold back and fight that nagging temptation, or be the drauma queen their temptations invoke.

Same situation as you, you were tempted to tell them (against better judgement {which is why you said 'but dont tell them'}) but couldnt fight the temptation. How do you expect them to do even better than you with drauma that doesnt even effect them?