What should i do? my 11 month old keeps hitting me whenever i scold her gently.?

Question

my baby girl is 11 months old and is usually pretty good. but lately whenever i scold her about something or take her hand away from something she cant have she slaps me, usually in the face. i scold her again and she just slaps me again. i dont want to slap her back because she doesnt understand the consequences yet . also, if she gets in trouble for hitting me and then i turn around and do the same thing to her that will confuse her. ive also tried distracting her with toys but she crawls back over to me and hits my leg. she also slaps her 14 yr old sister in the face whenever she (the sister) tries to give her a kiss. my older daughter gets so upset and the baby just laughs. HELP!!!!

Answer 1

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Actually, I'm starting to think that hitting back would work wonders. I mean, kids her age bite because they don't realize it hurts and when they are bit back they stop. In all seriousness, slap her hands when she hits you. One or two times of that will make her realize that hitting hurts and if she doesn't want to be hit herself--then she shouldn't hit you.

Answer 2

hahahaha lmao..

thats funny

Answer 3

put some BOOM in your voice
say NO loud and Booming, it works with my son

Answer 4

Time out. You are right, you can't hit her back and you can't let her get away with it. So use time outs. Let her know that she can't hit and that she can't get what she wants. She will fight it and cry, etc. But sooner or later she will associate getting a time out with hitting and will stop.

Answer 5

you should tell her that she's doing wrong and gently slap her hand when she does that.

Answer 6

you should pop her little hands firmly just enough to get her attention. Look her in the eyes and say no you don't hit. You don't like it when someones hits you.

Answer 7

You may have no choice, but to hit her back lightly to teach her the difference between right and wrong. This situation can only get worse if left unchecked.

Answer 8

Don't be afraid to lightly slap her hand. She is not to young to understand consequences and she will never learn them if you don't start sometime.

Answer 9

Welcome to toddlerhood! I have a 15 month old that thinks that No means Yes. She, too, slaps and is now starting to bite when she doesn't get her way. Other than that, she's a really layed back little girl.

What I have been doing is taking her hand and gently tapping it saying in a firm voice "No...no hitting!" Or I will gently tap her mouth (not enough to make her cry, but to startle her) and tell her "No, no biting....that hurts!" Sometimes it works. You just need to be CONSISTANT in whatever that you try. Otherwise, your child won't know that you mean business.

Source(s):

Experience!

Answer 10

DO NOT, let that child smack you. My friend, slapped her mom when she was little, she slappes her 100 times more now. She will grow up to be a little twirp. When she slaps you, put her in her room and keep her there until she stops wining and promises to stop slapping you. If she doesn't stop, spank her. You are NOT supposed to let a child slap you. When you get old, she will think she is allowed to hit you.(but don't hit as hard as you should a child.)

Answer 11

Any time your child uses violence you give her one swat on the tail. It will not take long and she will figure out that violence will get her spanked. Don't forget to tell her no and don't show any emotion. It worked with my son.

Answer 12

When she slaps you, yell ow loud, tell her NO and that she hurt you. If she continues to hit you, yell ow and NO and put her in bed! Or you can try thumping the back of her hand. It won't really hurt, but will get her attention.

Answer 13

When my daughter went through this phase, I would swat her butt and tell her in a loud voice, "YOU DON'T HIT PEOPLE!" and if necessary, I would smack her hands. At 11 months old, she has some inkling that hitting like she is, is wrong since she doesn't see her family hitting each other. You just have to get your point across. The sooner you get the point across, the sooner this phase will pass. My doctor said that this is a normal rite of passage.

Answer 14

And some say children learn violence... My daughter, now 2, went through that phase. I would take her hand in a firm, but painless grip, and tell her no hitting in a very sharp voice. It only took a few times for this to work. Children learn quickly the difference between right and wrong, just as they learn the difference between acceptable behavior and discipline. My daughter knows that hitting is wrong, but she also knows what a spanking is. They are two distinctly different words. The older daughter should do the same thing, conveying that hitting, particularly in the face, is unacceptable behavior. The phase shouldn't last too long. Good luck.

Answer 15

Next time your 111 month old does something wrong pop her, but right after you pop her take her & make her sit in time out. Or just start taking things away & just explain to her that she will not get them back until she can start behaving like a good girl. Don't try to distract her with toys after she does something wrong b/c that's just rewarding her for her attitude. She will think that every time she gets in trouble....She will have the upper hand. You don't want that b/c what will happen when she gets older?????

Answer 16

My question 4 u dear is are you hitting people in front of her. The reason is babies only copy what they have seen. If so stop doing that and when she hits you you should slap her hand and frimly say NO! Don't hit mommy again. then send her to time out. You are being too nice with her she thinks its a game when its not. You have to be firm to stop her. Let your yes be yes and your NO NO. Things are going to get worse before they get better. But keep with it and it will work.

Source(s):

The Dr.Phill Show/Personal life

Answer 17

you should talk to her looking into her eyes in a low voice so she knows mommy is upset at her behavior.you should not hit her cuz thats just showing her to b angry and to hit when she is angry or cant get her way.not only that when she gets older she'll think its ok 2 hit other kids.babys will understand you if u constantly say the same thing over and over again.learn 2 b the parent and let the child b a child.

Answer 18

If she hits you slap her gently on the hand she used. This isn't child abuse. You are just showing her what it feels like. Say "No" when you do this, "That hurts me, see what it feels like." You might only have to do this a few times. My little sister had a horrible biting problem she would draw blood!!! After over a year of this and many attacks even to none family members (very embarrassing), my Dad finally hit the roof and took her out to the shed grabbed his wrench and threatened to pull every last one of her teeth out unless whe promised never to bite anyone again. Guess what she never did again! I think my Dad went a little over the top, he was born in 1927.

Studies argue corporal punishment both ways. But remember your just smacking the hand she used to hit you.

If you want the Christian approach, you could turn the other cheek and let her smack that until she realizes its futile, But I would think a child would think that was a sort of Peek-a-boo game.

Best of Luck,

And remember no matter what you do when she becomes a teenager it was wrong and all her problems are your fault.
hehehehe

Answer 19

I am trying to deal with the slapping thing with my 9 month old. I have begun to realize this, I think that he thinks my reaction to the slap (and hair pulling) is funny. So lately I just put his arms to the side and tell him gently no slapping, that hurts. I don't make a huge deal of it or sound real upset or make any face (unless it really hurts and I can't help it) and since he hasn't been getting a big reaction he seems to be loosing interest. Good Luck

Answer 20

My daughter, who just turned one, exhibits the same sort of behavior. Well, she doesnt exactly slap, she more like pushes sharply. I tell her that sort of behaviour is unacceptable, and that's pretty much all you can do at this age I think. The fact that they have a smile on their face and are laughing about it means they think it is a game. Sorta like when they drop things on the floor and watch to see if you'll pick it up, and cry if you dont - you give it back, only for them to throw it on the floor again. My daughter doesnt push me away when I try to kiss her, but she does with her adorable cousins who try to hug and kiss her. She's not laughing with them though, she seriously wants her space! Babies dont know how to handle their emotions, which are apparently all over the place, but you are right to think hitting her back wont accomplish anything except scaring her perhaps into a crying fit. With time I'm sure she will come to accept that hitting isnt proper, and will stop.

And, uh, no... my girl has never seen someone be slapped before. This is normal baby behaviour, I think!

Answer 21

I would say don't hit her. Kids imitate the behavior they see and hitting is no way to teach her no to hit. I have used time out and it has worked pretty good. I don't know however if 11 months is too young; another thing that has worked for me is holding my kids hands. She might be trying to get attention from it, so I would firmly say "we don't hit, mommy" and sit her away from me and do something else, directing your attention to something else and not her hitting.

Answer 22

You're going to have to do more than just gently scold her, for her to get the point. B/c obviously she's not getting it that way. While it's true that she doesn't cognitively understand a consequence for her actions, she can understand response to stimuli, like Pavlov's dogs. If even a dog can be conditioned to respond to a certain stimulus, then certainly a human baby can. If you promptly tell her "No! That hurts!" firmly and then pop her hand, and do this EVERY time, she will eventually get the point--"if I slap Mommy or my sister, it hurts!" Of course you're not going to hurt her severely enough to leave a mark or anything like that. You're going to hardly hurt her at all. What you're doing is providing negative reinforcement for her actions. She will understand that she is going to experience discomfort (a pop on the hand) when she does that action (slapping you or her sister). If you pop her hand and tell her "No! We do not hit. That hurts!"...and she immediately does it a second time, remove her from the situation and put her in her bed. She will howl. Not because you are hurting her in any way, but because she is not getting her way--she's not being allowed to go around hitting. While she's throwing her fit, you tell her gently but firmly: "When you are quiet, I will come get you. No fits." And walk away. You will have to repeat these two steps a few times. She will not get it the first time. Or the second or third. lol But if you are CONSISTENT with this routine, she will eventually learn that throwing that fit will not get her out of her bed/crib any faster. Now once she is quiet in her crib, and you can tell it's not just a small break between howls, immediately go to her and say "Good girl!! You're being quiet! You're not throwing any fits. Good job!" And lift her out and give her a big hug. This is positive reinforcement. In the future when you see her about to hit, say her name in that motherly warning voice you know you have LOL, and say "No hitting!" If she stops, you praise her and maybe give her a hug. But if she keeps right on going, follow the above procedures. Good luck.

Hope all this has helped a little. I've worked with children for years, and have a daughter of my own. She's five months old, and is beginning to understand "no fits!" LOL

Answer 23

Say owie loudly and really play it up.

Or you could just say no like you mean it. My 8 month old knows more from tone that no means no, not so much from the word.

Answer 24

When she slaps you take her hand and say "No hitting" in a very firm very no nonsense voice do not scream but make sure your voice is very firm very definate... Then immediately place her in a time out situation... Watch her carefully if she trys to leave the time out spot immediately put her back and say "No you have time out because you hit"... Make the time out short 1-2 minutes... But make sure she knows why she is there...

Be vigilant and make sure that everyone in the family knows the pla is a very firm "No hitting", gently taking hand so she can not hit again and an immediate time out (same spot every time)...

Your youngest dughter has learned somewhere along the way that hitting gains her immediate attention you have to change her view so she knows hitting will only gain her time out and a stern "NO"... Try to keep an eye out because at some point your daughter is going to raise her hand to hit and will then pause... Jump on it... Tell her "Very good you didn't hit" Praise the change in behavior as quickly as you recognize it.. Praise the good behavior, Time out the poor behavior... Your daughter will quickly modify her behavior to gain the praise..

Consistancy, Vigilance, and Team Work... Make your older child your helper make sure she knows the exact plan of action...

At 11 months your daught does understand that slapping is an action and her action is illiciting a response... Cause/effect... Wait no longer to change the effect so you can stop the cause... Don't fool yourself into thinking she is too young to understand consequences.. She understands already her actions illicit a reaction the effect is a consequence of the cause...

Answer 25

My son started doing that a few months ago. Slapping his hands only made him do it more. So when he started to hit (or did hit), I would hold his hand and say firmly "No hitting". Then I would show him how he could touch me. I would help him pat my cheek and stroke my arm while telling him "Gentle touches". It has worked quite well.

Last weekend, we took him to visit some family who had a small dog. When he started to get a bit rough with her, we would remind him "Gentle touches" and he would pat her tummy.

She doesn't know what she's doing hurts, but she also doesn't know what TO do. I think it's better to show her how to be gentle than reinforce the hitting.

Answer 26

Who taught her to hit? Or where did she see it?