Should parents continue to finance their children after the children are 18?

Question

Were there many children in your family?
Do you think that children are different today from the time when you were child? Or from 50 years ago? 100 years ago?
What is the most important thing that we need to teach children?

Additional Details

Okay, I'm trying to pick best answer for 2 days now. This is hard to do since there are so many answers. There are quite a few good ones too. I really like Royrox, YahooGuru2u, loveydovey26, navymiliarybrat16, mammarat, treznorfan, the julster, celticwoman1953, eehco, becky92106, candy, momoverboar, tamborine and Rarrr6302 plus some others. Thanks everyone.

Pat L- I feel for you. Sometimes, it is hard to watch, but you might have to let them hit bottom before they realize what is good for their own being. I know it is much easier to type and say then do but keep praying.

I feel kids are just a bit different then 50 or 100 years ago but mostly they are the same. Like YahooGuru2u says "Children still need nurturing, love, boundaries and they still crave attention ... a child's heart longs to be loved and appreciated. Styles, trends, society morals change, people do not. We are still all born as infants and we still go about the first few years of our lives the exact same way we always have, crawling."
But I surely got a laugh out of Momoverboard's "100 years ago, 11 year old boys were running a farm -- or at least doing a good share of the work. Now, I am happy if I can get my 11 year old son to pick up his socks and lower the toilet seat. Our expectaions for children have changed, lowered. As a result, they are living up to what we expect."

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

Maybe assist them, but not totally finance everything. There are too many negative side effects of doing that. **

There were a lot of children in my family, so we had to finance everything ourselves. I was working full time at age 15 just to buy clothing and shampoo. It was tough, but I don't regret it, it gave me character. **

I think that things are definately different for children now... 100 years ago, 11 year old boys were running a farm -- or at least doing a good share of the work. Now, I am happy if I can get my 11 year old son to pick up his socks and lower the toilet seat. Our expectaions for children have changed, lowered. As a result, they are living up to what we expect. **

I think one of the most important things we need to teach children is personal responsibilty. Children need to grow into adults that accept responsibilty for their actions. If they are always saying, "I am this way because of my circumstance" or "I am not this way because I wasn't ever given a fair shot" they will never succeed. They need to learn that they are in charge of their own destiny. THey decide how their life will turn out. Events and circumstances may steer them one way or the other, but ultimately, they decide what and who they are going to become. If they can grasp this, then they can go on to provide for their families, emotionally and financially. They need to learn that success comes from how we treat others, not how much money we make. **

** -- I could go on and on, but you probably get my drift... :)

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

It does give you character!!!
ASSIST your children no matter what age as long as they r actively trying, responsible & appreciative. That doesn't always mean money either. I was once told "never do for a child what a child can do for themselves" b/c we don't want to cripple the child's ability.

Answer 2

Only if they are doing something constructive like going to school, or seriously saving to buy a home.

Answer 3

definately... at least till they get married and move out!

Answer 4

It depends on your financial situation. I try to help my daughter when I can. She is 33 with 6 children and I love them all dearly. I can't do much but I do what I can. BUT you must help them to survive on their own as we moms won't always be around to help them. Good luck. Each decision must be made alone on this problem. Yes, children are different than they were when I was a child. They are more self-centered and expect more from their parents today. I guess it is us parents fault sometimes because as for me, I spoiled my daughter.

Answer 5

There were 5 of us. I am from Asia where you stay with the family till you have enough money to marry and buy a home. Most children continue to live with their parents and give some money as a sign of piety when they go to work. Otherwise if they are still in school and have not earned a living, the parents still give them 'pocket money' till they find a job or a person to marry.
Important thing to learn from parents is the importance of being kind to your fellow man, regardless of race, language or religion. Tolerance and empathy.

Answer 6

I think in positions where children are really trying hard to get ahead in life but finances are holding them back if a parent can help then yes they should. Not support the child. But assist them.
I think the difference between now and then is not a decline in work values. I think a lot of todays children really do want to do better for themselves. But economically it is more difficult. The cost of living is so much higher then what people are bringing in. Lets just say I make ten dollars an hour (which I do not...but that would be considered quite high 50 years ago) working a 40 hour work week before taxes that would be $400 a week after taxes approximately $345 a week and over $1300 a month. Ok well lets just say I didnt have kids and was single living in a one bedroom apartment (all this is just for the sake of arguement...holds no truth!) one bedroom apartments average $600 a month in my area. Now I am down to $700 a month in the best case scenario. Then you have internet which is basically a needed thing in todays world $30, cable $40, cell phone $70, land line phone $40, gas $50, electric $50. Now I am down to $420...I have not included car insurance,gas, FOOD, clothes, and any other bills or emergency fees that might be needed. At best in todays world I would be saving $100 a month getting paid what would be considered a high pay rate 50 years.
That is in a best case scenario where I did not have any children etc.
Now you throw in children...and boom there you go you have someone financially struggling!

Answer 7

should you? no
can you? if you can afford to
it wont help them to learn about handling money if it is given all the time
only 2 kids in my family... we had what we needed not wanted
yes we are very different now than 50, 100 yrs ago...
we knew our position in the family and in the life back then...
we knew hard times were only that and we made what we could out of it
we also learned that we did what we did in order to become more responsible with physical things...
patience is the best to teach , i think and
another is everything happens for a reason and there should be a reason for everything...
teach your children to use their brains and their own resources within themselves and to NOT rely on others for everything they do, say, or have...
only my opinion... not fact....LOL
my best "teacher" was the phrase "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" and im not religious... just spiritual
i adapted that phrase into my every day being and it helps lots...
dont treat people bad unless you want bad...
im old fashioned period

Answer 8

I WOULD ONLY IF THEY ARE GOING TO SCHOOL AND/ OR HAVE A JOB. AND ARE NOT SKIPPING SCHOOL OR WORK. I TEACH BY CHILDREN TO TRY AND IF IT CANT BE DONT THEN I WILL HELP. ALSO THAT IF YOU DONT HELP YOURSELF THEN NO ONE WILL HELP YOU, YOU HAVE TO HELP YOURSELF FIRST.

Source(s):

MY MOM

Answer 9

Only to a certain extent... such as if they're working, but need a little bit extra to cover them 'til next pay day.

Apart from that, they should earn it doing jobs around the house both for the parents & Grandparents (if they live nearby)... such as
- Painting
- Doing Dishes
- Vacuuming
- Digging the garden
(I get £5 an hour off my Grandma on weekends, and I'm 27).

Answer 10

Yes if they are in college.

Answer 11

Only if they are in college.
If they are not studying them they have to work as everybody else.

Answer 12

Yes we are different than 100 years ago. We were expected to be independant adults by 18. By 18, however, I think children should, at the very least, be capable, even if not very well, of the basic necessities (i.e. job, pay the bills, drive a car etc.). Of course they won't be financially set.
Three kids in my family. I moved out at 22 when I finished college. BUT while living at home I had to pay for basically anything I wanted to do and my car insurance etc. Once I was on my own, I did come back to mom and dad occassionally for help for a little while, but I always paid it back.
Teach your kids self-reliance and respect.

Answer 13

If they are studying (Bachelor's) I agree to continue to support... If they are just wasting their time or already have a BA they can fall back on... they should be on their own.

Answer 14

No, unless they are continuing their education, and need financial assistance to become self-supportive. If not pursuing an education, they should at least have a full-time job, and paying part of the bills at home. We should strive as parents to make our children self-sufficient in order for them to support themselves. How could we ever expect them to support a family of their own if they are incapable of supporting themselves? After all, we are raising children to become adults, not to be perpetual children who never want to grow up. Give them a fish, they can eat for a day, but teach them to fish, and they can feed themselves for a lifetime.

Answer 15

well i believe that children who are old enough to get a job. who are 18 should get a job. unless they are in a situation where they cant work.. but want to per-sue college.. that if the parents who have money should help.. but in some cases parents don't have the funds to do what your question asks... it could be either way...

Answer 16

Yes, I think that parents should finance their children after age 18. 18 is an arbitrary number signifying maturity in our society. Not everyone is ready to be self-sustaining at age 18 and parents are responsible for helping them become that not just until 18 but beyond in whatever way they can including financial help. It will cost them less to help with a few dorm items or a car payment here and there than to pay the cost of a messed up adult under pressure later on.

Answer 17

I believe wholeheartedly in supporting my children if they chose to go to college and get an education. I told them all I wouldn't make them pay anything if they were involved in full time education to better themselves. But each of my older children have grown up, gotten a job, and moved out on their own, and a couple are going to college on their own (you get better financial aide when you aren't a dependent on your parents' taxes). At that point, they are fully responsible for themselves. Although I have helped with things at times of distress, I think my kids are much wiser for learning on their own the hardships of the world without me having to tell them.

Answer 18

NO? I think that chilodren need to get out on their own when they are 18years old. And should be going to college, and have a part time job.

Answer 19

I believe you should help your children only to the degree which they are willing to help themselves. There is a thin line between helping a struggling young adult and enabling a moocher. The key is: Are they actually struggling or are they coasting along on your dollar?

Answer 20

honesty keep away from abusers and losers dont do drugs if u drink drink responsably my children will grow up smarter than i did because my parents didnt realy talk about life with me i tell me kids the honest truth about what ever they ask i dont want them to get false info and thing its true they ask me if it is and i let them know ither way as far as children being better than n the past that depends on who rases them & yes if i can financaly help i will when my own mother reaches an age she cant b alone she will move n with me im a 27 yr. old white american from houston tx this is unusual here i know when there 18 they can get a job and there going 2 go 2 college 2 much 4 1 person to handle on there own i know im also a single mom of 3 children and a college student and i work life is to hard to let some 1 i love go threw it without help moneys only money love is forever

Answer 21

NO!! YES< 3 brothers, 2 sisters, 1 son, 1 daughter. Children are 100% different than they were 50 or 100 years ago. To believe in God and a good education.

Answer 22

I belive that you should finance your children as long as they are know what they want out of life and are being very constuctive in trying to achieve their goal.

Answer 23

parents should HELP their kids whenever they need it.everybody needs help every once in awhile.there are 3 kids inmy family and we are all over 18. children today expect everything donefor them by their parents. parents should teach their children more about family values.

Answer 24

I would say that as long as they were attending school and doing good i would let them stay and help them out as much as possible. However, if they werent in school and screwing around, then i wouldnt.

Answer 25

It depends on the situation, I am 20 and my dad still helps me out, my husband and i split the rent with him actually, so i guess it's more like room mates. but we are just here until i finish college

Answer 26

yes

Answer 27

yes because your job as a parent is never ending u do not make it so they are not mostly independent and the aren't cable of taking care of themselves because what will they do when you are gone.

Source(s):

moi

Answer 28

i think they should help as much as they can if its in something to help build the child's future, i.e. funding for university

Answer 29

no

Answer 30

ON a limited basis.
Children should be encouraged to find jobs after school, and during the summer. A work ethic needs to be established prior to turning 18.
Parents can then finance the tuition for college, and perhaps a small percentage of the cost of car insurance for transportation.
By the time they have been working for a while it should become obvious to the child that they will need to work for the other things that they may want or need.

Answer 31

My parents helped me financially until I graduated from college at age 21. Then I was on my own to get a job and take care of myself.

That being said, they made sure I was fed, clothed and had a place to sleep. They never bought me a car, a cell phone or any other "luxury item." If I wanted it I was to buy it myself. I didn't have my first car until I graduated college, got a job and could buy it on my own.

I'm the oldest of three and I'm 30 years old.

I think the way my parents raised me taught me financial responsibility. We never had a lot of money when I was growing up, so I really appreciate the things I have now.

Every person should go through a stage in life where things aren't just handed to them. That helps us appreciate things when we have them even more.

I think this has definitely changed over the last 50 to 100 years. Each generation seems to have more and more and in the end I think it's hurting us because we don't aprpeciate what we have.

The most important thing to teach children is generosity and love.

Source(s):

my own experience